Take it! It's yours!

I saw a clip of "The Sports Guy" Bill Simmons on ESPN2 discussing Bill Buckner. He has a very effeminate voice for a person whom so many men worship.

Simmons: "Sorry, I refuse to watch any sport where Pete Carroll can be considered a genius. One of my rules in life."

Interesting that USC plays Oklahoma for the college football championship on the same day that a film about the fall of Troy is released on DVD.

I make no effort to hide my complete abhorrence of the University of Southern California, particularly its athletic teams.

Whenever I see a piece of USC merchandise, my body starts seething. It's like a conditioned response. One of these days, I'm going to snap at the sight of burgundy and gold and a Trojan head and a Nike swoosh and the letters U and S and C and O.J. Simpson.

I know school rivalries are not supposed to be taken seriously, but I've hopelessly internalized the competitive sentiment. Pantone 279 runs deep in my veins. I honestly wouldn't mind the death penalty if it meant I could strangle Norm Chow with his own intestines.

This is a really strange photograph of Randy Johnson. It looks like someone photoshopped his goofy head into the image.

Yes, I used "Photoshop" as a verb.

I saw a commercial on Spike TV for AutoRox, the first ever awards show for cars, because apparently, my gender wanted one.

Couldn't this shit be resolved in a simple blog entry?

The Most Jammin' Truck of 2005: Dodge Ram
The Mad-Real SUV of 2005: Cadillac Escalade
The Tastiest Tuner of 2005: Honda Civic…

We all know that Spike TV will only turn automotive appreciation into a farce like it did with video games.

The man behind AutoRox wrote this on its official website:
"[At the 2004 Spike TV Video Game Awards, Funkmaster] Flex did an amazing job of keeping the crowd alive during the breaks. I hope we can get his help on AutoRox."

Oh dear…

What's next? An awards show for power tools?

"Yo yo yo! Make some noise for DeWalt's spline drive rotary hammers!"

In related news, on Monday, radio station KSFN-AM in Las Vegas became Spike 1140 AM: Radio For Men.

"In such a short time, Spike TV has made an impact on guys and the television landscape," said Spike TV President Albie Hecht. "We're very excited about extending our brand into radio, and hope this venture will lead us to partnerships in other major cities."

It'll be a few years, however, before Spike TV overtakes AIDS.