Life lessons from a semi-retarded bear

Front-runner for "worst album title of the year": He Poos Clouds (Final Fantasy).

When Esquire asked men who they'd invite from a list of 14 notable women to a dinner party, they chose Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. Rice was followed by Oprah Winfrey and Angelina Jolie.

Asked which famous man they'd invite to dinner, 37 percent picked "Tonight [Show]" host Jay Leno. [source]

Condoleezza Rice? Oprah? Jay freakin' Leno?

I'd invite all of them to dinner — at Louis' Restaurant with a gun hidden in the men's restroom.

One of my father's cousins flew in yesterday for her daughter's Stanford graduation and she gave me a wallet she handpicked for me embossed with gold mermaids.

You'd think "Nuthin' But a 'G' Thang" would at least rank above Korn.

At Foothill College today, I found a pamphlet for its LGBT Heritage Month Celebration.

The opening ceremony was a lecture by Alexander and Jane Nakatani, who lost two (gay) sons to AIDS and one to murder, shot to death in a dispute with an illegal Mexican immigrant over a car.

Wow. I thought my luck was bad…

Interesting how the Nakatanis birthed two gay children out of three while other parents can procreate in the double-digits and beget nary a queer.

Also part of the LGBT Heritage Month Celebration: screenings of Rent and Brokeback Mountain.

[sigh] Such uninspired selections.

To be fair, I'd feel the same way about an Asian Heritage Celebration showing The Joy Luck Club.

Cultural masturbation is so lame. I thought America was supposed to be a melting pot. Let's melt.

Uwe Boll's Postal Invitational
"Chowderhead will personally go mano-a-mano with his biggest detractors in boxing matches that will be used in the film."