Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

40. Scrabble of my eye (Only Murders in the Building, S01E07)

Stray Observations

  • "If you ever raise your fist at me again, I'll treat you like a nigga on the street." (BMF, S01E01)
  • "She like the E.F. Hutton of crack." (BMF, S01E01)
  • "Did you draw all these dicks?"
    "People grieve in their own way." (Y: The Last Man, S01E05)
  • "But I need this software and years of data and samples – 15 years' worth – before you're too old to be reproductively interesting." (Y: The Last Man, S01E05)
  • "When you were on The View, you called me strident."
    "None of that matters now. This place is a Rachel Maddow fever dream." (Y: The Last Man, S01E05)
  • "Why this place? Your apartment seemed nice enough."
    "I didn't have enough Jim Crow-era stained glass at my place." (Y: The Last Man, S01E05)
  • "Greek guys have the best eyes." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E07)
  • Gut Milk in wine glasses (Only Murders in the Building, S01E07)
  • "He's not good for you."
    "Oh, I wasn't aware boys were supposed to be good for you." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E07)
  • "Not that I don't enjoy our hangs. The quiet and the loud ones." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E07)
  • "I made an Excel spreadsheet documenting every sexual encounter." (American Crime Story, S03E04)
  • "He's watching G.I. Jane with Chelsea, and he cannot be disturbed." (American Crime Story, S03E04)
  • "Oh, God, everything he gets me is so ugly."
    "I'll just say one word: Arkansas." (American Crime Story, S03E04)
  • "It was when he gave me the Annie Lennox CD, which, I mean, just to say it, that's completely a make-out album. Like, it's not even subtle." (American Crime Story, S03E04)
  • Vernon Jordan slapping Monica's ass (American Crime Story, S03E04)
  • "Birthdays are for children."
    "Ugh, I don't get it. Did you have a bad experience in childhood or something?"
    "I'm German. You have to bake the cake yourself." (American Crime Story, S03E04)
  • "Our first time together after the election, he was…so excited to see me that he, you know…he finished. But I didn't even notice. I mean, no one did. I went out to dinner that night with friends. When I got back home, I changed. And I, uh, assumed it was guacamole. And then I realized…"
    "Are you saving it?"
    "What? No. Ew. Don't be disgusting. I just haven't gotten any of those clothes dry-cleaned 'cause I haven't needed to wear them. What? Do you get your clothes dry-cleaned, like, every day?"
    "I just…I use Dryel." (American Crime Story, S03E04)
  • "Paula Jones. Could she help me?"
    "Help you with what? Dating within your own bloodline? (American Crime Story, S03E04)
  • "So you really think the secret to taking down Ultron is here?"
    "It's Russia, Hawkeye. Secrets were the national pastime." (What If…?, S01E08)
  • "Your countrymen never heard of PDFs?"
    "Hard copies are harder to steal, easier to destroy. But code, code is slippery, and it never dies." (What If…?, S01E08)
  • "Come on. Don't try to make this fun, Nat. My will-to-live meter is flatlining, okay?" (What If…?, S01E08)
  • "Charles Xavier" file (What If…?, S01E08)
  • "I've ruined a lot of laptops this way. It's true. Just ask S.H.I.E.L.D. IT." (What If…?, S01E08)

(What If…?, S01E08)

  • "You cannot compute the power of my will." (What If…?, S01E08)

(What If…?, S01E08)

  • "It's like I'm living with present day Randy Quaid." (Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, S02E08)
  • "Now, I'm going to take this block of CTown cholesterol and masturbate to my Wisconsin ex-boyfriend-uh!" (Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, S02E08)
  • "Surround sound, baby! Isn't it dope?"
    "Yeah! Dope!"
    "Porn sounds sick on it!"
    "Yeah, I bet!" (Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, S02E08)
  • "Who's up for some Twister?"
    "I love Twister. Helen Hunt was so good in that. You remember that sitcom Wings?" (Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, S02E08)
  • "You know how we always say that New York isn't all that?"
    "We don't always say that."
    "Yeah, well, okay, if I'm gonna be acting, I need to go where the jobs flow like a river after a storm. LA. Los Angeles. Hollywood. It's been in front of me this whole time!"
    "Oh, yeah, for sure, dude. LA. Uh, if you can make it in that city, you can make it anywhere."
    "That's in New York."
    "Yeah." (Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, S02E08)
  • "Hobbies: cocaine" (American Horror Story, S10E07)
  • "Hobbies: dealing with a breakup" (American Horror Story, S10E07)
  • "But you have sex on Saturday."
    "That doesn't seem kosher."
    "Yeah, well, I only bottom on Saturday. That way, he's the only one doing any work." (American Horror Story, S10E07)
  • "Baby, when's the last time I ate your ass?"
    "I don't know, like, a week ago?"
    "I think I have Giardia again."
    "What the fuck is Giardia?"
    "It's when you eat ass…"
    "My ass is always spotless."
    "…and you get infected with invisible microbes or some shit. It's very common. I got it once senior year of high school."
    "When you were on the down-low with the quarterback, you ate the quarterback's ass?" (American Horror Story, S10E07)
  • "My love, the first time I met you, the first time I heard you speak, I felt like I was hearing music for the first time, like the way it feels when you're 12 and you hear a song that instantly makes you into an adult."
    "Have we been watching Garden State?" (The Premise, S01E04)
  • "No, it's a fucking urban myth, like ghosts or large penises." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E06)
  • "Lars Murderbone, Orlando Sentinel." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E06)
  • "So, hearing from one of my 'goyles out in Queens…" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E06)

(What We Do in the Shadows, S03E06)

  • "Why did you yank me early?"
    "That's what she said. I just found out about that series of jokes." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E06)
  • "Poutine" Supreme shirt (Ted Lasso, S02E11)
  • "You know, we used to believe that trees competed with each other for light. Suzanne Simard's field work challenged that perception, and we now realize that the forest is a socialist community." (Ted Lasso, S02E11)
  • "Yeah, well, like my father used to say, a sad white man is still a white man." (Ted Lasso, S02E11)
  • "Let's go kill two birds with one stone."
    "All right, yeah. Let's go…murder some birds with a rock." (Ted Lasso, S02E11)
  • "I had a torrid affair with Sam."
    "You and…"
    "…uel L. Jackson?" (Ted Lasso, S02E11)
  • "And now we're in a bit of a limbo situation."
    "Great party game, horrible relationship status." (Ted Lasso, S02E11)
  • Banksy (Ted Lasso, S02E11)
  • "You spelled 'favorite' wrong." (Ted Lasso, S02E11)
  • "If you excuse me, I'm gonna go hit one of my favorite British words, and my absolute favorite Diamond Phillips, the loo." (Ted Lasso, S02E11)
  • ♫: Radiohead – "Karma Police" (Ted Lasso, S02E11)
  • "There's no such thing as a bassoon solo. That's why I chose the instrument." (Ten Year Old Tom, S01E01)
  • "I'm just trying to help, because I know bassoon players are basically celibate."
    "I think you got your facts wrong."
    "They basically live like monks. Bassoon players, they get nothing." (Ten Year Old Tom, S01E01)
  • "The whole thing's very stressful. I'm used to more of a bassoon atmosphere." (Ten Year Old Tom, S01E01)
  • "Listen, rule number one of drug deals: Don't get your mom involved." (Ten Year Old Tom, S01E01)
  • "Let's start with $6,000 worth of Klondike bars."
    "We don't keep that many Klondike bars in stock. If you buy that whole shelf, it's $40."
    "Call someone."
    "Call Klondike?"
    "What, you scared? Give me Klondike's number. I'll call them."
    "I'm not scared to call Klondike."
    "This guy's scared to call."
    "This is such a weird challenge from two children." (Ten Year Old Tom, S01E01)
  • "You're officially a man now. You sank your first ice cream truck." (Ten Year Old Tom, S01E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Underground Railroad
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two

Looking ahead:

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