Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

» It has no soul.

» I didn't expect a 9:15 a.m. screening to be so full.

» Real-time thought: "Classified Alien Autobot Cooperation Act… CAACA. Heh. The acronym sounds like poop."

I forgot to bring a pen or paper, so throughout the screening, I repeated the acronym in my head. "CAACA: Classified Alien Autobot Cooperation Act."

» "21 Guns": the official theme song of Megan Fox. It's a bit like selling a cruise line with an song about heroin addiction, no?

IMDb trivia:

The college scenes were shot at the University of Pennsylvania and Princeton University. Both schools are old rivals; when students at Penn heard that Bay had chosen to also shoot scenes at Princeton, they were outraged.

Neither Penn nor Princeton are named in the film, because both schools' bodies felt that the Judy Witwicky scenes were damaging to their image.

Before: Judy Witwicky? What?
After: Ah.

» The actor who plays the frat boy in the tight shirt plays the same character on Greek.

» Tom Kenny, the voice of SpongeBob SquarePants, voices the negro twins. Is Revenge of the Fallen his Soul Man?

He also voiced Nute Gunray for the Clone Wars series. No shame in his game.

» I await a YouTube montage of Shia LaBeef's seizing — as the Transformer Intersect, when Megatron probes him…

» Real-time thought: "The boy is the map — this is the plot of Waterworld."

» Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci wrote both Star Trek and Revenge of the Fallen. Both films halt in the middle so aged characters can lazily explain it all at once via narration.

» I wonder if Paramount forbade Michael Bay from incorporating the Eiffel Tower, as its destruction is a set piece in G.I. Joe.

Special effects spent seven months setting up a 1000-gallon gasoline bomb for an explosion in the Giza Guerilla. It took longer to set up the bomb than it took to shoot the whole film.

» Interesting handling of Shia's mid-shoot hand injury.

» I missed Devastator's wrecking ball testicles . I was distracted with "CAACA" when I heard John Turturro say "scrotum," and before my eyes could focus, the film cut to another scene.

» I can understand not wanting to deface the mural inside Al Khazneh, but archaeologists never bothered to explore the inside of that pyramid?

» Considering his name is in the title and he waited tens of millenniums for revenge, The Fallen's defeat is awfully anti-climactic. Old Man Transformer puts up a better fight!

Three of the film's action sequences were shot with IMAX cameras. However, because of the increased resolution created from using IMAX it took the ILM animators five days to render one frame of those scenes with the Transformers.

It took 140 terabytes to process the CGI for all the robots in this film.

How will Michael Bay top himself in Transformers 3?

It's gotta be Transformers 3D, right? Megan Fox's rack — in yo face!

—transformers: dawn of the dinobots

Shift from cars to creatures — a live-action Beast Wars!

With Wikipedia's help, I cobbled together a treatment:

The Transformers travel back in time and land on ancient Earth. It proves to be poisonous to both factions' robot forms, forcing them to take on alternate organic forms for protection.

Megatron discovers a buried Autobot Ark and decides to kill the Optimus Prime lying in The Ark in stasis lock, altering the timeline and preventing the Autobots from defeating the Decepticons.

Eh? A little Back to the Future, a little Terminator

The money shot: Optimus Prime fights a Tyrannosaurus rex.

R2-D2 Spotted Hiding in "Star Trek" Movie
R2-D2 Appears in Transformers 2

If the trend holds, RD-D2 will cameo in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.


  1. hugo 29 Jun 09 at 14:28

    i cant believe this merited an 'okay' from douchebag circle jerk; this was, by far, one of the stupidest films ive seen in ages. internet commenting isnt my thing since its just an echo chamber of bitching but oh my GOD i am seriously STILL insulted that nearly three hours of my life + $11.75 of my cash was compromised. overkill on stoned mom sequence + the balls + the black bots + megan fox (who couldnt even say the "…Ex" line with ANY fucking fiber of thespian competence–IT'S ONE FUCKING WORD AND SHE EVEN FUCKED THAT UP) just made the entire experience a wretched clusterfuck of stupidity at its most basic definition. it cant even justify itself for being 'popcorn.' its that bad. so bad. this needs to be changed to 'suck.'

  2. Aaron 29 Jun 09 at 15:29

    Or maybe changed to "Retarded but pretty fucking entertaining if you're high."


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *