Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

51. Soul Coughing (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E06)

Honourable Mention

  • Irma eating bruschetta (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
  • Kate and Yelena (Hawkeye, S01E05)

Stray Observations

  • "You're thinking every bit of me wants to tell this…slab of gravlax to go fuck himself." (Succession, S03E09)
  • "Um… You kind of tried to kill yourself, dude, and that's not cool."
    "I fell off an inflatable." (Succession, S03E09)
  • "I guess through her dad, she's, like, eighth in line for the throne of Luxembourg?"
    "Eighth in line? Greg, you marry her, you're a plane crash away from becoming Europe's weirdest king!"
    "Don't be silly."
    "Dude, you off a couple of hemophiliacs and you'll be the king of Luxembourg. You'd sound like a fancy cookie." (Succession, S03E09)
  • "Dad's putting together a more adhesive and potent gloop."
    "Working on his fucking…his jism?" (Succession, S03E09)
  • "I have some beef with Greenpeace." (Succession, S03E09)
  • "I mean, who hasn't clipped the odd kid with a Porsche, am I right?" (Succession, S03E09)
  • "I'm not sure I wanna pull out a move like that. Maybe I just stick with what I got."
    "Which is what? Hard drive full of dick pics?" (Succession, S03E09)
  • "Say hello to someone who could be Logan's ex-wife's step-cousin-in-law and heir apparent to the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg. 12 times removed or some shit. And potential count of somewhere and legitimate claimant to the dormant throne of Italy."
    "What, Greg?"
    "Me and the contessa. We're hitting it off. She's having an existential crisis about her personal branding and I'm right in there to wheedle away." (Succession, S03E09)
  • "Do you want a deal with the devil?"
    "Well… What am I gonna do with a soul anyways?" (Succession, S03E09)
  • "What have you got in your fucking hand?"
    "What have I got? I don't know, fucking…love?
    "Love? You come for me…with love?" (Succession, S03E09)
  • Succession Season Grade: B
  • "I've always loved that quote from the movie Magnolia. Um, 'We may be through with the past, but the past isn't through with us.'"
    "Yeah, I didn't see that one." (Dexter, S09E06)
  • "It's never good to kill the family member of a serial killer." (Dexter, S09E06)
  • "The people who matter recognize Daria, okay?" (Yellowjackets, S01E05)
  • "Call me when you're ready to shake Misty down for Motrin." (Yellowjackets, S01E05)
  • ♫: BIA – "SKATE" (Insecure, S05E08)
  • "Hi, welcome. Walk tall, be Black. Hi. Love Blackly, walk safely, okay? Ooh, and welcome to you, too. Yes, totally rad that you're here." (Insecure, S05E08)
  • ♫: Vince Staples – "Are You With That?" (Insecure, S05E08)
  • Ty Dolla Sign (Insecure, S05E08)
  • "Wanted for armed robbery, armed battery, and stealin' medieval armor from the Excalibur." (Insecure, S05E08)
  • "Yeah, I'd like the bruschetta."
    "The bruschetta, you got it."
    "I would advise against that."
    "You get little bits of tomato on a piece of hard bread. They pile it up…"
    "You take a bite it all falls, they're very structurally unsound. Can you bring an extra layer of bread for the bruschetta?"
    "That would just be a tomato sandwich." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
  • "Little Women?"
    "I cannot stand those March sisters. Boy, do they get on my nerves."
    "What about them gets on your nerves?"
    "The giggling all the time, making jam, getting under the blanket and cozying up with Marmee. Oh, they're all so talented in their own right. A writer, and a musician, and an artist. And one, of course, has to be an actor. Is there no creative realm these sisters can't conquer?" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
  • "Ooh, I got, like, a bubble here. You got any Gas-X?"
    "Leon, is there anything you have that might disperse the bubble?" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
  • "What the fuck, man? You're in a bad spot, Larry. Gotta tap that ass under duress? That's the worst."
    "Have you ever tapped someone under duress?"
    "Course I have. My uncle passed away unexpectedly. So, I had to tap this cougar at this mortuary. Got a half off that coffin."
    "I hope this turns out as successful as your dead uncle's coffin." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
  • "You like Little Women?"
    "Fucking love 'em. I stack two on top of each other, make 'em one whole women. Tap that ass." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
  • "I don't like anything unnatural near my lymph." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
  • "Come and sit beside me."
    "I'd love to except I bruised my testicle getting off the Peloton." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
  • "So, then I found out his name was Tannenbaum. I played the Jew card, I couldn't believe it. It worked like a charm."
    "You gotta play those fucking cards. I'm telling you, man."
    "Imagine if he was bald, what I could've done?"
    "I got a whole fucking deck of cards. I… I got the Black card, I got the handsome card, the tall card, the Big Johnson card…" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E08)
  • "It feels like, as a guy who's lost a certain amount of hair, I was expected to get into woodworking." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E09)
  • "Look at us. No kid deserves this." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E09)
  • "Well, I got my license back, so I'm gonna go take the family for a drive."
    "Nice. Good time of year for that."
    "Yeah. It is nice. It's my favorite activity, and I'm never gonna drink and drive ever again."
    "Okay." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S03E09)
  • Joe Pera Talks With You Season Grade: C
  • Sriracha (Hawkeye, S01E05)
  • "The trail of blood that follows him, it could wrap around the entire world."
    "Okay. Wow. That was very Russian." (Hawkeye, S01E05)
  • Coin trick callback (Hawkeye, S01E05)
  • "Do we look like Royal Tenenbaums?" (Hawkeye, S01E05)
  • "It's bad enough the Mayor made us come in on L.A. Christmas Eve."
    "Christmas Eve? It's the 22nd."
    "Yeah, exactly, it's the three to seven days before Christmas when everyone leaves to go celebrate someplace human." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "♪ And it's hard as a crotch out in Sherman Oaks ♪" (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "Hey, sorry to interrupt, but can either of you think of a Christmas-y word that rhymes with 'horchata'?"
    "Not now, Jayden."
    "It's a little bent, but I'll try it." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "No, Spirit Airlines. The one time I need you to be trash, you're on time?" (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "Sorry, but I'm catching my flight to PA, and then I'm going to the Wawa where Mare of Easttown and my cousin Nico were shot." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "I want someone to make snide comments with or kiss under the mistletoe, our breath rich with Andes mints and ham." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "There's definitely an energy between you. Like, you're the two hottest people at a Rite Aid, and you know it." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "Hey, tell your boss this is like a baby saying curse words – not cute, not funny." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "Do you like this time of year?"
    "Parts of it. Pfeffernuesse, that Mariah Carey song, 'Touch My Body.'" (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "Patrick is in love with you, and now you get to do what Keira Knightley couldn't pull off back in the day, and I don't mean low-rise jeans with a bralette." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "Glad to hear it, my new friend… Oh, God, what's his name? I know it's a kind of salad. Caprese." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "He's about to guess Orly's favorite restaurant."
    "Is it Matsuhisa Aspen?"
    "Yeah, but isn't that everyone's favorite restaurant? Sorry, I hear it." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "She's a retired ballerina. Her breasts got too large to continue dancing." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "Arpi, yes, yes, run to him! Run as fast as your bone density allows!" (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "All I wanted to do was get home to my Lola, sit on her plastic-covered couch, and eat bibingka together, and this was my last chance. She's not dying, I just plan on doing keto in the new year." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "That woman thinks everything you did today was romantic because she's been brainwashed by some British people. What you did today is not romantic, it's weird. And Love Actually sounds like a deeply problematic movie. One of the stories is Bilbo Baggins shooting a porno on Christmas." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "Giving a good gift isn't about what you want. It's about what the recipient wants."
    "Of course. Oh, my God, it's like sex." (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "♪ There's a fist fight at the Trader Joe's on Vine ♪" (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "♪ Grab a Pink's hot dog / Drink a twink's eggnog ♪" (Mr. Mayor, S01E10)
  • "I'm one wet wipe away from being your MILF." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
  • "I dig it here, man. Yeah, you know, you get all the comforts of Philly. You got drunks, you got Irish people, you got, um…I guess that's the same thing." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
  • "Lucky for you, I happen to have experience covering up blunt force trauma." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
  • "We're into all the same shit. Um, cheese, ghouls…" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
  • "Everybody was on the island that weekend. Jizzaline…" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
  • "He didn't do anything with the kids, but he was really into the manatees, which, by the way, also got very sexual."
    "Frank, can you, can you just stop talking about sexual things with manatees?"
    "The following year, he doesn't show up, the manatee's all bent out of shape. I mean, this manatee was so depressed, she actually swam into a boat propeller. Boom! Blammo! Mantacide." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
  • "Am I to believe that you're a natural redhead and yet there's no odor?" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
  • "That's not rubbish. It's, uh, shredded documents from a sex island." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
  • "Give me a chance, please. I can still be an obnoxious American mom you'd like to F!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
  • "I don't trade roles for sex."
    "Oh, goddamn feminists ruin everything." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
  • "The role is 'abused wife.'"
    "Is it Abused Wife Number One?" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
  • "Oh, my God, I'm on a call sheet! That's my name! I can't believe this! I'm gonna be an abused wife!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E05)
  • Dee can't pour Guinness (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E06)
  • Frank trying to suck a seed out of his teeth (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E06)
  • "♪ And I am Frank, and I factor in somehow ♪ Aw, I shouldn't have used a screw." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E06)
  • "Oh, Father, look, I-I've been S'ing and F'ing my way through life for far too long. I think it's time that I started sucking down the words of the Bible. And instead of looking for pieces of ass, I'd just look for peace." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E06)
  • "I will S and F him into oblivion." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E06)
  • "I'm talking to the castle."
    "You're talking to the castle?" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S15E06)
  • "You can theorize all you want on changing events that happened in the past, but I promise you…I fuck that pangolin every single time." (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
  • "You people need to stop trying to change the past! COVID happened. Space Jam 2 happened." (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
  • "Oh, Jesus, like the future needs another fucking pho shop." (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
  • "If Butters wants to pitch investments, he might go to one of those co-working coffee flex spaces. That's where his biggest targets will hang out." (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
  • "It's the future. You can't just sell food to people. You lure your customers in with some good pancakes and french fries, and then you…fuck 'em with some NFTs!" (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
  • "Here. It's a farting rainbow with Tom Brady's signature." (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
  • "Jesus, I feel like an Islamic hooker in a gay bar – totally normal and as respectable as any other human being." (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
  • "The pandemic happened and they made Space Jam 2. Soon, there will be a Space Jam 6 and 7, and 8. Like tears…in rain." (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
  • "Kenny just won the Nobel Prize for combining dark matter and breast implants!" (South Park: Post COVID: The Return of COVID, 17 Dec 21)
  • Receipt printing (Station Eleven, S01E01)
  • Navy Pier (Station Eleven, S01E01)
  • ♫: Bob Dylan – "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right" (Station Eleven, S01E01)
  • ♫: The jam at 34:30 (Station Eleven, S01E02)
  • "When mankind first looked up to the stars, mankind thought: non-linear delivery options…what are those things?" (Station Eleven, S01E03)
  • ♫: Etta James – "I'd Rather Go Blind" (Station Eleven, S01E03)
  • "Uh, Jay Leno is the reincarnation of Molière" (How To with John Wilson, S02E04)
  • "Iguana Belts w/ Head" (How To with John Wilson, S02E04)
  • "And I apologize with my whole heart, base to tip, so you have to forgive me." (MacGruber, S01E01)
  • "I don't mind that you put your penis in Vicki's vagina, but put it in her heart too."
    "You got it, Mac." (MacGruber, S01E01)
  • "Ain't nothing but a MacG thing." (MacGruber, S01E01)
  • "There's only one person in the world who knows where Brimstone is, and his name rhymes with 'fuck you-ber.'" (MacGruber, S01E02)
  • "You're tying play me like a blank CD, but we all know what happens to blank CDs – they get burned." (MacGruber, S01E02)
  • "Go fuck yourself."
    "Another home run. Have you been working on these?"
    "I sure have, and I don't accept your compliment." (MacGruber, S01E02)
  • "They asked him to do a suicide mission, and he RSVP'd, 'Yass, queen.'" (MacGruber, S01E02)
  • "Oh, he was such a giving partner. He never wanted me to have to do any of the work. Sometimes he would even tell me to not talk so he could picture something. Probably just the two of us on a hike or swimming at the Y. We would build to this crescendo, and he would generously finish for the both of us, and then use the restroom. Be in there for a while. Then he would come, and in his best Jim Carrey voice, he would say, 'Do not go in there.' He would shake my hand, ask me to leave, and then hug me with one arm. It was pure bliss." (MacGruber, S01E02)
  • "You're better than this. Be best. Be best." (MacGruber, S01E02)
  • "I cannot wait to tell Queeth about it, right before I rip out his throat and take a major dump down his neck. You know what that's called, huh? An 'upper-necker.'" (MacGruber, S01E02)
  • "He always wanted to pull out someone's eyes." (MacGruber, S01E02)

(MacGruber, S01E02)

  • "I've been sitting around waiting for some Prince Charming when all along, my Shrek has been standing right in front of me the whole time." (MacGruber, S01E03)
  • "Yeah, I'm at your 11:00. Sorry, Central Standard Time." (MacGruber, S01E04)

The New AR™TV World Drama Champion: Succession
The New AR™TV World Comedy Champion: How To with John Wilson

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