Adam Riff™

21. Céline Dion Carpool Karaoke (The Late Late Show Carpool Karaoke Primetime Special 2019, 05-20-19)

Stray Observations

• Game of Thrones Season Grade: C
• Barry Season Grade: C
• Black-ish Season Grade: C
• "Bat codpiece." (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E09)
• "Did you ask about the jade buttock eggs?"
  "No, I did not."
  "Butter cakes."
  "Buttock eggs made from jade that you put inside your butt."
  "I don't think they have them."
  "I'd have to check on that, for sure."
  "They don't have to be made of jade. They can be made of anything. But not silver, because, you know, otherwise…ouch."
  "He's joking."
  "There's a silver egg in my butt." (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E09)

"If you saw a man dressed in this mask, would you think it was a mood killer, or would you come?" (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E09)

• "There was a girl, though, right?"
  "Oh… Yeah. Oh, I just started seeing this woman."
  "There you go. Yeah, I thought so."
  "It's for my nosebleeds." (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E09)
• "Half the bats you see, they are just vampires that have thrown terrible orgies and they are too ashamed to regain their vampire form. They just flit around. Shame bats. Bats full of shame." (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E09)
• "Chinese jumping vampire."
  "Brought my cousin."
  "Is he a Babadook?"
  "No, actually, I'm a Badabook. You know, like, uh, 'bada-bing, Badabook.'" (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E09)
• "Is that fur?"
  "Yes, but it's okay because it had a stroke." (Fleabag, S02E01)
• "Just get your hands off my miscarriage!" (Fleabag, S02E01)
• "'Scuse me, I've got dry forearms." (Fleabag, S02E02)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Homecoming
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two

20. Duel to D'spayre (Cloak and Dagger, S02E08)

Stray Observations

• "I don't have love here. I only have fear."
  […]
  "All right, then. Let it be fear." (Game of Thrones, S08E05)
• "I'm the man who killed Jaime Lannister." (Game of Thrones, S08E05)
• "I just hate to see smart women throw away their political careers on powerful men who only see them as the gash of least resistance." (Veep, S07E07)
• "I'm not gonna die, 'cause I got the heart and the twat of a high school cheerleader who's only done anal!" (Veep, S07E07)
• Sue (Veep, S07E07)
• Veep Season Grade: C
• Shark Tank Season Grade: C
• "What's wrong, Dre? Did another thing ruin Empire?" (Black-ish, S05E22)
• "You seduce me. I am just stupid human man. 'Oh, ouch, ouch, my balls. …I'd love to drink beer.'" (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E08)
• ♫: Horny Toad – "Vampire Ska" (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E08)
• "Now I can pay for Showtime. Find out who or what 'SMILF' is." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S06E17)
• "Obvious fake name."
  "Or is it so insane that there's no way it's fake? If you're trying not to draw attention, why not go with something like 'John Smith'?"
  "From Pocahontas?! Uh, yeah, way to fly under the radar!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S06E17)
• "Let's see this tip, this groundbreaking tip that threatens to blow the case wide open."
  "Okay, I know this tone. Here comes petty Holt."
  "Nah, bitch, I'm not being petty."
  "You just said 'nah, bitch'!"
  "Show me the tip."
  "[sigh] Title of your sex tape." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S06E17)
• "I've been sitting in my office wallowing in my hopelessness and eating the saddest food known to mankind: ice cream."
  "Okay, well, it's time to put that aside and pull out whatever food you eat when you're happy."
  "Dry beans?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S06E17)
• "Are you friends with the Fyre Festival guy?"
  "Best friends. He got a bum rap. You can learn about it when my documentary comes out." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S06E18)
• Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season Grade: C
• Better Things Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Homecoming
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two

19. The Vampiric Council (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E07)

Stray Observations

• "Heard you were broken in." (Game of Thrones, S08E04)
• "We can live together."
  "We can. I've just told you how." (Game of Thrones, S08E04)
• "Cocks are important, I'm afraid." (Game of Thrones, S08E04)
• "Take care of yourself, Barry."
  "Stay off the 405, man." (Barry, S02E06)
• "I don't know if you remember this or not, but you killed somebody and got away with it." (Barry, S02E06)
• "I am so late for my escape room." (Barry, S02E06)
• "I recently bought an English football club."
  "Oh, wonderful."
  "Leeds United. No English players, so pretty good team." (Veep, S07E06)
• "And as a sign of respect, we have decided to bury you betwixt my two favourite vaginas: that of my wife, and my mother." (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E07)
• Batista (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E07)
• "What are you doing?"
  "I'm warming my face. It's so cold in here."
  "Well, it's an LED light."
  "Oh."
  "There's no way we could have fffire. The fire marshals would have a ffffit." (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E07)
• "Cheddar, you duplicitous bitch." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S06E16)
• ♫: Bomb the Bass – "Megablast [Hip Hop on Precinct 13]" (Dead Pixels, S01E06)
• Dead Pixels Season Grade: D

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Homecoming
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two