Armageddon 2: Armageddon

In the past few days, a veritable parade of old, irrelevant, white and/or Jewish comedians resurfaced on cable news to tell anecdotes.

Normally, this kind of drivel is reserved for Larry King Live, but suddenly every show needs an expert on Johnny Carson.

Don Rickles. Carl Reiner. Dick Cavett. Mike Douglas. Merv Griffin. Joan Rivers. David Brenner. Chevy Chase. Robert Klein. Rich Little. Bob Newhart. Joe Piscopo.

I think these has beens should start wearing t-shirts with Johnny's face on them in public like rappers.

In Hollywood, I once saw a person dressed as SpongeBob Squarepants wearing a shirt with SpongeBob Squarepants on it. That's some mindblowing meta-hyper-identity shit, I thought.

Note to self: Kiefer Sutherland's favourite word is "gravitas" and his least favourite word is "nigger."

From now on, when I discuss Canadians, I'm-a use their native spelling.


Tuesday and Wednesday at 11:00 pm on E!, witness former WWE wrestler Chyna's recent disastrous appearance on The Howard Stern Show. During this soon-to-be legendary trainwreck, Chyna performs "Hey Joe" by Jimi Hendrix with her brother on guitar and former WWE wrestler (and Chyna's sex tape co-star) X-Pac confronts his ex-girlfriend on the air.