I missed the game to eat dinner with family. Not gonna lie I participated solely to collect red envelopes. I couldn't pass up free money for a free meal.
"What is this?"
"Oyster lettuce wraps."
Dinner consisted of 22 courses. I may have consumed an entire ecosystem.
Chinese dinners normally conclude with a steamed fish. Last night, however, the fish was followed by two jumbo crabs, a seven-pound lobster and six different desserts.
Elder relatives expectedly pushed me to finish what wasn't eaten because "I'm young."
"Another lettuce wrap?"
"C'mon… You're young!"
B subdued her children with Yan Yans.
"How can you feed him that? It fell on the floor!"
"I wiped it with a wet nap. Besides, five-second rule."
"I think wiping a biscuit stick with a wet nap negates the five-second rule."
"Wet naps are non-toxic, Jon."
When did Meiji begin printing text on Yan Yan sticks?
Idea: Adult Yan Yan sticks, like adult fortune cookies.
"When do you return to Japan?"
"Did you see Eddie yet?"
"No. He moved to…Kentucky?"
"No, North Carolina. Bought himself a mansion."
"Oh. Good for him…"
One, two, three…four hundred. That's 80% of my auto body repair deductible…