Japanese people are very lucky

Previously on Adam Riff™:

I need a viable Halloween costume idea. I'm leaning toward being Frank Costello from The Departed.

My mother called.

"Your father and I need to be somewhere on Halloween night. So does Winston. Can you hand out candy in our neighbourhood?"

Because I'm a pushover, I agreed, all the while gazing at the dildo on my desk.

What am I gonna do with a black dildo now? Scare trick-or-treaters? I've already alienated the neighbourhood once in high school by distributing sugar packets after I ran out of candy.

I suppose I could try to return it. I'd have to travel back up to the city though.