Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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48. Rogers: The Musical (Hawkeye, S01E01)

Honourable Mention

  • Architectural whirlwind of emotions (How To with John Wilson, S02E01)

Stray Observations

  • "Ow, think I need to get comfy before we get it in. Let me—ooh, that is a motherfucking areola! You see the titties on that bitch?"
    "Now, what the fuck type of freaky-ass shit is this?"
    "Yo, this is a motherfuckin' mortuary, nigga." (BMF, S01E08)
  • "I love you too, boo." (BMF, S01E08)
  • "God damn, nigga, you hurting? You eating street meat instead of a Coney?" (BMF, S01E08)
  • BMF Season Grade: C
  • "Um… Some guy with an undercut just called me 'soy boy.'"
    "Oh, don't worry, Greg. It's a nice safe space where you don't have to pretend to like Hamilton." (Succession, S03E06)
  • "Hey, Shiv, is it true? You at the hate-fest fest? Burning books and measuring skulls down in Nuremberg, Virginia?" (Succession, S03E06)
  • "It's the Spätburgunder. Our vineyard! Oh, screw top." (Succession, S03E06)
  • "So, according to Steven, my prison consultant, this is…you know, this is kind of what the food is like inside. I'm in training. How's your omelet?" (Succession, S03E06)
  • "What's good is to eradicate hope. They can't get you if you got no hope." (Succession, S03E06)
  • "Okay, guys! B-day! Big, big, big four-oh. How are we looking?"
    "Shit slaps!"
    "Yeah? You think? What was—what was the one I liked?"
    "Uh…'end times'?"
    "Right."
    "Weimar meets Carthage meets Dante meets AI and…antibiotic-resistant superbugs."
    "That's kinda dope, though."
    "I mean, but aren't Zadie Smith and fucking…Chuck D and Lucas Madsen gonna come
    to my antibiotics party?" (Succession, S03E06)
  • "Your toilet can be a bastard?" (Succession, S03E06)
  • "Just keep your trap shut. Watch."
    "All right, thank you, sir. Minimizing the Greg window." (Succession, S03E06)
  • "We need one voice on this, or we could fall apart and hand it to the fuck-fuck donkey gang." (Succession, S03E06)
  • "Captain of the Tampa Bay Cuckaneers." (Succession, S03E06)
  • "He pisses pretty straight."
    "Pretty damn straight. I piss policy laser." (Succession, S03E06)
  • "I'll borrow from anyone. And, you know…if Franco or H or Travis Bickle had a good pitch, fuck it! I'm a man for all seasons."
    "Mm-hmm. 'H'?" (Succession, S03E06)
  • "Yeah. I've got some ideas for ATN, you know. Sluice out the fucking porridge and add some sriracha. Poach some of those TikTok psychos, you know? E-girls with fucking guns and Juul pods, you know? Give me some straight-shot Blacks and Latinos. No more of this fucking…pillows and bedpans, you know? We're strictly bone broth and dick pills. Deep state conspiracy hour, but with, like, a fucking wink, you know? Funny." (Succession, S03E06)
  • "Blood is the body's…"
    "Truth." (Dexter, S09E03)
  • "Hey, you think you're fucking funny, you small-dick anime virgin?!" (Dexter, S09E03)
  • ♫: Tracy Bonham – "Mother Mother" (Yellowjackets, S01E02)
  • "I'm just gonna jerk off, watch some SportsCenter before bed." (Yellowjackets, S01E02)
  • "I used to sneak downstairs after everybody had gone to bed and watch The Color of Night so I could pause it on Bruce Willis' wang." (Yellowjackets, S01E02)
  • "I'm sorry for your upcomin' loss." (Insecure, S05E05)
  • "You look like a model."
    "Aww, thanks."
    "Sorry, she's high." (Insecure, S05E05)
  • "I told you…that I slept with a student. Your secret is Waze." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E05)
  • "She gave me a spoonful of Pepto-Bismol and a fucking hand job." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E05)
  • "How do you know prayers don't work?"
    "Because I'm bald." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E05)
  • "It's interesting because you would think that having a heart attack at a country club like this, there'd be doctors around."
    "No. Only plastic surgeon here." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E05)
  • "A bald man steal umbrella!" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E05)
  • "You have to have done something stupid to be in traffic." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E05)
  • "His decision to not talk through the puppet, but instead re-create the title sequence of Caddyshack, was, to put it bluntly, a freakin' relief." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
  • "All ventriloquists are overtly Republican." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
  • "Modern ventriloquism is the oppression of puppets." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
  • "Other types of entertainment people can also be linked to particular political leanings. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that actors, for example, tend liberal, except for, of course, Ronald Reagan. Sports announcers, conservative. Magicians? Right, libertarian." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
  • USA Is Gifted (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
  • "How did you turn that guinea pig into a bowl of pico de gallo?" (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
  • "Are you a magician as well?"
    "Me? No, no. Uh, crowds are not my favorite and my fingers are bulky from climbing." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
  • "We need more women in STEM, and by that, I mean Skateboarding, Television, Esports, and Magic." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
  • "Have you checked your pockets recently? Is this your driver's license? Everyone give Bob a round of applause. You can go take a seat. So that just happened. I'd like to see God do that. We shouldn't need these things anyways. People should be able to drive at age 12. And what do we say about taxes, Dee Dee? 'Uh, that's theft, bitch.'" (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E05)
  • "Plus, they know they can BM on anything they'd like." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E06)
  • "Whoa, was that Sinbad? Not a good sign for the quality of this film." (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)


(A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)


(A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)

  • "Oh, gross. It smells like a Sharpie creampied a tire." (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
  • "Who the hell were those guys?"
    "Mutant Sinbads." (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
  • "Jamie transformed this town into an Escape From New York-, Children of Men-, 13 Going on 30-type dystopia." (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
  • "Reavers, it's time to feast! We have the meats!"
    "Wait, why are you saying the tag line from Arby's? Do-do they still have Arby's in the Jingleverse?"
    "What the fuck is an Arby's? That's just what I say." (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
  • "Aah! Snowflakes, sugar plums, uh, shitty orange chocolate." (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
  • "Reavers, it's time to feast! Where's the beef?"
    "Okay, you have to know that tag line's from Wendy's. It's-it's like the most famous one." (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
  • Palpatine (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
  • "This blood tastes like Christmas." (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
  • Greg Burrito (A Very Solar Christmas Opposites Special, 22 Nov 21)
  • "When was the last time you took me out for a nice dinner and a murder?" (Chucky, S01E07)
  • "Aren't you a little young to have seen Bound?" (Chucky, S01E07)
  • NYC Larpers (Hawkeye, S01E02)
  • "Hey, look, that one's you."
    "No. That's Katniss Everdeen." (Hawkeye, S01E02)
  • "It was getting very hard to find place. Now, all the warehouses are being converted into lofts, so how can I get something better?" (Hawkeye, S01E02)
  • "Come on! Where is Kate Bishop?"
    "Bro, I found her." (Hawkeye, S01E02)
  • "'Yeah, what—what's his dick size, though?' 'I'm curious about that, too.' It's medium." (South Side, S02E07)
  • ♫: Terry Presume – "Swimming" (South Side, S02E07)
  • "Can you tell me where the bathroom is, please?"
    "Uh, past the frog leg, left of the Criss Angel: Mindfreak DVDs."
    "Okay. Thanks."
    "Pee-pee only!"
    "Thanks for fitting us in, Hoodoo Man. Really appreciate that."
    "Yes, I had an unforeseen cancellation, which I saw, but you are fortunate. My readings are sacred. I had Larenz Tate come through that door just the other day."
    "Really?"
    "Yeah, he was looking for 6307 South Carpenter. That's where his brother lives. This is 6703 Carpenter, so he came in. I was like, 'I knew you would come, Larenz Tate. Your brother Lahmard has many friends who have made the same mistake.'" (South Side, S02E08)
  • "You know, my daddy, uh…he still works the night shift at the helicopter factory. I don't have the resources to help him get out of that job. Every night, he's ducking and dodging blades." (South Side, S02E08)
  • "No more play! No more play!"
    "Excuse me. Are they saying, 'No more play' or 'No, more play'?" (South Side, S02E08)
  • "Okay, honestly, that could be anything. That could be a brick. That could be a tree. That could be a-a loose bag of garbage, like that guy, Tom Skilling, on channel, uh, WGN. He's terrible." (South Side, S02E08)
  • "Hey, Bixby, call Itty Bitty Kitty Committee."
    "You have got it, my main man. Giving Kattandra a holler."
    "I got it set to ethnic." (South Side, S02E09)
  • "Say less. Switching to vibrate."
    "Bixby got, Bixby got a mind of his own." (South Side, S02E09)
  • "I'm putting the 15-minute break on my back, because Chicago is working its people to death."
    "Take Jamal Agin here. Black homie from the South Side. What are you? 47 years old?"
    "I'm 29 years old."
    "No. Unh-unh. You see what's happening here? Black is starting to crack." (South Side, S02E09)
  • "I want to make sure that people say, 'Hey, go to Chicago. They're on break.'"
    "You definitely got the youth vote. TikTok." (South Side, S02E09)
  • "You're not a police priority. Trust me, I know."
    "How come I'm not? Run my plates. I'm armed and dangerous."
    "No. Sweetie, you ain't even an all-pro fugitive."
    "Notorious for peeing on stuff." (South Side, S02E09)
  • "Pizza is the opiate of the people." (South Side, S02E09)
  • "Don't look at my coat."
    "Yeah, nice mink."
    "That's 11 cats." (South Side, S02E09)
  • "Holy shit. It's like the five families. South Side. Mexican South Side. West Side. Gold Coast Viagra Triangle. Uh…hmm… Glasses, bow tie, pocket square. I'm gonna guess, uh, Humboldt Park. No. Wicker Park. Wicker—Park Ridge? Oak Park? Lincoln Park?"
    "No, that's the CEO of Pequod's Pizza." (South Side, S02E09)
  • Chance the Rapper (South Side, S02E10)
  • "I'm-a use that to become a reality mogul like Soulja Boy and Shad Moss. First, I'm-a go on A&E. 60 Days In, then after that, I'm going on Love After Lockup and Life After Lockup, then Locked Up Abroad, because, you know, I like to travel."
    "Uh-huh."
    "Then after that, Hoarders, because now I got a problem."
    "Mm."
    "And then, when it's all said and done, I think I'm-a let Iyanla fix my life." (South Side, S02E10)
  • "In Air Bud, haters tried to stop a beautiful golden retriever from playing basketball, to which the referee's response was, 'Ain't no rules that say dogs can't play basketball.' So he did. And that's what we wanna do."
    "Mm. We invoke the Air Bud Rule."
    "Ma'am, I can't argue with the Air Bud Rule." (South Side, S02E10)
  • ♫: Jack Red – "Homegrown" (South Side, S02E10)
  • South Side Season Grade: C
  • Blade Runner geisha (South Park: Post COVID, 25 Nov 21}
  • "Guys, this is my wife, Yentl." (South Park: Post COVID, 25 Nov 21}
  • Written by Susan Orlean (How To with John Wilson, S02E01}

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Underground Railroad
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: What We Do in the Shadows

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