Dear animals at the Lincoln Park Zoo:
What's up with the rock star attitudes, turning your backs on me and/or retreating out of sight?
I'm not a paparazzo!
Okay, I kind of am, but I didn't pay to be snubbed!
Okay, admission was free, but…
What I'm trying to say is that y'all live in a zoo. Start acting like exhibits!
I saw a box for American flag recycling in the lobby of the local library branch.
Considering that letting an American flag merely touch the ground is blasphemous, who would even contemplate recycling one? Certainly not the type of people who'd buy an American flag to begin with.
I looked inside the box. Two dirty but neatly folded flags sat at the bottom.
If I completed Marine Corps training, I'd put a sticker on the back of my car too.