It's not a tumor!

A fortnight ago, Howard Stern talked to "California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger" on the air about blowing up the moon.

Inexplicably, the Arnold impersonator and his proposal to destroy the moon fooled a few press outlets.

Joe Scarborough on the April 25 episode of Scarborough Country:

According to "The London Evening Standard," Arnold recently went on Howard Stern's radio show and offered his theory on how to end premenstrual syndrome, saying — quote — "If we get rid of the moon, women, whose menstrual cycles are governed by the moon, will not get PMS. They will stop bitching and whining."

Hey, Governor, way to make 50 percent of California's voting population turn frigid towards you. I don't know how it works in Austria, but let me tell you something, friend. Jokes about such matters? Not laughing subjects to women in America.

Meanwhile, in my vacation state of Michigan, the Detroit Metro Convention and Visitors Bureau commissioned a new theme song (there was an old one?) for the city, "What It's Like in the D," to help market Detroit and boost enthusiasm for big events such as the Major League Baseball All-Star Game in July and Super Bowl XL in February.

It's closer than you think
It's what you're searching for
And like a river runs
There's always something more
There's nations coming together where the Spirit flies

And now we're letting you know
So get ready to go
It's all happening here — what's new in the D?
There's something you need to hear about Detroit City
You just gotta be here to truly believe
What it's like in the D

Apparently, Detroit's new theme is vagueness.

For more insight on "what it's like in the D," we go to Eminem:

That's why the city is filled with a bunch of fuckin' idiots still
That's why the first motherfucker poppin' some shit — he gets killed
That's why we don't call it "Detroit"; we call it "Amityville"
You can get capped after just having a cavity filled
That's why we're crowned the murder capital still
This ain't Detroit — this is motherfuckin' Hamburger Hill
We don't do drive-bys; we park in front of houses and shoot
And when the police come, we fuckin' shoot it out with them too
That's the mentality here, that's the reality here

PRIAPISMnow: eminem's statistics are skewed