Somebody's cold one is giving me chills

I only receive six holidays off: New Year's Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labour Day, Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day.

Memorial Day originally commemorated the end of the American Civil War, and Independence Day commemorates America's declaration of independence from Great Britain.

What if the Civil War ended in early December and the Second Continental Congress adopted the Declaration of Independence in early January?

—and summer ended on the first Monday in November

New Year's Day through Memorial Day can be a rough stretch for agnostics who work in the private sector.

I propose moving Christmas to March, thus establishing a common holiday every other month in a year — January, March, May, July, September, November. Moreover, I propose that Christmas coincide with the first day of the NCAA men's basketball tournament.

Christmas isn't untouchable. We don't know exactly when Jesus was born, and Jesus is likely bullshit anyway. Why not move Christmas closer to Easter and create a super celebration?

"Endless Jesus is back! For a limited time only."

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1 Comment

  1. bdot 03 Jul 09 at 20:18

    not sure WHAT i was expecting when i clicked on "ceiling porn"….

    …but that wasn't it.


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