Go swallow the summer and choke on the fumes

—Consuming a Slurpee in a Whole Foods, it's gauche.

—Alienade just tastes like blue Icee to me.

—Idea: Artisan Slurpees. Cereal milk. Sriracha melon. Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA.

—You know what really grinds my gears? That we have to jockey for position on search engines with a "search whiz" named Adam Riff. Google image search "Adam Riff." Our photo of a man sticking his dick in a horse's nostril used to be the first search result. This fucker is trying to bury it!

—Idea: America's Next Jackass, a reality competition to replace Ryan Dunn.
—Auditioning replacements for a dead man on television?
—Hey, INXS did it.

—Reality Idea: Baron Davis, Trevor Ariza, and Russell Westbrook are currently taking a history class together at UCLA.

—Reality Idea: Kanye West reportedly hired Gordon Ramsay to teach him how to cook.

—You know what really grinds my gears? That the Boxcar Children are saved by a wealthy grandfather. I'd much rather read about orphaned siblings raising themselves in an abandoned boxcar than fuckin' trust fund detectives. Book one: Homeless. Book two: Summer vacation on an almost private island!

What's Wrong with the Culture of Critique
A house inside which you can skateboard on everything

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