I wear this crooked crown • Adam Riff™

I saw three "Halloween Headquarters" along a mile-long stretch of El Camino today.

I need to settle on a Halloween costume that will sufficiently weird out parents escorting trick-or-treaters. I've whittled my ideas down to three:

Green Man

Doyle McPoyle (tighty whities not pictured)

Jonathan Papelbox (Spandex not pictured)

I've noticed a lot of Bud Light in photos of MLB post-season celebrations.