Previously on Adam Riff™ (Jun 2020):

// Los Angeles to San Francisco

I see a sheriff's car entering the roadway and slow down. It moves behind me and flashes its lights.

Sheriff: Do you know how fast you were driving? 90 in a 65.

But everyone drives 90+ on this stretch of I-5…

I call the traffic court.

Jon: How much is the bail amount?
Clerk: $489.

Jon: And I can avoid a point on my public record with traffic school, right?
Clerk: No. You are not eligible for traffic school.
Jon: Why not?
Clerk: You were driving 27mph over the speed limit. The maximum for traffic school is 25mph over.

There goes my premium…


I call customer service.

Jon: Why is my premium double what I paid last year?
Northern California AAA Agent: You have two points – a collision from 2018 and a speeding ticket from 2020. And because you have two points, you don't qualify for a good driver discount.

Jon: I currently live in Southern California. Might changing my address lower my premium?
Agent: Let me check.

Agent: Your premium becomes $4,398.76 in Southern California.
Jon: Oh, heh. Never mind then. I'll just pay the $3,400.00.
Agent: Uhh… This is a recorded line, on which you said you moved to Southern California, so…

It's only $1000 more than what I would have paid. The stimmy will cover $600 of that. Just a $400 mistake…

Southern California AAA Agent: With the 2018 point rolling off next year, your 2022 premium should drop to…$3540.00.


Jon's Father: KEKW. Why would you think that car insurance would be cheaper in SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA?

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