Adam Riff™

3. Dance, Dance (Peacemaker, S01E01)

Honourable Mention

• Mr. Frog (Smiling Friends, S01E02)

Stray Observations

• Blockbuster card (Euphoria, S02E01)
• ♫: 2Pac – "Hit 'Em Up" (Euphoria, S02E01)
• "You're probably fuckin' eating that ginger's ass for fuckin' oxys." (Euphoria, S02E01)
• "What the fuck? Are you just puttin' it in there? What are you doing? Oh, my God…okay. Jesus, that's your whole fucking crotch. Ow, that looks like it hurt, ow." (Euphoria, S02E01)
• Martha Kelly (Euphoria, S02E01)
• ♫: "Hypnotize" / "Back That Azz Up" / "Party Up" (Euphoria, S02E01)
• Nate opening bottles with his teeth (Euphoria, S02E01)
• ♫: Nate listening to Orville Peck (Euphoria, S02E01)
• Sydney Sweeney's boobs (Euphoria, S02E01)
• ♫: Cutting Crew – "[I Just] Died in Your Arms" (Euphoria, S02E01)
• "On the surface, Iron Lake may seem like the idyllic snow globe town Norman Rockwell would jerk off to. But I came here because an overprivileged, cis, white boy named Matt Caldwell went hunting in the woods one day and never came back." (Dexter, S09E10)
• ♫: Radiohead – "A Wolf at the Door" (Dexter, S09E10)
• "We'll get through this. The world needs us." (Dexter, S09E10)
• </Dexter, S09>
• ♫: Seal – "Kiss From a Rose" (Yellowjackets, S01E08)
• "Hey, that's a nice dick, Ernie." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
• "What's confusing? He's blasting cum everywhere." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
• "Bottom line: Your mom and I are not comfortable talking about cum with your baby brother. Load-blow convos are more appropriate, we believe, coming from an older sibling, as opposed to mommies and daddies." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
• "Streaming services."
  "Amen!" (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
• ♫: Heavy Young Heathens – "Come to Communion" (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
• BJ's milk in a wine glass (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
• "Hey, do not talk about my wife's vagina at church lunch, do you hear me?" (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
• "So we did it Nike style, dog. We just did it, okay? We're whim babies." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
• "Prince Eric? Who the fuck is that?"
  "The boy from The Little Mermaid."
  "The hottest guy in the entire Disney catalog."
  "It's Ariel's boyfriend, you fucking bitches."
  "Oh, lord. Y'all went down to Disney World, didn't invite any family to come to your wedding, and you didn't even get a legacy character to marry you." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
• "Judy, I don't want to discuss the mermaid wedding." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
• "You gotta marginalize your siblings. First-borns lead the way when parents trip." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
• "Okay, so the hot tubs are near where the elephants hose down Noah's ark?" (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
• "Like I'm gonna kiss that smelly ass ring that's probably been shoved up Amber's pussy."
  "Oh, it's definitely been shoved up her pussy. That's why kissing it is so very cool." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
• "Where's the littlest son we have who's been cumming on things?" (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
• "You have terrific tits."
  "Thanks for the cheese enchiladas." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E01)
• "Thaniel Block."
  "Nathaniel?"
  "Thaniel." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E02)
• "I'm not a lesbian partner. I'm her husband, BJ." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E02)
• "Oh, hey, do y'all know Joe Jonas?"
  "Joe Jonas from the Jonas Brothers?"
  "No, he…married to Game of Thrones?" (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E02)
• "That's wild. Thought of the same damn thing that Joe Jonas thought at the same time." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E02)
• ♫: Linkin Park – "One More Light" (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E02)
• "I'm hearing this, and I'm processing it, and I'm just thinking the only way we put this to an end, daddy, is if I go seduce this man. You know, get some intel through turn-ons, hand-holds, eye contacts. Jack him off just a little bit."
  "No, what we're gonna do is zip our lips, like I said."
  "Well, I'm just gonna go on record saying I think it'd be better if Judy at least jacked this fella off than do nothing at all."
  "Daddy, I could just get him hungry." (The Righteous Gemstones, S02E02)
• "How do I look, Yellow Man?"
  "Y-you look like you're about to tell your friend not to come to school tomorrow." (Smiling Friends, S01E03)

(Smiling Friends, S01E05)

• Century Egg (Smiling Friends, S01E05)
• DDR (Smiling Friends, S01E07)
• "I always wanted to be a SoundCloud artist, man." (Smiling Friends, S01E07)
• "I actually wanted to kill Puerto Ricans." (Smiling Friends, S01E07)
• </Smiling Friends, S01>
• "Did you see my video that I did about softening elbows? I did it to the tune of 'Black and Yellow.' ♪ Soften elbows, soften elbows ♪" (Abbott Elementary, S01E03)
• "Why does it say #BelieveScience, #RollTide, #BelieveAllWomen…#LockHerUp?"
  "You said you wanted eyes on it." (Abbott Elementary, S01E03)
• "She said, 'I want a man with a bigger throat,' and then she left." (Grand Crew, S01E04)
• Peli Motto (The Book of Boba Fett, S01E03)
• Danny Trejo (The Book of Boba Fett, S01E03)

(The Book of Boba Fett, S01E03)

• "Whew! Father, Son, and Kasey Musgraves over here, baby." (Next Level Chef, S01E03)
• ♫: Elton John – "United We Stand" (Station Eleven, S01E10)
• </Station Eleven, S01>
• "Aquaman fucks fish?" (Peacemaker, S01E01)
• "You're that racist superhero!"
  "No!"
  "You only kill minorities, man!"
  "I killed a fair amount of white people too!"
  "The ratio is suspect, is all I have to say!"
  "If somebody's committing a crime…"
  "Yes?"
  "…am I supposed to control what their ethnicity is?"
  "No. But you need to watch white people as closely as you watch people of color, so you see more of them committing crimes!"
  "Fine. That's, that's a good point. I will trust white people less in the future, and kill a higher percentage of 'em. Are you satisfied?" (Peacemaker, S01E01)
• "What's the op?"
  "Domestic situation, known as Project Butterfly."
  "As I recall, you guys aren't particularly creative with the case file names. Project Starfish was a giant walkin' starfish. So, what, am I fighting a Mothra now? I am? I'm fightin' a Mothra? What the fuck do I fight a Mothra with?" (Peacemaker, S01E01)
• "Her tits are way too big to be sugar tits. Sugar tits are, like, smaller, perkier tits. Like…yours. Uh, technically, I think you may have sugar tits too, but somehow that also feels inappropriate." (Peacemaker, S01E01)
• "Oh, my God, could you at least take you helmet off? You're gonna get dressing all over it."
  "Dressing is easier to get off this helmet than a human lip. That's a fuckin' fact. You want to have a dressing-getting-off contest right now?" (Peacemaker, S01E01)
• "I don't wanna come to your abortion, man." (Peacemaker, S01E01)
• "Hey, I gotta thank you for tonight. I was having a crazy, fucked-up day, but when I was in your pussy back there, I felt, I don't know, fuckin' hope!" (Peacemaker, S01E01)
• "Uh, we both love Cinderella."
  "Seven years, not once have you mentioned Cinderella!"
  "What? I talk about Cinderella at least once a week, Evan! You just never fucking hear me because you're always going on about Coldplay and Foster the fucking People!"
  "Oh, you're gonna put down my musical taste now? How fucking low are you?"
  "'Pumped Up Kicks,' Evan? Do you know what that song is about?" (Peacemaker, S01E02)
• "Arrest me or get the fuck out of here, chopsticks."
  "Yeah, well, we'll be seeing you, fork!"
  "Fork? Why not spoon?"
  "Everybody in the world uses spoons."
  "I mean, spoon would've been more demeaning. Makes it like a baby thing. You know, little babies use spoons."
  "Okay, adults also use spoons, but I get it." (Peacemaker, S01E02)
• "What? I don't even like when my balls are in somebody's mouth, okay? It gives me the wrong type of chills. And all I can think about is how long it's been since I've gotten checked for testicular cancer." (Peacemaker, S01E02)
• "Louis C.K., how he showed people his dick. He, himself."
  "Because he's a ginger?"
  "A fucking… What?"
  "Look, hey, I'm begging you. Will you please, please just look at my crotch? Come on." (Peacemaker, S01E02)
• Chicago VHS (Peacemaker, S01E02)
• "Hey! Holy shit, look at that. It's a funny smiley man." (Peacemaker, S01E02)
• ♫: Santa Cruz – "Drag Me Down" (Peacemaker, S01E02)
• ♫: John Murphy – "Pumped Up Kicks [feat. Ralph Saenz]" (Peacemaker, S01E02)
• "If one of them does become a friend, it should be her, because there's a bunch of rumors going around about you being racist, and, you know, frankly, it's a little embarrassing for me. As if I become a racist by osmosis, even though I mostly kill white people, so…" (Peacemaker, S01E03)
• "Just because that's an unattractive child doesn't mean I wanna kill it." (Peacemaker, S01E03)
• "One thing I'm in favor of, it's two chicks going at it."
  "Oh, geez."
  "What? I'm a fuckin' ally."
  "Having a lesbian haircut doesn't make you an ally."
  "You haven't seen my porn folder, 400 gigs of alliance." (Peacemaker, S01E03)
• "It's Berenstain Bears, not Berenstein Bears." (Peacemaker, S01E03)
• "You remind me of a shit I took last night, only Asian." (Peacemaker, S01E03)
• "Why is it not coming off?"
  "'Cause your blades are dull as fuck, man! Why don't you maintain your torture shit?"
  (Peacemaker, S01E03)

2. Cleveland Drops (Monday Night Football, 03 Jan 2022)

Stray Observations

• The Joker + "You're kind of like Batman or something." (Dexter, S09E09)
• ♫: Idles – "War" (Dexter, S09E09)
• Misty saving Nat from relapsing (Yellowjackets, S01E08)
• Poor litter-bearers (The Book of Boba Fett, S01E02)

(The Book of Boba Fett, S01E02)

• "Your lives are a gesture of our civility." (The Book of Boba Fett, S01E02)
• ♫: Karaoke Smash Mouth – "All Star" (Station Eleven, S01E08)
• ♫: TLC – "Creep" (Station Eleven, S01E09)
• "Excuse me, you all need to take it down a notch. It's the holidays. People are trying to die." (Search Party, S05E01)
• Julio Torres (Search Party, S05E03)
• "What happened, officer?"
  "Drowned."
  "But it's only four feet of water."
  "I've seen it before with pool boys. They see a dead bee and fixate on it. Next thing you know, they fall head first against the bottom. Let this be a lesson to you, huh? Let the bees float." (Search Party, S05E03)
• ♫: Charles William – "Bulletproof Hearts" (Search Party, S05E05)
• "We were all fascinated by her. I masturbated to her a few times." (Search Party, S05E06)
• "And do you carry Hot Baby?"
  "Oh, the hot sauce just for babies?"
  "Are you jealous that my husband is the inventor of Hot Baby?
  "I am." (Search Party, S05E08)
• Joe Pera (Search Party, S05E08)
• "They're going to break the fucking glass!"
  "They can't. It's bulletproof."
  "Why would it be bulletproof?"
  "Because I'm mafia. Might as well say it." (Search Party, S05E09)
• "Can't you kill him? Aren't you mafia or something?"
  "My role is more like the gossip." (Search Party, S05E09)
• "Oh, before she choked on her last breath, she asked me to give you this." (Search Party, S05E09)
• "Wait, where is Aspen?"
  "In his room. He's been up there all day playing with his abacus." (Search Party, S05E10)
• "This woman has no brain."
  "Yes, I do!"
  "No, she's a completely brain-dead moron."
  "No, no! I'm just leggy!" (Search Party, S05E10)
• "There's gonna be a lot of time traveling in the next few decades, and this is the safest hub for it 'cause the number one danger of time travel is ending up in the middle of a wall that got built in that spot. You don't wanna suddenly materialize in the middle of a wall." (Search Party, S05E10)
• "Did you guys get fruit leather? Some fucking faggot has fruit leather in his bag." (Search Party, S05E10)
• </Search Party>

1. Grown Ups (The Real World Homecoming: Los Angeles, S02E06)

Honourable Mention

• ♫: A Tribe Called Quest – "Excursions" (Station Eleven, S01E07)

Stray Observations

• "You only have leverage if I am not willing to make you talk, which, in this case, means that you have no leverage at all." (Yellowjackets, S01E07)
• "We already at $5,000."
  "What?!"
  "Five Gs, like the cell phone." (Insecure, S05E10)
• "I don't want you to regret anything."
  "I don't." (Insecure, S05E10)
• "This is birthday dick you deserve." (Insecure, S05E10)
• "She's such a good mom. Dresses nice, one braid." (Insecure, S05E10)
• ♫: Birthday songs (Insecure, S05E10)
• "I feel like our friendships just got hard all of a sudden." (Insecure, S05E10)
• "Now remember, birthday sex only happens once a year, so try that thing I told you about. If you black out, you did it right. If he black out, call for help." (Insecure, S05E10)
• ♫: Kelis – "Bossy (feat. Too $hort)" (Insecure, S05E10)
• </Insecure>
• "You don't want to be another Sir John Gielgud, do you?" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
• "Regal Beagle!" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
• "I am not Stockholm tapping." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
• "There's never been a moment of my life that I did not have total penis awareness." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
• "It's a lot to do, just to have more than one wife."
  "Yeah. I gotta say, it's an appealing proposition, though. Because you have one, after two days, you go to number two. You get tired of two, you move on to three. By the time you're done with three, you're ready to go back to one. It's like a manager with a pitching staff." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
• "You've heard the Tabernacle, the choir?"
  "What's more beautiful than castrated boys singing?" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
• "That's not a hug! That's like an old-time photographer pose." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
• Alexander Vindman (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
• "You know what a good book title would be? China and Russia on That Bullshit." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
• "Before you get to the gate, grab me one of those neck pillows…and two Slim Jims. They don't have 'em over there." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11E10)
• </Curb Your Enthusiasm, S11>
• "He wants you to pay him."
  "What? I'm the crime lord. He's supposed to pay me." (The Book of Boba Fett, S01E01)

(How To with John Wilson, S02E06)

(How To with John Wilson, S02E06)

(How To with John Wilson, S02E06)

• </How To with John Wilson, S02>

(MacGruber, S01E06)

• "Oh, my fucking dick!" (MacGruber, S01E06)
• "Oh, what's so funny, huh? You think about your favorite Dilbert quote? Huh, you little fuckin' dumbass Dilbert fan?" (MacGruber, S01E06)
• "By the way, I am a Dilbert fan." (MacGruber, S01E06)
• "But I was wrong. 'Cause you're not a piece of fuckin' shit. You're a piece of fucking friend." (MacGruber, S01E06)
• "That's right, MacGruber. I did it all for the nookie." (MacGruber, S01E06)
• ♪ "Let me make it up to you, baby." ♪ (MacGruber, S01E06)
• "So yeah, he may be hung like a butterfly, but he stings like a gnat." (MacGruber, S01E06)
• MacGruber wiping his butt cliffhanger (MacGruber, S01E06)
• "Tomato, 'toe-muh-toe.'" (MacGruber, S01E07)
• "Private Fukk" (MacGruber, S01E07)
• "Hey. Sharold."
  "Yeah?"
  "Livestrong." (MacGruber, S01E07)
• Laurence Fishburne talking about the Architect (MacGruber, S01E07)
• "Nice job, Piss." (MacGruber, S01E07)
• "So we now think your father is the Architect, and we're basing that on information we got from one of your farts?"
  "Looks like someone's finally playing chess." (MacGruber, S01E08)
• "Are you sure about this?"
  "Vicki, people lie. Buttholes don't." (MacGruber, S01E08)
• </MacGruber, S01>

Looking forward: