Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

32. Raw Underground (WWE Raw, 03 Aug 20)

Honourable Mention

  • Sex scene (P-Valley, S01E04)
  • Sex scene (Maxxx, S01E03)

Stray Observations

  • "Ooh-whee, girl. I don't need no crack with a voice like that." (P-Valley, S01E04)
  • "Don't blaspheme in front of me."
    "Nigga, you ain't God." (P-Valley, S01E04)
  • "Well, Miss Mississippi, you sure named after the right river, 'cause your ass can't hold water for shit." (P-Valley, S01E04)
  • "Hooch on." (P-Valley, S01E04)
  • ♫: Kelly Rowland – "Motivation [feat. Lil Wayne]" (P-Valley, S01E04)
  • "We ain't got time for them white girl tears, though they are very tasty." (P-Valley, S01E04)
  • ♫: Lil Murda – "Fallin'" (P-Valley, S01E04)
  • ♫: Grimes – "Oblivion" (I May Destroy You, S01E09)
  • ♫: FKA twigs – "home with you" (I May Destroy You, S01E09)
  • ♫: Alice Smith – "I Put a Spell on You" (I May Destroy You, S01E09)
  • ♫: Janelle Monáe – "Come Alive [War of the Roses]" (I May Destroy You, S01E09)
  • "Rose, Gangnam's dead! I'm back, baby!" (Maxxx, S01E04)
  • "Anthony Robbins me." (Maxxx, S01E04)
  • "I'm a longtime believer, first-time prayer." (Maxxx, S01E04)
  • "I love MySpace. I love Selena Gomez. I love gravel." (Maxxx, S01E05)
  • "Oh, it's like a Richard Curtis movie. Oh, I'm just a boy, sitting under a whore, telling her I don't love her." (Maxxx, S01E05)
  • "We could give him CBD oil. That cures everything." (Maxxx, S01E05)
  • "Yo, Stephen Fry, shut up." (Maxxx, S01E05)
  • ♫: "Wade in the Water" (Maxxx, S01E05)
  • "I bleed authenticness-ness. Ask Crazy Frog, ask Jedward, ask Justin Timberlake." (Maxxx, S01E06)
  • "Who is the biggest comeback ever?"
    "I don't know. Shia LaBeouf."
    "Jesus Christ."
    "I don't know, I'm just throwing out names, bro."
    "No, literally, Jesus Christ." (Maxxx, S01E06)
  • "I find it ironic that my actual gender fluid turned out to be gender fluid." (Maxxx, S01E06)
  • "Wes Anderson themed, except we're gonna actually use black people in it." (Maxxx, S01E06)
  • "You're not a kind of girl who's obsessed with penis size. You…not that that is relevant to me at all. Because…it's…at least average in a number of Asian countries." (Maxxx, S01E06)
  • "I wanna wear you like a feedbag." (Maxxx, S01E06)
  • Maxxx Season Grade: D

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Great
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: What We Do in the Shadows

pro-hentai, anti-degeneracy

Three remakes debut on Billboard's rock radio charts dated Aug. 1.

Leading the way among debuting tracks is the late Chris Cornell's version of Guns N' Roses' "Patience," which bows at No. 16 on Mainstream Rock Songs and No. 36 on Alternative Airplay.

Also on Mainstream Rock Songs, Three Days Grace returns at No. 31 with its version of Gotye's "Somebody That I Used to Know."

And on Alternative Airplay, Silversun Pickups debut at No. 40 with "Toy Soldiers," an amped-up take on Martika.

What are we even doing anymore?

A Pee-wee Herman Society

Previously on Adam Riff™:

Grimaldi's, okay.

Geno's, sure.

Party Fowl?

I assume Prince's, Hattie B's, and Bolton's all passed.


Is El Torito known for its carnitas street taco? Because I know it for its Sunday brunch – and being a dying restaurant chain.

This is like queso-flavoured chips inspired by QDOBA in Austin, TX.

Idea: A potato taco in which the potato is reconstituted carnitas street taco Lay's.

Idea: Fried chicken thigh breaded in crushed Nashville-hot-chicken-flavoured chicken breast.

Idea: Shrimp-flavoured fish skin.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

31. Funeral Crasher (Maxxx, S01E01)

Stray Observations

  • "This fantasy cheap. Real life, I don't think you could afford her." (P-Valley, S01E03)
  • ♫: Valerie June – "Workin' Woman Blues" (P-Valley, S01E03)
  • "Well, the closest I've been to Atlanta is the Freaknik chapter in A Man in Full." (P-Valley, S01E03)
  • "I'll text you."
    "I'll reply." (P-Valley, S01E03)

(P-Valley, S01E03)

  • "Ears stay more open than legs at The Pynk." (P-Valley, S01E03)
  • "Get you some sunscreen. We don't want you getting black now." (P-Valley, S01E03)
  • "A wise woman once told me: Don't let not one nigga know what you abouts to do. Just let these bitches watch." (P-Valley, S01E03)
  • ♫: 5 Alarm – "Twerk Sumtin'" (P-Valley, S01E03)
  • "Well, bless your thotty little hearts." (P-Valley, S01E03)
  • "Keyshawn, girl, bring your titties. This baby up here hungry." (P-Valley, S01E03)
  • ♫: Tokyo Vanity – "Trinity Dance" (P-Valley, S01E03)

(P-Valley, S01E03)

  • "Right now your shit more like salad."
    "Romaine or frisée?" (P-Valley, S01E03)
  • ♫: The Showboys – "Drag Rap" (P-Valley, S01E03)
  • "Ain't no vitamin D in the VIP." (P-Valley, S01E03)
  • "It's all there."
    "You know I don't trust white people." (P-Valley, S01E03)
  • "Being banging sometime more a burden than a blessing." (P-Valley, S01E03)
  • "I'm not straight, I just love dick." (I May Destroy You, S01E08)
  • "I come from a generation of people that felt your power 'cause you came up in their face."
    "The Louis C.K. generation?" (Maxxx, S01E01)
  • "What do you see?"
    [Michael Jackson]
    "Ugh, a depressing HBO documentary." (Maxxx, S01E01)
  • "I'm woke enough to talk about periods." (Maxxx, S01E01)
  • "Biggie Smalls dies, suddenly Puffy is selling Sting to black people. Thnk about that for a second. Sting to black people. That's the power of death." (Maxxx, S01E01)
  • "Let's suck it out of the cadaver." (Maxxx, S01E02)
  • "Cocaine, ecstasy, Adderall, Molly, Meow Meow, Benzodiazepines, uppers, downers, wheatgrass shot." (Maxxx, S01E02)
  • "Where should I gain entry?" (Maxxx, S01E02)
  • "Who needs integrity when you can be successful?" (Maxxx, S01E02)
  • ♫: The La's – "Feelin'" (Brassic, S01E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Great
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: What We Do in the Shadows

Demon Semen

…Oh yeah?

Venn diagram of Entourage fanatics and podcast listeners.

Meanwhile, Christopher and Adriana host dueling Sopranos re-watch podcasts???

I'm surprised that Jim Beaver doesn't have a Deadwood re-watch podcast, given his regular presence commenting on Alan Sepinwall's Deadwood rewinds.

Podcast Idea: Actors watch and discuss selections from their filmographies à la The A.V. Club's Random Roles. The catch: They don't know the selections beforehand. Each season, a different actor. Limited time commitment.

When convention money dries up.

How much has Norman Reedus missed out on this year?

Start Blind, End Up Dumb

Why is a network that's now mostly Ridiculousness holding an in-person Video Music Awards next month?

The Mount Rushmore of cable television ubiquity: Ridiculousness, SpongeBob, Impractical Jokers, Guy Fieri?

Rob Dyrdek is older than Sebastian Maniscalco, who hosted last year's Video Music Awards for some reason.

Rob Dyrdek is older than Stugotz.


Rhythmic Sucking

The game that would eventually become Super 3D Noah's Ark was originally conceived as a licensed game based on the movie Hellraiser, a movie that Wisdom Tree founder Dan Lawton was a great fan of.

Wisdom Tree acquired the game rights to Hellraiser for $50,000, along with a license to use the Wolfenstein 3D game engine from id Software, believing that the fast, violent action of Wolfenstein would be a good match for the mood of the film.

However, by the time the first prototype was finished, Doom had been released, and Wisdom Tree felt that Hellraiser would not be able to compete.

In addition, the management at Wisdom Tree decided that developing and publishing a horror-themed game would clash with their religious, family-friendly image. [source]

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

30. Phone Sex (P-Valley, S01E02)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "You got potential, but you ain't ready yet. You pumpin' out your first thoughts, and I need your 27th." (P-Valley, S01E02)
  • ♫: Lil' Bad Cuzzin – "Chucalissa City" (P-Valley, S01E02)
  • "All proceeds go to a bitch pockets." (P-Valley, S01E02)
  • "Why you so damn heavy-handed?"
    "That's my grandmama recipe."
    "Is that why she dead?" (P-Valley, S01E02)
  • "So what else you don't like about my fine establishment, A$AP Nobody?" (P-Valley, S01E02)
  • "Yo, let me get a hit of that Aquafina." (P-Valley, S01E02)
  • "One man in the club, looking to spend money. Two men in the club, lookin' to make money." (P-Valley, S01E02)
  • "Some niggas can't handle them a Melanin Monroe. (P-Valley, S01E02)
  • ♫: Mulatto – "Bitch From Da Souf" (P-Valley, S01E02)
  • ♫: Key Glock – "Prime" (P-Valley, S01E02)
  • "Now, I'm-a need you to use them lips. And I'll leave it up to you to decide which set you gon' use." (P-Valley, S01E02)
  • "Someone needs to tell her that black women don't do coke. And, apart from Arabella, we don't get raped." (I May Destroy You, S01E07)

(Corporate, S03E01)

  • "I'm watching Jew Pope. Um, kind of a dumb premise, but it's okay."
    "I've heard that's one of the better pope shows." (Corporate, S03E01)
  • Piñata filled with pickles (Corporate, S03E01)
  • Snailathan Gold (Close Enough, S01E07)

"You know, that movie doesn't really hold up." (Close Enough, S01E08)

  • "Josh, I love focacc, but it's not from medieval times!" (Close Enough, S01E08)
  • "University of Phoenix. Go browsers!" (Close Enough, S01E08)
  • "How dare you? Quoting The Cable Guy was our thing." (Close Enough, S01E08)

(Close Enough, S01E08)

  • "To protect the sheep, you got to catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf."
    "Now you say one of Ethan Hawke's lines."
    "No one knows his part!" (Close Enough, S01E08)
  • "I just wanted a Gotye parody!" (Close Enough, S01E08)
  • "Where are they now?" epilogue (Close Enough, S01E08)
  • Close Enough Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Great
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: What We Do in the Shadows

In Jesus name No more cap

Fuck, Marry, Kill:

AMC Sets Additional Episodes Of Colman Domingo Digital Series Bottomless Brunch At Colman's

AMC is giving us another helping of Bottomless Brunch at Colman's hosted by Fear the Walking Dead actor Colman Domingo.

The network has ordered an additional six episodes of the series which features Domingo and his guests having a virtual conversation with the staples of a good brunch: food and booze.

AMC's Quarantine Chat Show With Jeffrey Dean Morgan Gets Four More Episodes

AMC has ordered four additional episodes of Friday Night in With the Morgans, the weekly video-chat-based series hosted by The Walking Dead's Jeffrey Dean Morgan and his wife Hilarie Burton Morgan.

The show, hosted by the Morgans from their farm in upstate New York, features conversations about how people are getting through the pandemic and life in quarantine.

Ride With Norman Reedus Renewed For Season 5 By AMC

Ride With Norman Reedus features The Walking Dead star and motorcycle enthusiast Norman Reedus as he hits the open road with a riding companion to explore different cultures and experience the best scenery, food, nature and local activities in the US and around the world.