Q: Which celebrity does your daughter look like?
A: Chris Farley

— from a commercial for Date My Mom

The complete 2004 Adam Riff™ archives are up.

In Hornblower's update from May 20, 2004, he wrote about reading an article about three teenage boys accused of gang-raping an unconscious minor in Orange County to Jord, Jon Wilcox, Warp Pipe Chad and I when the guys were in town for E3.

I saw this in yesterday's paper:
—A 14-year-old boy accused of robbing and raping boys near an Anaheim junior high school is a "little" boy who should be charged as a juvenile rather than an adult, his defense attorney said.

—The boy is charged with four attacks on boys walking near Ball Junior High School. Authorities say he threatened them with a knife and demanded money. In two cases, he allegedly took the victims in an alley and sexually assaulted them.

—He is believed to be the youngest person ever charged as an adult with rape in Orange County.

Underage. Homosexual. Rapist.

Man, teenage boys in Orange County must be really desperate to get laid.