Pretend that it's a fortnight ago.
// Las Vegas, NV
Each of the 10 pools at The Venetian and The Palazzo provides a distinct experience, perfect for fun or relaxation.
VITA POOL
Work out the kinks and maintain body tone by swimming a few laps in the Vita Pool. Reserved for lap swimming all day, Mondays – Thursdays and from 8 to 11 a.m., Fridays – Sundays. [source]
This pool is never open.
If you don't want to staff every pool during off-peak months, post a sign that reads "no lifeguard on duty" like my gym does, and my gym's pool is deeper than any pool on this deck.
$10 million for a defective chair?!
I want a T-shirt with this slot machine header on it:
Slot machine streetwear.
A Supreme slot machine.
Idea: Casino Decathlon.
In this order:
Sportsbook
Blackjack
Pai Gow
Casino War
Roulette
Keno
Baccarat
Slot Machine
Craps
Texas Hold'em Poker
The contestant with the most money at the end wins.
Sports bets must be on sporting events happening that day.
You have one hour and $1000 to play each of the first nine games, and $1000 plus whatever the $9000 became to play Texas Hold'em. Texas Hold'em is last so you can all-in a comeback.
You can play each game for as long as you want, so long as you play at least $500.
On hold with my hotel's concierge after sending out a shirt to be laundered with $3000 in its pocket:
"Each suite features an Italian marble bathroom…"
—And a plastic bathtub.
Most oppressively odoriferous casinos on the Strip:
5. The Cosmopolitan
4. The Linq
3. Casino Royale
2. Harrah's
1. Flamingo
During an uberX ride, my driver told me that he hung out with Pac-12 commissioner Larry Scott at the Pac-12 Tournament. They grew up together.
—How are you an uberX driver? Were you injured in a hotel?