I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy

Previously on Adam Riff™:
I'm convinced that my brother will someday declare bankruptcy. He cannot manage money whatsoever, and he's majoring in business!


My brother returned from a trip to Ghana with a gift for me — duty free dark chocolate.

While it's the thought that counts, I can't stop stewing over his lack of thought.

You bought chocolate in an airport? WHY? Right before you left, you dinged a 2009 BMW while driving with no auto insurance and then you go and buy chocolate in a fuckin' airport?

His impulsive spending frustrates me to no end, but I'm loath to dissociate myself from him. He's not a regret I wish to bear.

I have, however, fantasized about savouring my brother's financial struggles when our parents are no longer around to feed his habit.

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