Jorkin Depeanus

on

Jurassic World Bubbles Up Jimmy Buffett Figure

Jurassic World fans and Parrotheads alike fondly remember Jimmy Buffett's cameo "saving" two margaritas as dimorphodons attack and swarm Jurassic World attendees.

• Margarita glass lights up and plays music when you turn the base

• Authentic sounds including whirring blender and swarming dimorphodons

• Figure holds two drink glasses; we included a "lost shaker of salt" accessory

• Premium margarita blender packaging structure with custom artwork

Who is this for?

Who is in the center of the Venn diagram of action figure collectors, Jurassic World fans, and Parrotheads?

Mattel should make this a series.

An action figure of Zara's death in Jurassic World.

An action figure of the toilet death in Jurassic Park.

An action figure of the gymnastics save in The Lost World.

A Marxist and Luciferian incantation

on

[pause]

The luxury health food chain has featured a drink on its menu for about a year that contains raw beef organs mixed with kefir, breast milk, maple syrup, and berries.

Raw beef organs with breast milk?

Oh, they updated the story, replacing "breast milk" with "colostrum (first milk following calf birth)."

Raw beef organs with PRE-breast milk.

Kefir and colostrum ice cream with maple whipped cream, raw beef organ sprinkles, and a berry on top.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

29. Crouching Jedi, Hidden Sith (The Acolyte, S01E08)

Stray Observations

  • "To the discontented, rumors are feed." (House of the Dragon, S02E05)
  • "Tell Lady Vengeance to calm down, I got an idea." (Marvel's Hit-Monkey, S02E02)
  • "See you in hell, Jedi." (The Acolyte, S01E08)
  • </The Acolyte, S01>
  • "Hughie, I asked you something."
    "Fine. I'll-I'll, um… I'll go to the topless steakhouse for you." (The Boys, S04E08)
  • </The Boys, S04>
  • "Do not fuck up."
    "Oh, good thing I only fuck down." (Kite Man: Hell Yeah!, S01E01)
  • "Are you serious? Beyoncé?"
    "I know. She's the albino Matrix twins of music." (Kite Man: Hell Yeah!, S01E02)
  • "This iced tea and lemonade mixture is divine. Reminds me of my favorite golfer, Trevino. Lee Trevino. A round of Lee Trevinos for everyone." (Kite Man: Hell Yeah!, S01E02)

Desperation as riot control

on

// Las Vegas, NV

Similar to how Jason Bourne was able to use the planned demolition of the Riviera to their advantage and feature a thrilling SWAT BearCat crash through the casino floor, Con Air was able to use the scheduled demolition of the Sands and feature a plane crashing and sliding through the Las Vegas Strip, ultimately ending up in the Sands lobby. [source]

The Mirage closes today, with its iconic volcano set for demolition. Just saying.

Chud Meridian

on

As if books have never been banned in real life.

A reluctant leader heads up a team of seven Christians intent on smuggling Bibles to underground churches in a future America where the Bible is illegal and danger is around every corner. [source]

Christians want to be victims so badly…

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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28. Sex Type Thing (Sausage Party: Foodtopia, S01E06)

Stray Observations

  • "What would you have me do, mother?"
    "Do simply what is needed of you – nothing." (House of the Dragon, S02E04)
  • ♫: Victoria Monét – "Power of Two" (The Acolyte, S01E07)
  • "Some music, perhaps? I noticed you enjoy truly revolting garbage from the 1990s."
    [♫: Crazy Town – "Butterfly"] (The Boys, S04E07)


(The Boys, S04E07)

  • "You wanna get that before you have no fingers?" (Fantasmas, S01E06)
  • </Fantasmas, S01>
  • </The Mole, S07>
  • "Jack, what are you doing?"
    "I don't know! There's a hot dog up my ass!" (Sausage Party: Foodtopia, S01E02)
  • "Hey, you want to spread me open? Yeah. Squirt some mustard on me. Pop a radish on my head. Dunk me in a soda, smear me on a watermelon slice, and then eat me? Is that it?"
    "I would never do that. That flavor profile is insane!" (Sausage Party: Foodtopia, S01E04)
  • "To all the volunteers, when I call you by name, please step forward. Chris Bologna. Kishka Hargitay. Iced Tea." (Sausage Party: Foodtopia, S01E04)
  • "So, I'm hooking up with this smokin' hot peach, and I reach down, and guess what? Bro, no fuzz." (Sausage Party: Foodtopia, S01E05)
  • "She is living in a fantasy world. Hey, Brenda, I got an idea. Why don't you join us in the real world, where an evil orange is ruining our food society?" (Sausage Party: Foodtopia, S01E06)
  • </Sausage Party: Foodtopia, S01>

John Jebrowski

on

"Hawk Tuah" streaming money grabs vs. Tortured Poets Department chart manipulation.

A version of The Tortured Poets Department with an exclusive "Hawk Tuah" bonus track.

Beyoncé de-throning Taylor Swift with a version of Cowboy Carter on which Dolly Parton is replaced by "Hawk Tuah" Girl.

A streaming money grab album of Dolly Parton parodies by "Hawk Tuah" Girl.

"I Will Always Love You"? "I Will Spit on That Thing."

Slurpin' hawk to ah, what a way to make a livin'
Barely gettin' by, it's all suckin' no receivin'

Mexican Chemtrails

on

Air-fried Twinkies just sounds wrong.

Idea: Dry-aged Twinkies.

Idea: Deep-fried ranch dressing-filled Twinkies.

Bill Cosby's residence:

Buy four Jello-O dongs, get one free.

Pair a Jell-O dong with a Crayon Shin-chan butt pudding:

Rory: You know, a syringe also pairs with a butt…

Tsundere

on

Wikipedia » UFC 306 »

UFC 306 will take place on September 14, 2024 at the Sphere in Paradise, Nevada.

This event will mark the promotion's second "Noche UFC" celebrating Mexican Independence Day.

It will also be the first time the UFC has allowed a sponsor to have title partner status, officially rebranding UFC 306 as "Riyadh Season Noche UFC."

Move over, Noches Éne•Bé•A presented by H&R Block.

Allstate is considered the frontrunner for the sponsorship, with the potential conference name becoming the Allstate 12 Conference.

Dr. Pepper Noches Allstate 12.

Additionally, the Big 12 will explore establishing a football bowl game in Monterrey, starting in 2026. This would be the first bowl game ever held in Mexico.

The Riyadh Season Red, White, and Blue Bowl at Estadio BBVA: Allstate 12 vs. Home Depot SEC.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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27. Bodies Bodies Bodies (The Boys, S04E06)

Stray Observations

  • </Clipped, S01>
  • "I could really go for a Crunchwrap Supreme and a Sybian." (The Boys, S04E06)
  • "We'll make it look like an accident. He always admired David Carradine." (The Boys, S04E06)
  • "You wanna get that before you have no fingers?" (Fantasmas, S01E06)
  • "Call it…Gaytino."
    "Vanesja, Gaytinx." (Fantasmas, S01E05)
  • Dylan O'Brien in lingerie (Fantasmas, S01E05)