And now, a tribute to Britney Spears. Britney Spears, why do I like you so much? I hate your voice, but I somehow find your music irresistible. "She's so lucky. She's a star. But she cry-cry-cries in her lonely heart…" Despite the current glut of pop princesses on the market, my heart belongs to you, Britney. Why? Is it because Christina Aguilera looks like a slutty Jennifer Lopez in her latest video? Is it because I could be arrested for fucking Mandy Moore? Or is it because neither Christina, Mandy, or even that bitch Jessica have Britney Spears' Britney spheres? I'll take the latter one for $1000.