1970 Topps Burt Blyleven Rookie Card

Apparently, some people still haven't seen R. Kelly's insanely entertaining urban operetta "Trapped in the Closet" in its entirety.

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5

You're welcome.

The writers for 24 wish they could devise such enthralling plot twists.

Kelly's use of "doot"s to censor expletives in Chapter 5 is icing on the cake.

MTV announced the nominees for the 2005 MTV Video Music Awards (or, if last year's broadcast was any indication, the BET Video Music Awards).

Video of the Year
"Speed of Sound" – Coldplay
"Boulevard of Broken Dreams" – Green Day
"Hollaback Girl" – Gwen Stefani
"Jesus Walks" – Kanye West
"Drop It Like It's Hot" – Snoop Dogg feat. Pharrell

While I don't expect MTV to honor the most deserving videos, I'm surprised that "Y Control" and "Always" — two of the more memorable clips to grace MTV this past year — received a combined zero nominations. Not even a technical nod.

But hey, it would be a travesty if the filmic achievement that is Green Day walking around a soundstage for four minutes went unnoticed.

Resfest announced the 2005 line-ups for its popular music video programs.

Almost all of the curated works are available for viewing online in one format or another, but how often do you get to watch avant-garde music videos in a movie theatre?

Cinema Electronica (favorites in bold)
"1976" – RJD2
"7 Minutes" – Circlesquare
"Believe" – Chemical Brothers
"Blinded By The Lights" – The Streets
"Bullyshit" – Quasimoto
"Dream" – Dizzee Rascal
"Feels Like It Should" – Jamiroquai
"Galvanize" – Chemical Brothers
"Hitchcock" – Phoenix Foundation
"I Want More" – Faithless
"Is This A Real City" – Jimmy Edgar"
"Just Briefly" – Daedelus
"Lo-Fiction 2005" – Jori Hulkkonen
"Love Game" – Shakedown
"Milky Way" – Towa Tei feat. Ryuichi Sakamoto
"The Sad Song" – Fredo
"Shot You Down" – Audio Bullys feat. Nancy Sinatra
"Sixes Last" – Alias
"Smile Around The Face" – Four Tet
"U Don't Know Me" – Basement Jaxx
"Whistle And A Prayer" – Coldcut

Videos That Rock (favorites in bold)
"Back To The Lake" – Guided By Voices
"Daft Punk Is Playing At My House – LCD Soundsystem
"Drink To Moving On" – Grand National
"E Talking" – Soulwax
"Evil" – Interpol
"How 'Bout That" – Gisli
"Human" – Carpark North
"I Wonder" – The Willowz
"Ma Mélodie" – M
"Magic" – Marbles
"Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)" – The Arcade Fire
"Pink Bullets" – The Shins
"Pioneers" – Bloc Party
"Romantic Death" – The Sun
"Shouty Track" – Lemon Jelly
"Smile" – Mad Action
"The Joker – Fatboy Slim
"You Gotta Hold On" – The Flaming Lips

The traveling film festival begins September 15 in New York City. Stops in other major cities in America, Canada, Europe, Asia and Australia will follow throughout the fall.

4) Their Chinese restaurants inexplicably add the word "balls" to the end of any Sweet & Sour dish. Do "Sweet & Sour Chicken Balls" sound appetizing to anyone?

5) A radio station that bills itself as "Calgary's best rock" plays the new single from Staind.

6) Ads for Lake Louise promote it as "Home of the Grizzly Bear." Is it the only one in the world? And I sure didn't see it.

Reasons Why Canadians Suck