Written in Cold Blood with a Toothpick

reporting from: nor cal

Apparently, Paige Price, the butch cunt who overthrew my beloved high school journalism adviser (go ahead and sue me for libel, you fuckin' witch), makes staff members watch the movie Shattered Glass as part of her "responsible journalism" agenda curriculum.

I think the adjective "sassy" was invented for black women.

I see a lot of portly black homeless men with portable stereos riding buses.

I stopped at a red light on El Camino behind a car with a "Dean for America" bumper sticker attached. Seconds later, a car with a "Clark 04" bumper sticker attached rolled up in the lane beside mine. Give it up, people. The longer you hold out on adhesive remover, the more pathetic you look.

Inspired by Sky Captain, I'm-a make a retro sci-fi in which the Gay Straight Alliance must topple the Axis of Pedophil.

The information bar at the top of the screen during Fox NFL broadcasts is a cluttered eyesore. It's hard to read the information. Why can't Fox use the same "classic" information bar it uses for MLB broadcasts?

I've seen the Boogie Man and he's Steven Cojocaru of Entertainment Tonight.

I've decided to be Isaac Brock in the video for Modest Mouse's "Float On" for Halloween. I think Rory's planning to dress up as Carlos from Interpol.