"No. I just started a job. I can't ditch it four days in for a parade."
"I'm dreading work tomorrow. Per a directive from the CEO, I'm to cold-call people and peddle discounts on gift cards – gift cards for a steakhouse chain. Seems desperate and inefficient to me, but what do I know? I'm just the temp."
"Oh. Can I borrow a dress shirt or two? I'm already out of 'business casual' shirts to wear."
"Wait, you own more Blink-182 shirts than dress shirts?"
"Well, I only own one dress shirt… The other shirts are polo shirts from high school."
"OH MY GAWD! Stop being such a cheap Jew!"