Don't smoke cheeba, can't stand crack

Previously on Adam Riff™ (October 2005):
Yesterday, I found a pubic hair in the dishwasher.

I was peeing at Chipotle and saw a pubic hair on top of the urinal, which was waist-high.

Idea: Pube Blotter.

Why is no one talking about New York City's famed Halal Guys opening 80! franchises in California? We don't even have a Shake Shack yet.

My local Whole Foods Market has an olive bar with 56! variations on olives. Demand for perishable olives can't possibly be that high.

My local Safeway has an olive bar too, and it's like, please, people who buy olives from olive bars aren't buying them at Safeway.

I guess an olive bar is a status symbol for supermarkets, but they just seem like a waste of space.

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