// Las Vegas, NV
I always regret all-you-can-eat sushi.
All-you-can-eat sushi is cruel and unusual punishment.
You're literally killing people with kindness.
"Can I see identification?"
While cashing out chips, I discover that I left my wallet at the craps machine I was gambling at.
The cashier doesn't let me run back to the craps machine to check for my wallet because I could be trying to defraud the casino.
A security officer arrives.
Security Officer: What's your name?
Me: Jonathan Yu.
Security Officer: Oh, we just picked up your wallet! We share the same birthday: October 6, 1982.
Me: Huh. The exact same.
I study his visible head.
Who looks older? Black don't crack, but Asian don't raisin.
Cashier: There was $155 in your wallet when we found it. For me to return it, I need you to sign this form.
Me: Uh… Do you have $2 bills? $4 of that $155 was two $2 bills.
Cashier: Let me check.
Cashier: This case is so fresh that I can return the same bills that were in your wallet!
The most luck I had this trip.
I enter an elevator containing an Asian lad wearing a Lil Nas X hoodie.
Lil Nas X has merch?
A young Asian man approaches me.
"Excuse me, do you have a minute?"
"Have you heard of the female image of God?"
Bruh. We're in a Vegas resort and casino. Do you have to do this now?