Someday you will find me caught beneath the landslide

The drink menu at Chili's describes Electric Lemonade as "Bacardi Limon Rum and a special blend of bright blue juices."

Bright blue juices?

While waiting for a Citrus Squeeze at Jamba Juice, I noticed a stack of free film tickets on a little table usually reserved for company newsletters and job applications.

Each ticket admitted one to a film on Scientology marriage counseling at the Dianetics and Scientology Life Improvement Information Center in downtown Mountain View.

Beside the tickets stood a stack of mail-in Scientology personality tests.

3. Do you browse through railway timetables, directories or dictionaries just for pleasure?

26. Is your life a constant struggle for survival?

98. Would you use corporal punishment on a child aged ten if it [sic] refused to obey you?

122. Do you ever get disturbed by the noise of the wind?

156. Could you allow someone to finish those "final two words" in a crossword puzzle without interfering?

Could it be? Is Jamba Juice in cahoots with Scientologists? Or did Scientologists infiltrate the table?

Haha. Scientologists infiltrate Jamba Juice. WHAT?

A woman in a Trader Joe's shirt with a glory hole cut out below her navel boarded the train and immediately covered her nose and escaped to the adjoining car.

A minute later, she returned to the car I was in and pulled out a bottle of air freshener from her purse.

Spray spray spray.

Spray spray spray.

Sprays spray spray spray spray.

Soon, the car actually began to reek — of air freshener.

Who carries air freshener around?

Alas, on YouTube, I couldn't find a montage of Mark Dacascos announcing secret ingredients on Iron Chef America.

Will Ferrell won't let me embed, so…

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