Adam Riff™

This clip from the Fox show Beat Shazam is the bleakest thing on television. Darker than Euphoria or Chernobyl. I implore you to watch the entire clip pic.twitter.com/exocXvCaVg

— Mike Abrusci (@mikeabrusci) July 15, 2019

28. Duel of the Fates (Beat Shazam, S03E07)

Stray Observations

• ♫: Ben Kingsley – "When Doves Cry" (Perpetual Grace, LTD, S01E06)
• "You're marrying a man who was homosexual 12 minutes ago?" (Perpetual Grace, LTD, S01E06)
• "Lonnie won't save you with Christian love. To be saved, you need love that comes from the nuts – his nuts and your girl nuts." (Perpetual Grace, LTD, S01E06)
• "This is a conservative community. If I receive liberal, say, news publications, like The New York Times or The Guardian or a strap-on, will they… That will be confidential?"
  "Yeah."
  "And you have, um, you have various P.O. box sizes?"
  "There are. We have five P.O. box sizes."
  "My box will need to be longer than seven-and-a-half inches." (Perpetual Grace, LTD, S01E06)
• "You buried her alive, sheriff, and you're going soft on a bird?"
  "His lady died, man!" (Perpetual Grace, LTD, S01E06)
• ♫: Daniel Johnston – "True Love Will Find You in the End" (Legion, S03E03)
• "Everybody knows this is where you bottoms brunch." (Pose, S02E04)
• "Marriotts are owned by Mormons." (Baskets, S04E04)
• "All she's gonna do is take pictures of her titties and put it on Twitter."
  "Dad!"
  "Well, that's the truth. You might as well call it 'Twitties.'" (Baskets, S04E04)
• "It hurts when I touch it, for some reason."
  "And then the red comes out." (Los Espookys, S01E05)
• "The beach town that's fallen victim to a sea monster now seems to be home to Marilyn Monroe's ghost, which has been possessed by Fred Flintstone." (Los Espookys, S01E05)
• "Why aren't you wearing your UFO t-shirts?"
  "Why would the aliens wear t-shirts that say 'UFO," their mode of transportation? Would you wear a shirt that says 'car'?"
  "I would wear one that says 'Kia Picanto,' yes." (Los Espookys, S01E05)

The New AR™TV World Drama Champion: Perpetual Grace, LTD
The New AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Los Espookys

27. Joey Chestnut trains to eat 70+ hot dogs (30 for 30: The Good, the Bad, the Hungry, 07-02-19)

Honourable Mention

• Micropenis (Euphoria, S01E03)

Stray Observations

• "Look, why don't you just tell us what you're trying to do, and we can tell you how we can help."
  "Um…"
  "Unless it's human trafficking. I don't fuck with human trafficking." (Euphoria, S01E03)
• "Please promise me you will never fall for a Jordan Catalano." (Euphoria, S01E03)
• Best Coast (What Just Happened??! with Fred Savage, S01E01)
• Directed by the director of Blindspotting (Legion, S03E02)
• "Mom, Hierbalite was just a phase. Red Bull is my real passion. It gives me wings." (Los Espookys, S01E04)
• "You have five days to come up with my fucking money. Please remain on the line for a brief survey about our call today. Mark's threats were: a) concise and articulate, b) a little vague and confusing, c)…" (Los Espookys, S01E04)
• "Ugh, not even Tati buys ecstasy anymore." (Los Espookys, S01E04)
• "You know, my dream is to be Cirque du Soleil."
  "You want to be in Cirque du Soleil?"
  "No, I want to be Cirque du Soleil."
  "You want to be a gymnast?"
  "No… Well, part of me would have to be. The rest would be the tents, the audience, the shirts they sell on your way out…"
  "The parking, the receipts for the shirts… I see. Look, Tati, there are many mysteries of the world, but if there's one things I'm sure of, it's that you will be Cirque du Soleil." (Los Espookys, S01E04)
• Gravitron (Stranger Things, S03E06)
• Stranger Things Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Homecoming
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two

26. Udiquitous (Euphoria, S01E02)

Stray Observations

• "Let's hover the fuck out of here." (Perpetual Grace, LTD, S01E04)
• "Hey, I'm Ethan."
  "Please don't be a mass shooter." (Euphoria, S01E02)
• ♫: Gabriel Black and Phem – "Dead Yet" (Euphoria, S01E02)
• ♫: Unreleased Labrinth song over end credits (Euphoria, S01E02)
• "Orifice open." (Years and Years, S01E01)
• "He white? Oh, bitch, you fucked." (Pose, S02E03)
• "Oh, I don't do sub-basements." (Pose, S02E03)
• "My silicone is primo shit!" (Pose, S02E03)
• "This is Evan. He's Merle Haggard's nephew."
  "Evan Haggard." (Baskets, S04E03)
• "I'm not vegan. I had a salami log for breakfast this morning." (Baskets, S04E03)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Homecoming
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two