Heroin Skateboards

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STEVE BALLMER SHARES FACTS AND DATA ON AN ALL-NEW FOX SPECIAL

JUST THE FACTS WITH STEVE BALLMER
THURSDAY, AUGUST 1, 9:00 PM-10:00 PM ON FOX

Want to know the facts on immigration, federal taxes and spending?

Steve Ballmer, former Microsoft CEO and current owner of LA Clippers basketball team, shares facts and data, you make up your own mind!

[pause]

Just the Facts with Steve Ballmer is a paid program by USA Facts.

[googles "usa facts wikipedia"]

USAFacts was founded by Steve Ballmer. [source]

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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30. Gojira × 'toin (Paris 2024 Olympics Opening Ceremony, 26 Jul 2024)

Stray Observations

  • "What are they?"
    "Humanity's worst impulses harnessed into hilts and blades."
    "What'd these guys do, raid Nic Cage's garage?" (Marvel's Hit-Monkey, S02E03)
  • "48 hours of physical form. Turn it on or off as you see fit."
    "Oh, so it's like TiVo."
    "It's not like TiVo." (Marvel's Hit-Monkey, S02E03)

Jorkin Depeanus

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Jurassic World Bubbles Up Jimmy Buffett Figure

Jurassic World fans and Parrotheads alike fondly remember Jimmy Buffett's cameo "saving" two margaritas as dimorphodons attack and swarm Jurassic World attendees.

• Margarita glass lights up and plays music when you turn the base

• Authentic sounds including whirring blender and swarming dimorphodons

• Figure holds two drink glasses; we included a "lost shaker of salt" accessory

• Premium margarita blender packaging structure with custom artwork

Who is this for?

Who is in the center of the Venn diagram of action figure collectors, Jurassic World fans, and Parrotheads?

Mattel should make this a series.

An action figure of Zara's death in Jurassic World.

An action figure of the toilet death in Jurassic Park.

An action figure of the gymnastics save in The Lost World.

A Marxist and Luciferian incantation

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[pause]

The luxury health food chain has featured a drink on its menu for about a year that contains raw beef organs mixed with kefir, breast milk, maple syrup, and berries.

Raw beef organs with breast milk?

Oh, they updated the story, replacing "breast milk" with "colostrum (first milk following calf birth)."

Raw beef organs with PRE-breast milk.

Kefir and colostrum ice cream with maple whipped cream, raw beef organ sprinkles, and a berry on top.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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29. Crouching Jedi, Hidden Sith (The Acolyte, S01E08)

Stray Observations

  • "To the discontented, rumors are feed." (House of the Dragon, S02E05)
  • "Tell Lady Vengeance to calm down, I got an idea." (Marvel's Hit-Monkey, S02E02)
  • "See you in hell, Jedi." (The Acolyte, S01E08)
  • </The Acolyte, S01>
  • "Hughie, I asked you something."
    "Fine. I'll-I'll, um… I'll go to the topless steakhouse for you." (The Boys, S04E08)
  • </The Boys, S04>
  • "Do not fuck up."
    "Oh, good thing I only fuck down." (Kite Man: Hell Yeah!, S01E01)
  • "Are you serious? Beyoncé?"
    "I know. She's the albino Matrix twins of music." (Kite Man: Hell Yeah!, S01E02)
  • "This iced tea and lemonade mixture is divine. Reminds me of my favorite golfer, Trevino. Lee Trevino. A round of Lee Trevinos for everyone." (Kite Man: Hell Yeah!, S01E02)

Desperation as riot control

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// Las Vegas, NV

Similar to how Jason Bourne was able to use the planned demolition of the Riviera to their advantage and feature a thrilling SWAT BearCat crash through the casino floor, Con Air was able to use the scheduled demolition of the Sands and feature a plane crashing and sliding through the Las Vegas Strip, ultimately ending up in the Sands lobby. [source]

The Mirage closes today, with its iconic volcano set for demolition. Just saying.

Chud Meridian

on

As if books have never been banned in real life.

A reluctant leader heads up a team of seven Christians intent on smuggling Bibles to underground churches in a future America where the Bible is illegal and danger is around every corner. [source]

Christians want to be victims so badly…