Divine power is seeking my undivided attention

It's 2019. How do airport gate area seats not all have power sockets?

At least airports have seemingly all gotten on board with free unlimited wifi.

According to research by AtYourGate, 60% of travelers want to make a purchase at the airport but don't end up doing so due to lack of time. That's why the company created its in-airport delivery app.

I suppose if an appealing eatery is in another terminal…

The airplane boarding process would be less chaotic if passengers were required to check all non-carry-on bags.

Similarly, if no one likes being reclined upon, why do we allow seats in coach to recline at all?


Edible.com… When did Edible Arrangements re-brand?

They're leaving money on the table by not selling arrangements of marijuana edibles.


CBD, because of course.

What products contain Edibles™ Hemp CBD?

Currently, Edibles™ Hemp CBD can be infused with our fresh fruit smoothies and chocolate dipped fruit, but that's only the beginning. We intend to expand our CBD offerings to many other creations in the near future.

[googles "sweetgreen cbd"]

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

46. Eat Shit, Bob (Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, 11-10-19)

Stray Observations

  • "You know he was a racist?"
    "He was a white man in Oklahoma." (Watchmen, S01E04)
  • Lube Man (Watchmen, S01E04)
  • Adrian Veidt pulling cloned fetuses out of a river so he can age them rapidly to adulthood and get them to help catapult their murdered clones into the sky (Watchmen, S01E04)
  • "Hey, uh, do me a favour, would ya? Rip my ass wax. I can't reach back there with my arthritis." (Shameless, S10E01)
  • "And then I fucked over…World Poker Tour there." (Silicon Valley, S06E03)
  • "He was an inferior Rick. He was too political. I want to have fun, classic, Rick and Morty adventures like in the old days." (Rick and Morty, S04E01)
  • "Stop asking questions. Stop doing meta-commentary. Just have fun. We're going on a simple, fun, classic adventure."
    "Okay, you know what? It would really help if you could just say anything other than what you don't want."
    "I like Mr. Meeseeks." (Rick and Morty, S04E01)
  • "It's what bullies call a 'fait accompli.'" (Rick and Morty, S04E01)
  • "Oh, real nice, Rick. Turning our son into an Akira?" (Rick and Morty, S04E01)
  • Horatio Sanz (The Mandalorian, S01E01)
  • Brian Posehn (The Mandalorian, S01E01)
  • Baby Yoda (The Mandalorian, S01E01)
  • Macho Man (South Park, S23E07)
  • "Did Judd Nelson ever get his Oscar?" (American Horror Story, S09E09)
  • American Horror Story Season Grade: D
  • "I'd kill myself too if I had that clown's name."
    "You literally have the name of a clown." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E08)
  • "No, my name's an homage."
    "It's an homage to a hamburger clown." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E08)
  • "Bam. You're glue." (The Good Place, S04E08)
  • "I should be able to bring in random bad people. Call up Elizabeth Holmes. No, Henry Kissinger. No, PewDiePie." (The Good Place, S04E08)
  • "And if I'm wrong, I'll be the first to say 'we're glue.'" (The Good Place, S04E08)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Succession
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion:: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia


Idea: Sean Evans interviews celebrities while they smoke various menthol Wings Menthol cigarettes.

Idea: Nardwuar interviews Sean Evans. "What can you say about this Instagram photo?"

Idea: Jerry Seinfeld interviews celebrities while they drink increasingly hotter cups of coffee.

Idea: Jerry Seinfeld and celebrity dogs sing along to songs while driving around in increasingly hotter cars.

Idea: Kayfabe Zach Galifianakis interviews kayfabe Eric Andre.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

45. Runaway (Mr. Robot, S04E05)

Stray Observations

  • "Is it the 1980s, Petey?"
    "Uh, mm-mm, no sir."
    "Then who gives a shit about Rorschach?" (Watchmen, S01E03)

(Watchmen, S01E03)

  • "And where does God go when he dies? He goes to Hell." (Watchmen, S01E03)
  • "You've probably read half of Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon, and it's about 50/50 whether you own a snake." (Silicon Valley, S06E02)
  • "I was state-raised! You think I'm scared to catch a case of some bullshit?!" (Silicon Valley, S06E02)
  • Young M.A (Mr. Robot, S04E05)

(Mr. Robot, S04E05)

  • "Season finale" (South Park, S23E06)
  • "We're trying to listen to Creedence!" (American Horror Story, S09E08)
  • "Kajagoogoo is dead!" (American Horror Story, S09E08)
  • "No one is going to miss Kaja-fucking-googoo and their one hit single." (American Horror Story, S09E08)
  • "The '80s are over. People don't even do coke anymore. Eh, fashion is boring. Lots of flannel. Oh, and good luck finding an aerobics class. I love you, Montana. You're '80s forever." (American Horror Story, S09E08)
  • ♫: "Eye of the Tiger" (American Horror Story, S09E08)
  • "We do nothing, and we hope that our early successes make up for the embarrassing mess we've become, like Facebook or America." (The Good Place, S04E07)
  • "Now, this is a Rolex. It's the exact same watch Richie Sambora wears." (The Good Place, S04E07)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Succession
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion:: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

My Christian heart cannot withstand the thundering arena

Collect the most properties, property sets, and railroad blocks before the tower crashes!

Greedy Jenga.

But players have to do this wearing a mouthpiece that makes it really hard to understand what they're saying.

Handicapped Taboo.

Players take turns knocking out plastic candies from the bottom row of the Connect 4 frame. Each time one gets knocked out, a new disc must be placed in one of the slots at the top of the frame. The plastic candy tokens keep moving out and dropping down as players try to get sets of 2, 3, or 4 candies adjacent to each other on the bottom row, or vertically up from the bottom.

Analog Candy Crush?

Players try to guess the suspect, murder weapon, and scene of the crime by asking yes or no questions about their opponent's cards in the grid.

Basic Clue.

The designated judge spins the spinner and calls out a challenge based on where it lands, and then chooses a starting letter. Then the twisting, shouting, and laughing begins! Players place their hands and feet on the mat to make a word. Then depending on where the spinner has landed, they try to be the first to shout out, spell out, or use the word in a sentence to win the round.

Should've swapped Jenga and Twister – Monopoly Twister and Scrabble Jenga.

Monopoly Twister: Mat of jumbled Monopoly properties. Spinner determines a body part, which you can place on any open property. Claim the most property sets before you collapse.

Scrabble Jenga: Scrabble tiles as Jenga blocks. Spell out words with blocks you remove. Highest word score when the tower crashes wins.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

44. A good time (AEW Dynamite, 10-30-19)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • Henry Louis Gates, Jr. (Watchmen, S01E02)
  • "There are so many things I'd like to occur to you." (Watchmen, S01E02)
  • Blue penis (Watchmen, S01E02)

(Watchmen, S01E02)

  • ♫: Beastie Boys – "Eggman" (Watchmen, S01E02)
  • "Okay, so you touch down at Dulles, you turn off airplane mode, and then—"
    "Well, actually, we flew through Reagan National."
    "Reagan? But you love trams." (Silicon Valley, S06E01)
  • "What is Amazon anyway? Is it a river? Is it a giant woman? It's not clear." (Silicon Valley, S06E01)
  • "You're telling me that El Pollo Loco corporate has more employees than we do?" (Silicon Valley, S06E01)
  • Jon Glaser (Mr. Robot, S04E04)
  • ♫: Theodore Shapiro – "Ecstasy" (Mr. Robot, S04E04)
  • "Where you headed?"
    "First stop: Baltimore. I got a cousin name of Nathan, lives in the Lexington Terrace
    apartments on the west side. He needs my help." (The Deuce, S03E08)
  • Game of Thrones (The Deuce, S03E08)
  • ♫: Blondie – "Sidewalks of New York" (The Deuce, S03E08)
  • The Deuce Season Grade: C
  • Cats (Black-ish, S06E06)
  • "The mummy" (South Park, S23E05)
  • Doogie Howser, M.D. (American Horror Story, S09E07)
  • "Who are you?"
    "Oh, that's Kajagoogoo, you idiot! Limahl, are you gonna play 'Too Shy'? I love that song."
    "Oh, that's the only song we're going to play. It's our biggest hit. It's the only song anyone wants to hear."
    "Wait, just one song? What about 'NeverEnding Story'?"
    "Oh, it's from my solo career. I wouldn't dream of playing it with the band." (American Horror Story, S09E07)
  • Richard Ramirez killing Kajagoogoo (American Horror Story, S09E07)
  • Sum 41 (Saturday Night Live, S45E05)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Succession
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion:: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia