Handguns for hearts

Q: What did Nick say to Jessica in a last-ditch effort to preserve their marriage?
A: Give me just one night…una noche! (in a bad Tex-Mex accent)

actual ad on the website for "America's most-watched network"

Is it a Wallflowers song or a show on Fuse?

01. allnighter
02. bleeders
03. 4 play
04. heroes
05. hollywood
06. marcha
07. nearly beloved
08. 7th avenue drop
09. sleepwalker
10. steven's untitled rock show
11. the dive
12. three ways

answers: 1. F | 2. WF | 3. F | 4. WF | 5. WF | 6. F | 7. WF | 8. F | 9. WF | 10. F | 11. F | 12. WF

What's with all the animated penguins this year?

Madagascar, The Madagascar Penguins in a Christmas Caper, Happy Feet, a Coca-Cola commercial…

Meanwhile, jealous of Chilly Willy's recent spike in Bat Mitzvah bookings, Woody tries to sell the French on a documentary about woodpeckers.

"Heh-heh-heh-HEH-heh! Heh-heh-heh-cough-hack-wheeze… Le emphysema."

I'm-a animate a short film in which a bunch of penguins die of bird flu — a bunch of BABY penguins!

Death March of the Penguins.

Actually, scrap that.

The film will center around Burgess Meredith mass-cloning himself, perhaps to battle an army of Danny DeVitos.

Rappers like to rap about abortion, specifically how their mothers should have had 'em.

NOW ought to chew on that the next time they protest hip-hop misogyny.