Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

6. Trail Blazers Fans Play the Worst Tic-Tac-Toe Game of All Time (Hornets at Trail Blazers, 02-08-18)

Stray Observations

  • "You tried to use Hanson against me?! They're just boys!"
    "Boys?" (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E16)
  • "I had no choice but to detain him for having unpermitted doves."
    "Doves? But walking in a mesh tank top with fireworks is okay?"
    "It's Florida. That image was almost our state flag." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E16)
  • "Emery, we need to have a serious talk, which is impossible while you're wearing a mesh tank top." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E16)
  • "Oh, hey, Black Nanny Two." (Black-ish, S04E13)
  • "You look down on them like I look down on Under Armour shoes."
    "Oh, Dre, I don't have that kind of hate in my heart for anyone."
    "It's not hate. It's just that Steph Curry thinks we can't tell he'd rather be in Jordans." (Black-ish, S04E13)
  • "Okay, it seems as if I've struck a chord with you black side. Is it possible that I can talk to your white side?" (Black-ish, S04E13)
  • "You are not the guy who picketed Subway when they started toasting the bread."
    "Somebody had to stand up for Quiznos."
    "Of course."
    "And Togo's gets no respect." (Black-ish, S04E13)
  • "Was he dressed like Earth, Wind and Fire?"
    "Was the body your boss put in the fire dressed like Maurice White?" (Black Lightning, S01E04)
  • "Hey, real quick, before you knock me out, you think I can get a pic? And can you make sure you light up?"
    "What?! No!" (Black Lightning, S01E04)
  • "Someone should burn this lesbian whorehouse to the ground." (Black Lightning, S01E04)
  • "I know the plane has been cleared. Is there any way I could pop back on and get something?"
    "What do you think this is, September 10?" (LA to Vegas, S01E05)
  • "I'll have what she's having. Like the movie. You're Sally, and I'm old Jewish woman who wants orgasm." (LA to Vegas, S01E05)
  • "The bartender didn't even card me. I might as well start wearing jackets with shoulder pads and posting on Facebook." (LA to Vegas, S01E05)
  • "Sometimes you can be condescending, oblivious, and think you're fancier than you are. You're like the sorbet of people."
    "At least I'm low-fat." (LA to Vegas, S01E05)
  • "Well, I can bring sadness on command. I've seen many people being ripped apart by horses." (LA to Vegas, S01E05)
  • "We did it at Arby's."
    "Did what?"
    "Sex, man."
    "Oh. In the restaurant?"
    "No, man, in the parking lot by the grease tanks." (Baskets, S03E03)
  • "You're destroying families with your courtesan ways!"
    "It's different with Hal. He's not a client. It's real."
    "Mother, he has a wife!"
    "Alice Cooper? That gorgon?" (Riverdale, S02E13)
  • Black-ish and Grown-ish both referencing Zoë Kravitz this week (Black-ish, S04E13 / Grown-ish, S01E07)
  • "I understand the psychology of pathetic people. Just trust me on this." (Alone Together, S01E05)
  • ♫: Phoria – "Evolve" (The Magicians, S03E05)
  • "If you're over 30 and don't have a spreadsheet of everyone you've ever met, you're behind in life." (Corporate, S01E05)
  • "I was a virgin until we had sex."
    "Oh, my God."
    "Yeah. I hated it. I'm never gonna do it again." (Corporate, S01E05)
  • "Yeah! Look at this wet hamster!" (Corporate, S01E05)
  • Post-murder "Pump Up the Jam" (The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story, S02E04)
  • Aimee Mann (The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story, S02E04)

(Channel Zero: Butcher's Block, S03E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You


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