Does anyone buy Girl Scout Cookies other than Thin Mints and Samoas?

All the bathroom stalls in my building were out of toilet paper, so I had to wipe with toilet seat covers.

I saw an ad for Rollitos — Doritos rolled up to look like a taquito — and it said that they were "easier to eat." Are Doritos that difficult to eat?

Ben Affleck appears on the cover of the latest issue of Rolling Stone as a lesbian. He must have the same agent as Terrell Owens.

Wouldn't it be great if Hellboy knocked The Passion of the Christ out of the number one spot on the box office chart?

I saw Sparta at the Troubadour. Good show. "Assemble the Empire" is particularly awesome live.

I think anyone over six feet tall should not be allowed to like music.

There were a lot of Mexicans in the audience. Mexicans and Murder City Devils fans.

I've noticed that there are a lot of Mexicans at emocore shows. Brown skin, spiked hair, black clothes, Cadillac. I bet you none of them can speak Spanish.

During the show, I had a sudden flashback to the visual of a baby rocking out to The Stooges.

Also, I realized how easy it would be to get away with murder at a sold-out show. Watch out, Mexicans!

We have self-destructing wristbands and vacuums that can operate themselves, but no cure for cancer.

Next show: buzz band Franz Ferdinand plays a free show on Tuesday at (of all places) one of the food courts in my school's student union.