The Decline of Western Civilization

Introducing the first installment of a new series devoted to the icons of American culture. You know what we're talking about – AOL instant messenger, green ketchup, Miss Cleo and her free tarot card readings – things like that. This week's inductees come courtesy of Spin magazine:

DNA
Spring water can be cool and refreshing, but it never got you wasted – until now. "We're conquering the last frontier," says Steve Valentine, spokesman for DNA, the world's first and only alcoholic spring water – and, with a 5 percent alcohol content, we suggest shotgunning it. Brought to you by Wet Planet Beverages (the folks behind Jolt, the cola with the comedown), DNA is aimed at "young professionals and the fashion crowd," says Valentine. "It's slick and urban. It's high-tech water." Now if only somebody could do something about that oxygen.

Jonny Glow
Jonny Glow is uniquely designed to "help you see where you are going" in the middle of the night. Once applied to your toilet, the glow-in-the-dark strips of Jonny Glow will help you to accurately use the facilities without missing and creating unwanted mess. With only a fifteen minute charge from normal bathroom light, this industrial strength material will glow for ten full hours.

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