Apology Lunch

Previously on Adam Riff™:

// Los Angeles to San Francisco

I see a sheriff's car entering the roadway and slow down. It moves behind me and flashes its lights.

Sheriff: Do you know how fast you were driving?

But everyone drives 90+ on this stretch of I-5…


I call the traffic court.

Jon: How much is the bail amount?
Clerk: $489.

Oof.

And yet, it's lower than the $538 for my rolling stop last year with no one around.

Jon: And I can avoid a point on my public record with traffic school, right?
Clerk: No. You are not eligible for traffic school.
Jon: Why not?
Clerk: You were driving 27mph over the speed limit. The maximum for traffic school is 25mph over.

[pause]

There goes my premium…


Turns out I'm not eligible for traffic school either way because you can only attend traffic school once every 18 months and I just suffered through it in December.

What if I had signed the ticket with a scrawled squiggly line like I do when asked for an e-signature? Could I contest the violation?

"Wrong mans…"

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