Steel Peony

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:

The action-adventure show features the most heroic and iconic vehicles from the DC universe as they defend Gotham City alongside Batman, Robin, Batgirl and other DC heroes.

The action adventure series will portray the secret adventures of [Shaq]'s collection of cars and trucks, with each having unique skills like musical stylings, Shaq Fu and their mastery of the ultra-secret language of Shaqanese and the Shaqtionary.

I'd say that children's entertainment nowadays is creatively bankrupt, but I grew up watching Police Academy: The Animated Series and Hammerman.

At least build around a celebrity who is known for his car collection, like John Cena.

Mario Karts animated series when?

Meanwhile, on Prime Video:

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

43. R.I.P. Quibi 2020-2020 (50 States of Fright, S01E02)

For posterity.

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "Grief. That's my wealth. My first wife, we were so in love. When I dug her grave, it was raining. I'd already buried nine of our children. Can you imagine that much grief? I'm a rich man. " (The Good Lord Bird, S01E03)
  • "Howdy, Fred."
    "You address me as Fred?"
    "Mr. Fred."
    "Do you know that you are not talking to a pork chop, but rather a fairly considerable and incorrigible piece of the American Negro diaspora?" (The Good Lord Bird, S01E03)
  • "Would you like to sit with me on this love seat while I further explain to you the plight of our people?" (The Good Lord Bird, S01E02)
  • ♫: The Redemption Harmonizers – "Amazing Grace" (The Good Lord Bird, S01E03)
  • "You bound me from magic."
    "Not just you. Every white person in the world. […] Magic is ours now." (Lovecraft Country, S01E10)
  • "'He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness.'" (Lovecraft Country, S01E10)
  • Cyborg Dee (Lovecraft Country, S01E10)
  • Lovecraft Country Season Grade: C
  • "Can I get a 'mm-hmm'?" (Fargo, S04E05)
  • "Neck-deep in liquor and syphilis." (Fargo, S04E05)
  • "You know why America loves a crime story? Because America is a crime story. But here's the rub: When we hear a crime story, who do we root for? Not the poor sap that got taken. The victim, no. We root for the taker. The guy with the gat. See, this country loves a man who takes what he wants. Unless… Unless that man looks like you. Capisce? See, Johnny Society looks at me, they see a fella that's using crime to get ahead. But you? All they see is crime. And that's why you're gonna lose. 'Cause I can take all the money and pussy I want and still run for president. But you? It's always gonna be the rope." (Fargo, S04E05)
  • "I like cake." (Fargo, S04E05)
  • "Your life or hers. One of 'em's getting ruined." (Fargo, S04E05)
  • "masticating savory vittles" (Fargo, S04E05)
  • "Give some indication you understand the English language." (Fargo, S04E05)
  • Draped in an octopus (The Third Day, S01E06)
  • The Third Day Season Grade: C
  • "What is SACRARIO?"
    "One of the biggest Clubs 27 on Earth. There's about 50,000 dead men in there." (We Are Who We Are, S01E06)
  • Election night 2016 (We Are Who We Are, S01E06)
  • "If you're so damn American, maybe you should ask your people why they keep fucking you over to hire us. Maybe it's you that doesn't belong here." (Warrior, S02E04)
  • "When you're ready, come and fine me. I'll be the chink in the fancy fucking suit." (Warrior, S02E04)
  • "You could pose the same question in two, uh, different environments and receive wildly different answers. You could ask a question to a philosopher…"
    —"Do you think mankind is gonna make a comeback?"
    "But that same question, uh, might get a much different answer at WrestleMania."
    —"Do you think Mankind is gonna make a comeback?" (How To with John Wilson, S01E01)
  • "What do you, uh, what do you do?"
    "Uh, I catch child predators. If you wanna look me up, it's Mr. 17540 on Facebook. That's what I do in my spare time."
    "You catch child predators?" (How To with John Wilson, S01E01)
  • Kyle MacLachlan unsuccessfully swiping a MetroCard (How To with John Wilson, S01E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: P-Valley
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: What We Do in the Shadows

I've adjusted my focus, I'm getting into knives

on

Dying at "topped with a thick layer of chopped salad." The only instance of that phrase in the history of the English language?

Enjoy with a can of

Honest Thief

Vegan alert:
Tom hates the "health cookies" that his girlfriend makes.

I stumbled upon a Letterboxd user who includes "vegan alerts" and "vegan points" in her reviews:

Shithouse

Vegan alert:
Something horrific happens to an animal.

Vegan points:
Writing a letter to a turtle.

The Forty-Year-Old Version

Vegan alert:
-Reference to ribs
-Agent said he likes silken robes

Vegan points:
-Soy milk is used as a plot device. It signified gentrification, but it didn't go into detail about the dangers of dairy and why someone might want to choose a non-dairy option (allergies, concern about animal abuse, etc.).
-The rap that references salami and bacon talks about the meats in a negative way.

Ingrid Goes West

Vegan alert:
-Ingrid wears a double egg shirt
-Butter and egg pics on Insta
-Ingrid lets a dog eat Cheetos

The Glorias

Vegan alert:
-Dad (Timothy Hutton) offers Gloria another egg roll
-Sign for corned beef at the diner where Gloria orders hot fudge sundae

A Paris Education

Vegan alert:
-Talking about how crocodiles look mean at the nature preserve

Scare Me

Vegan alert:
-Cheese on pizza

The Human Voice

Vegan alert:
-Axes have a leather cover
-Tilda Swinton tells the dog to shut up

Lost Girls and Love Hotels

Vegan alert:
Margaret (Alexandra Daddario) asks if they're going to eat screaming baby or bacon.

Zoom Dick Incident

on

During a trip to the Warner Bros. studio, NBA Superstar LeBron James and his son accidently get trapped within a world that contains all of Warner Bros.' stories and characters, under the control of a malfunctioning, all-powerful force named Al G (played by Don Cheadle).

With the help of Bugs Bunny, LeBron must navigate through a never-before-imagined world filled with iconic movie scenes and characters as they re-assemble the Looney Tunes to rescue his lost son.

Now to get back home, LeBron and the Tunes have to unravel Al G's mysterious plan and win an epic basketball game against digital gamified super-versions of the NBA and WNBA's biggest stars as the entire world watches.

So…Warner Bros.' Ready Player One × Warner Bros.' Stay Tuned.

Rory: Warner Bros.' Kingdom Hearts.

LeBron should show up in the Snyder Cut with no explanation, and then in Space Jam 2, you see how/why he showed up.

LeBron stands in for Green Lantern?

The Stay Tuned adaptation should be a Netflix series with Roy and Helen trapped in Netflix.

Whoosh, my head is severed

on

With consumer demand for hotel rooms down on weekdays, Encore Las Vegas decided to reduce its hours starting on Monday, October 19. That's when the resort closes at 2 p.m. on Mondays and reopens at 2 p.m. on Thursdays.

The reduced hours also affect the restaurants and bars at Encore.

Customers can check into the resort at 2 p.m. on Thursdays and must depart by noon on Mondays. [source]

Something something Broadway flop.

Has Wynn Resorts courted television productions?

Love Island shot in a production bubble at The Cromwell and Rio. Shark Tank shot in a production bubble at The Venetian/Palazzo. Daily Wager shoots at The LINQ. Hell's Kitchen will shoot at Caesars Palace.

Surely some reality show would shoot at Encore Beach Club or XS.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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42. Furious and Fast (The Good Lord Bird, S01E02)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "Whizzes is extra." (The Good Lord Bird, S01E02)
  • "Coloreds turn the tables on one another all the time, just like white folks. The only difference is the white man put his treachery on paper. Coloreds put theirs in their mouth." (The Good Lord Bird, S01E02)
  • "No, I'll be back for you, Onion. You got to trust me. And you find us when the fight is done."
    "How? Where will you be?"
    "We'll be the only ones left drawing breath." (The Good Lord Bird, S01E02)
  • "Had you succeeded, the streets would run red with blood."
    "You have no problem with blood unless it's the blood of white folks." (The Good Lord Bird, S01E02)
  • ♫: Nina Simone – "I Shall Be Released" (The Good Lord Bird, S01E02)
  • "Onion, have you kept your nakedness covered?" (The Good Lord Bird, S01E02)
  • "The computer needs a motherboard to give it instructions."
    "What's a motherboard?"
    "Me. I'm-a jack into the machine." (Lovecraft Country, S01E09)
  • "Look at the nigger faggots." (Lovecraft Country, S01E09)
  • "I took your bullshit, your beatings, your berating, forgave Mama and Uncle George for not protecting me from your ass, now—'cause I thought you was my father." (Lovecraft Country, S01E09)
  • "Thomas won't mean much. He's just the first in a long list of sacrifices I made to be your father." (Lovecraft Country, S01E09)
  • "When my great-great grandson is born, he will be my faith turned to flesh." (Lovecraft Country, S01E09)
  • ♫: Sonia Sanchez – "Catch the Fire" (Lovecraft Country, S01E09)
  • "On the street I hear this phrase. You know this phrase: 'American values.' And I think, 'What does it mean?' Financial values I understand. Money. What a thing is worth. Human values, this also makes sense. The Things we love. Family, i bambini… But this American values: land of the free, home of the brave, this I don't know. And then I learn the history of this country. Your slavery, the smallpox in the blankets, how you stole the land from the natives. And I realize…to be an American is to pretend. You pretend to be one thing when really you are something else." (Fargo, S04E04)
  • ♫: Jeff Russo – "Little Drummer Boy" (Fargo, S04E04)
  • "Sell 200 to Mort Kellerman." (Fargo, S04E04)
  • "I'll be a minute." [grunts rhythmically]
    "Is this the minute?" (Fargo, S04E04)
  • "'I don't believe in God…' Do you know why you don't? Because you're a little…sheep. A little sheep who goes along with all her little friends, wearing the same clothes, swapping Pokémons, and…looking at stupid little screens." (The Third Day, S01E05)
  • "You're a believer then."
    "Nah. Not like these people, but I do know when a place is special."
    [chuckles] "You're a believer. Places aren't special. They're just places." (The Third Day, S01E05)
  • ♫: Florence and the Machine – "Dog Days Are Over" (The Third Day, S01E05)
  • They're descendants of Jack the Ripper? (The Third Day, S01E05)
  • "Michiko Kakutani." (We Are Who We Are, S01E05)
  • "Dev Hynes isn't just a musical genius." (We Are Who We Are, S01E05)
  • "All the most creative people were bullied in school." (We Are Who We Are, S01E05)
  • "This is not what I had in mind for you."
    "Surprise, I exist outside of your mind." (We Are Who We Are, S01E05)
  • Ouija: Origin of Evil (We Are Who We Are, S01E05)
  • "These days, fathers only matter to those who don't have one." (We Are Who We Are, S01E05)
  • "Be grateful for your pain. Means you're still alive." (Warrior, S02E03)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: P-Valley
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: What We Do in the Shadows

Morphogenetic Sorrow

on

Jumbo
When the new amusement park attraction, The Move It, arrives at the local carnival where she works, Jeanne's life is forever changed. With Jumbo, her pet-name for the twirling machine, what's not to love? He's pretty, fun and single. But how can they be happy when the world around them doesn't understand?

Can a misfit girl fall in love with a carnival ride?

A 25-foot-tall carnival ride seduces the amusement park janitor as she spit-cleans his bulbs.

An erotic scene between Jeanne and Jumbo drips with oil. Kudos to cinematographer Thomas Buelens for lighting the ripples as Jeanne licks a spill.

Objectophilia — lust for the inanimate — is real. In 2013, a Florida woman married a Ferris Wheel named Bruce, after a three-decade courtship. More famously, objectum sexuality spokeswoman Erika Eiffel, took her spouse's last name, and when she separated from the Parisian tower, rebounded with the Berlin Wall.

Jeanne's cellphone nearly causes her to slip off her boyfriend's fulcrum before the machine lowers her down like Superman rescuing Lois Lane.

With Margarette lamenting that her vibrator would have made a better father than Jeanne's mystery dad, can she blame her daughter for swooning over a pylon?

This year there have been three thrillers that share the same moniker: Vladislav Khesin's Alone; John Hyams' Alone; and Johnny Martin’s Alone.

Hyams' Alone is the remake of a Swedish thriller called Gone but, in an ironic twist, those involved with the film opted to zero in on a new title because they felt there were too many films with that title already.

They settled on Alone, and it wasn't that long ago when Hyams logged on to Facebook to see a friend of his, Martin, promoting his own thriller called Alone. The two titles are being released within weeks of one another.

"Hopefully we all benefit from having the same title."

Hyams is alone in his reaction. The other filmmakers did not respond to requests for comment. [source]

Blue Bird Lamentation

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Look at this fucking packaging for Oreo mooncakes:

I thought that was cheese ice cream at first.

It tickles me that crackers named "Ritz" are paired with peanut butter and processed cheese.

Stern created the name Ritz, which appealed to individuals suffering in the Great Depression, offering them "a bite of the good life." [source]

Buttery stimulus checks.

Shelf-stable cream cheese?

"Natural flavor with other natural flavor flavored filling."

Vive Hodie

on

Hotel Zena commissioned a massive pointillist portrait of Ruth Bader Ginsburg that's made out of 20,000 hand-painted tampons (organic tampon company CORA donated them all).

Cita Sadeli paint[ed] a pair of warrior women who tower five floors tall on the building's exterior.

There's a curving wall appointed with 8,000 protest buttons representing feminist events.

Cocktails come in names like "Empowermint" and "HBIC." [Lesbian]-owned Republic Restoratives' Civic Vodka makes its way into several drinks.

Mena isn't the deranged homeless lady?

Republic Restoratives » Spirits »

Long finish.

Die Very Rough

on

The Great Truce has stopped dog and cat hostility for a decade. But the long-standing peace is threatened when a supervillain parrot discovers a way to manipulate wireless frequencies that only dogs and cats can hear. [source]

2001, 2010, 2020 – the Lakers have won an NBA championship every year a Cats and Dogs film has been released.

Michael Apted should check in on fans of the first film whenever a sequel is released.

"At this point, we really feel there's not a mystery-verse built out anywhere, and Conan Doyle is the definitive voice in that arena to this day, so to me, why do a third movie if you're not going to be able to spin off into some real gems of diversity, and other times and elements?"

The action-adventure show features the most heroic and iconic vehicles from the DC universe as they defend Gotham City alongside Batman, Robin, Batgirl and other DC heroes.

In a big seven-figure deal, Netflix acquired the rights to develop original stories from the company's entire portfolio of brands; including but not limited to: The Elf on the Shelf, Elf Pets, and Elf Mates.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

41. Wild and Crazy Kids (We Are Who We Are, S01E04)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "He was a real white man." (The Good Lord Bird, S01E01)
  • "Pottawatomie Rifles ride for redemption, not crackers." (The Good Lord Bird, S01E01)
  • "Gird your loins, Onion." (The Good Lord Bird, S01E01)
  • "If I was your nigger, I wouldn't be your nigger for long." (The Good Lord Bird, S01E01)
  • "Owen? Isaiah 5:22."
    "'Though by dawn's early light, the heathen souls were eaten by ravenous goats.'" (The Good Lord Bird, S01E01)
  • "John Brown always said: 'Be mild with the mild, shrewd with the crafty, rough to the ruffian. With a liar? Be a thunderbolt.' What that meant was, you can lie your ass off to anyone who doesn't believe all people's equal." (The Good Lord Bird, S01E01)
  • "Slavery was a poisonous snake. Everybody knew that. But freedom, the kind that was being offered, with no home, no food, and not a friend in the world? That snake was just as poisonous. One snake pointed north. One snake pointed south. And they both bit the nigger." (The Good Lord Bird, S01E01)
  • ♫: The Zion Travelers – "The Blood" (The Good Lord Bird, S01E01)
  • "You don't have enough whiteness in you to sell that entitlement." (Lovecraft Country, S01E08)
  • ♫: Alice Smith – "I Put a Spell on You" (Lovecraft Country, S01E08)
  • "I want you to feel what I feel right now – heartbroken, scared, furious, tired, so fucking tired of feeling this way over and over. And I want you to feel alone and shameful, 'cause I'm here, feeling this, and you will never understand it. I want you to feel guilty 'cause—for feeling safe next to you and your privilege." (Lovecraft Country, S01E08)
  • "You wanna know why I took that potion? Because today, of all days, I didn't wanna be a black woman fucking a white man." (Lovecraft Country, S01E08)
  • "Familial love is the strongest kind." (Lovecraft Country, S01E08)
  • "Fuck you, pig." (Lovecraft Country, S01E08)
  • "Why would anyone wanna die like that?" (Lovecraft Country, S01E08)
  • "I'm just sick of forgiving every space that I enter 'cause it's not for me. I wanna create my own space." (Lovecraft Country, S01E08)
  • "U.S. Marshal Dick Wickware." (Fargo, S04E03)
  • "You blaspheme more than any man I've ever met, and I've been to Cleveland." (Fargo, S04E03)
  • "We had some spaghetti eaters in Salt Lake before the war." (Fargo, S04E03)
  • "Girl, you got a panty on your head." (Fargo, S04E03)
  • Ricki Lake (Black-ish, S07E01)
  • "Okay, how am I supposed to enjoy secret cake with you here watching me?" (Black-ish, S07E01)
  • "You think I got booted because we have the same name? You know, like, maybe they thought it was a duplicate?"
    "You really think it's that simple, son?"
    "Nah, it was definitely something sinister."
    "Yeah, that's my boy." (Black-ish, S07E01)
  • "White men don't know how to be bored. That's why they're always opening up vineyards." (Black-ish, S07E02)
  • "You're probably right, Jack."
    "I'm Junior."
    "Uh, sorry. Kinda been on my own show." (Black-ish, S07E02)
  • Desus and Mero (Black-ish, S07E02)
  • Kenya Barris (Black-ish, S07E02)
  • "Take your fucking twink and get the fuck out of here!" (The Boys, S02E08)
  • "I can't lash out like some raging, entitled maniac. That's a white man's luxury." (The Boys, S02E08)
  • "It's called 'white genocide.'" (The Boys, S02E08)
  • ♫: Nazi Stormfront / Hitler's star / Run her over with a car (The Boys, S02E08)
  • "As long as no one ever loves you again." (The Boys, S02E08)
  • "I'm back too, right? I'm anti-Nazi." (The Boys, S02E08)
  • "Fuck Fresca." (The Boys, S02E08)
  • "Now remember what I told you."
    "Don't be a cunt." (The Boys, S02E08)


(The Boys, S02E08)

  • The Boys Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: P-Valley
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: What We Do in the Shadows