Paint a gun with my brains and put my head to the wall

—Love how we fuck up our circadian rhythms every quarter during finals.

Yes, quarters, not semesters.

I know some people in the midwest who laughed when I told them that I receive "units" for classes instead of "credits."

—Units. That's slang for penises. Tee hee.

Credits are what you receive for putting quarters in an arcade console.

The first paper I ever wrote in college was on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and the civil rights movement in Birmingham, Alabama.

The last paper I will ever write in college is on Fight Club.


Best Action Sequence 2004 nominees
"The Scourging" — The Passion of the Christ
"The First Ten Minutes" — Dawn of the Dead
"The Operating Room" — Spider-Man 2
"The Skyscraper/The Train" — Spider-Man 2
"Rumble in the Jungle" — The Incredibles