Affliction, Endocrine…Vertigo

Sean Burns on War of the Worlds in the Philadelphia Weekly:

It's hard to think of a movie that flames out quite as awfully as this one does. For about an hour I thought I was watching the best movie of the year, and I spent the second half with my face buried shamefully in my hands.

The film dies in Robbins' basement, and it dies hard.

Save for Batman Begins, June's cinema slate suffered from incredibly unsatisfying denouements.

Where was a boss man at the end of Mr. and Mrs. Smith? Why did Kaufman vs. Cholo no-contest after barely a minute in Land of the Dead?

Oh and let's not forget the ALIENS WHO DIED OF FOOD POISONING!

Spielberg hasn't dropped the ball like this since, well, Minority Report.


I might be more excited to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory if Willy Wonka didn't come across as a total buffoon in the trailer. Not Johnny Depp at his finest, no sir… Then again, look at the dialogue written for him:

[gasp]
I don't care…
I can see that.
[gasp]
Hehe. Okay…
You're really weird…
Let's boogie!
Oh…
Wow!

Toddlers have a larger vocabulary.