Tom Brady would kick your ass

President to Investigate Katrina Response
Vows to 'Find Out What Went Right and What Went Wrong'

Related: Bush vows to find Saddam's weapons

Just tell the country that you didn't act immediately because you were getting stoned. We'll understand.

Black Family Channel
How did this evade my radar until today?

Of the ten families participating in the next Amazing Race, one is African-American.

Their surname? Black.

Yes, the Black family. The Black team.

"We have to beat the Blacks!"

It'd be amusing if the other nine families consisted entirely of white supremacists.

Grand Wizard Phil: Smith family, you're the last team to arrive. The niggers were second. Tsk tsk… [gunshots] I'm sorry to tell you that you've been eliminated from our race.

I'm convinced that hell is a boundaryless Spencer Gifts store.

Chocolate chip Kudos to whoever's behind the home-stretch advert for The Exorcism of Emily Rose that gradually decelerates the already creepy narration recording.

If I could choose one superpower for myself, I'd choose the ability to fold letter-size paper into exact thirds.

According to MTV, this fall, the "10 Spot Drop" will introduce me to Coheed and Cambria.