My brother called me on Friday.

"I need you to pick me up at the train station tomorrow."

My parents are currently in China.

"What time?"
"In the morning?"
"[sigh] Okay."

I arrived at the train station 10 minutes early. As the 9:20 train pulled in, my mobile rang.


"Jon, I missed the train. I'm gonna catch the next one. Pick me up at 10:20."
"[sigh] Okay."

I didn't want to drive all the way home, so I passed time at a nearby shopping center. While I was surveying soups at Safeway, my mobile rang.

"Jon, I missed the second train. Can you just pick me up directly?"

On the drive over, I contemplated what to say to my brother.

How do you miss a second train?
I wanted to sleep-in too!
Do you know how much gas costs? This car only accepts premium too!
Don't waste my time!

When my brother entered the car, however, I didn't have to heart to press the issue.

My brother stayed with me Saturday night.

While I was watching Saturday Night Live, I heard clanging in the kitchen.

"What are you doing?"
"Baking a cake."

My brother likes to bake cakes.

"Now? Well, wash what you use."

As I headed to sleep, I observed one box of cake mix and two containers of frosting on the kitchen counter.

On Sunday, I watched my brother assemble his cake.

He filled two layers of cake with frosting and then frosted the cake-wich.

Then he topped the frosting-filled frosted mound with sprinkles.

I debated whether to interject…

What the fuck is that?
Who's gonna eat that?
The ratio of cake to frosting is like 1:3!
You're gonna give people diabetes!

but decided not to.

Apparently, my brother is collecting jackets for colleges that rejected him — Berkeley, UCLA, et al.

Whatever boosts his self-esteem, I guess.

You love your brother.