Doin' the Cockroach

"Why did I need to attend this lunch?"
"I want you to meet this dermatologist."
"Can I order whatever?"
"No, I arranged a special prix fixe meal. The doctor and his family don't eat raw fish."
"So you invited them to a sushi restaurant?"

"What's on the menu?"
"Steak, and snail, and crab…"
"Ah. Surf and turf. At a sushi restaurant."

The dermatologist's teenage son sat down across from me.

"What grade are you in?"
"Uh… No grade. I have a job."
"Oh. I thought you were a junior or senior in high school."

I hadn't shaved in a week and still looked underage.

"What grade are you in?"
"I'm a freshman in high school."

I later learned that he was born in 1996.

I was a freshman in high school when he was born.

"Can I just have some fish roe?" the dermatologist's teenage son asked our waiter.
"Me too," added his sister.

Our waiter returned with two bowls of tobiko (flying fish roe), which the siblings devoured straight up.

As the son licked his bowl clean, a middle-aged Chinese man wearing a Twilight shirt (tucked in) entered the restaurant with his family.

"Can I have some more fish roe?" the son asked our waiter.

Our waiter returned with a second bowl.

If God is so benevolent, why did he make crabs so difficult to eat?

Pizza Hut amazingly keeps finding ways to stuff cheese inside a pizza.

Idea: A wheel of cheese topped with pepperoni.

Idea: A nacho cheesecake pie with a Goldfish crust.

I hate how people look at me like I'm a child molester when desserts I ordered at restaurants arrive.

American Vice: Mapping the 7 Deadly Sins

1 Comment

  1. Kurtis 08 Sep 09 at 04:32

    Do people look at you like that or do you just think people look at you like that? Why should anybody care if you're ordering dessert?


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