Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

40. Muslim Role Play (Ramy, S03E06)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • David Tennant's son masturbating naked in a window (House of the Dragon, S01E06)
  • "I took the liberty of beginning without you, Your Grace. It seemed a sin to let such a pie grow cold."
    "You did wisely, Lord Larys. Though you had no such worry about the wine, surely."
    "Meat without wine is also a sin." (House of the Dragon, S01E06)
  • "Laenor…bring him. We'll need every sword we can muster." (House of the Dragon, S01E06)
  • "Everyone get behind my abs!" (Rick and Morty, S06E04)
  • ♫: "Night Family [feat. Ryan Elder]" (Rick and Morty, S06E04)
  • "Whoa. How long have we been asleep?"
    "Ah, can't be that long. Oh, my God! No! They killed the Choco Taco!" (Rick and Morty, S06E04)
  • "It's all good. It's good in the hood. Ain't no thing."
    "You really need to hang out with more Black people." (Reboot, S01E04)
  • "She gave Timberly her immunity thong and then the naked council sent her into sex-ile." (Reboot, S01E04)
  • "Timberly and I are friends."
    "She is a reality star. She didn't come here to make friends." (Reboot, S01E04)
  • "Oh my God. Stop lecturing me. You haven't come out to your dad."
    "Okay. It's hardly the same thing. Your dad's friend got a blowjob from Paul Lynde. Back in our town, my dad tried to ban dancing." (Reboot, S01E04)
  • "Fuck, we need a code."
    "Try 1491." (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
  • "Life's hard. One of the hardest." (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
  • "The world's your Indian taco." (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
  • Brandon Boyd (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
  • "I do have one toothbrush. Uh… It's kind of multipurpose, but you're all welcome to it." (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
  • "I mean, everyone knows him for Lost Boys, but he did Thunderdome, too, and he toured with Tina Turner for years."
    "Is that the guy in the diaper?"
    "No, that's, um, Ton Ton Tattoo.
    "Oh. Wait, so there's two sax players in Thunderdome?"
    "No, Tim Cappello wasn't in the movie. He-he just did the song in the credits."
    "Oh. Got it."
    "Daniel showed me that movie."
    "Which one?"
    "Both, actually."
    "Same."
    "He was my hero, you know?"
    "Tim Cappello?"
    "No. Uh, Daniel." (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
  • "He/She…Hers/His/They…genderless being, we're here for our friend Daniel." (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
  • "I love you, bitches." (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
  • Tim Cappello (Reservation Dogs, S02E10)
  • </Reservation Dogs, S02>
  • "Med nog." (Andor, S01E04)
  • "Security is an illusion. You want security? Call the Navy. Launch a regiment of troopers. We are healthcare providers. We treat sickness. We identify symptoms. We locate germs whether they arise from within or have come from the outside. The longer we wait to identify a disorder, the harder it is to treat the disease." (Andor, S01E04)
  • "In the next three days, if for any reason… Look at me!" (Andor, S01E04)
  • "You can't just swing from franchise to franchise."
    "Then why do I have to see Chris Pratt everywhere?" (Abbott Elementary, S02E02)
  • "Wait, so she was petering out on me? Do you know why?"
    "Well, I think she said you a 'broke bwah.'"
    "I think she's saying I'm a 'broke boi.'" (Abbott Elementary, S02E03)
  • ♫: HAIM – "Now I'm In It" (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E07)
  • ♫: Hanson – "MMMBop" (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E07)
  • "You know what? Apologize to my Prius Prime with money." (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E07)
  • ♫: Tierra Whack – "Peppers and Onions" (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E07)
  • "Abomaste" (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E07)
  • "Can we, um, stop to get some food real fast?"
    "We'll be late. Dig in my purse and get you some cough drops if you're hungry." (Atlanta, S04E04)
  • Gunna playing Uno (Atlanta, S04E04)
  • "Y'all, y'all. Gloria kidnapped Dad."
    "Look, you can't kidnap your own dad. I don't have time to explain it to you right now, but the word 'kid' is in it. So, mathematically, it's impossible." (Atlanta, S04E04)
  • "Look, y'all got a—y'all got another way out of here? Like a secret way?"
    "There's another way out back."
    "Word?"
    "We call it the 'Shmurda exit.' Bobby had it built when he was recording here for a month. He had the FBI and three baby mamas after him. Couldn't take any chances."
    "Didn't help him, though."
    "Mm-mm."
    "No. But it might help you."
    "Wait, nah, nah, th-this ain't gonna work. She's gonna see us."
    "Don't worry, she won't see you. The only thing is, you can't look back, not even a glance. That's how this works." (Atlanta, S04E04)
  • "Just bring us the goddamn bread!" (Atlanta, S04E04)
  • Grandpa finally perking up at the mention of Redbox (Atlanta, S04E04)
  • "It would seem I'm not the only Elf alive who has been transformed by darkness. Perhaps your search for Morgoth's successor should have ended in your own mirror." (The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power, S01E06)
  • "I need you plant some evidence in an archeological site that would seem to depict early queer humans wearing a single dangly earring." (Los Espookys, S02E03)
  • "Okay, Mr. Professor Robert Roberts, so we will need two skeletons… Oh no, three skeletons, just in case. It's going to be cheaper for you." (Los Espookys, S02E03)
  • "So, we need to start spreading lies about his opponent in a clear and concise way."
    "Okay, so memes?"
    "Yes! Impact font and everything." (Los Espookys, S02E03)
  • "I really need you guys to fucking nail this, so that I can finally impress the Secretary of State and become the U.S. Ambassador to Miami. I can't wait. Working at a pool desk…getting into a really toxic relationship with Pitbull…taking weird meetings with conservative Latins. Oh, all the shrimp I can eat." (Los Espookys, S02E03)
  • "You could do anything. You could be a nurse, a construction worker, a police officer, an operations manager." (Los Espookys, S02E03)
  • "A demonstration will now begin at staircase number five." (Los Espookys, S02E03)
  • "Our traditions have a lot in common."
    "Yeah, I-I've always felt that—that we share this deep…Christmas-less-ness, you know?" (Ramy, S03E01)
  • "The list is Indian, China, Dominican Republic, Jew, um, and—and those people, uh, the fucking island people—Bahama?"
    "You hate people from the Bahamas?" (Ramy, S03E01)
  • "Everybody watches porn. It's the Muslim drug. We don't drink. We don't do cocaine. We porn." (Ramy, S03E01)
  • "'Congratulations' is not normally a Holocaust adjective." (Ramy, S03E02)
  • "If it was up to me, I'd kick everyone out. Everyone can leave. Give it to Black people." (Ramy, S03E02)
  • "Listen, you're in good hands. We're trained by your people. The NYPD come here every year to train us." (Ramy, S03E02)
  • [♫: Bad Bunny – "La Difícil"]
    "Khalas. What is this?"
    "It's one of Obama's favorite pieces." (Ramy, S03E03)
  • "'Savages' by Megan the horse." (Ramy, S03E03)
  • "Let's Instacart." (Ramy, S03E03)
  • "I love Lebanese people. I think they are so great in branding. I mean, look at their country. It could be a disaster, and all that people talk about is their women." (Ramy, S03E03)
  • Robert Herjavec (Ramy, S03E03)
  • "You're going to die. If we're only here for a while, why not make it worthwhile? Die in style, okay?" (Ramy, S03E03)
  • "Let me pre-game you for Allah." (Ramy, S03E04)
  • "All the best brands belong to the same company. Nestlé owns Pellegrino. Coca-Cola owns that, you know, Mexican seltzer. It's all same bubbles. Let me own you, habibi. Be my Topo Chico." (Ramy, S03E04)
  • "I mean, I don't mean to judge, you fuck with no rules?"
    "I mean, a massage parlor? How— That's your rule."
    "What am I supposed to do? Go hook up with a random chick and pretend to listen to her podcast? That's like so many lies. God's like, 'Wait, you fucked out of wedlock and you didn't check out her podcast?'" (Ramy, S03E04)
  • "That's crazy. The bathroom reminded you of the TV show The Office."
    "Yeah, it reminded me of that too."
    "It reminded you of The Office?"
    "Yes."
    "When you go to the bathroom, you think about The Office?"
    "Yep. Every time."
    "Such a clear connection." (Ramy, S03E04)
  • "Your Latin. It sounds elevated remedial." (Ramy, S03E04)
  • "You are using our complimentary version of Pandora streaming. Upgrade to premium for an ad-free experience." (Ramy, S03E04)
  • French pronunciation of "Chick-fil-A" (Ramy, S03E04)
  • "Do you know what type of pepper is at the base of the sauce? Cayenne, chiles of Anaheim… Feliz is quite sensitive."
    "I'm a cat." (Ramy, S03E04)
  • "That's a beautiful carpet. I'll buy it."
    "That's not for sale. Yasmina got it for me. It's the first mat we prayed on together, back when she wanted to have children."
    "Hey, I can give you a child. I'll give you a child for the carpet." (Ramy, S03E04)
  • "Do you agree brown cultures have emotional relationships with food? I've found that there's an emphasis in brown culture on the acceptance as food as a form of love while also a criticism of those who gain weight." (Ramy, S03E06)
  • "You're smoking cigarettes? It's not good for the baby. I mean, I know you're having an abortion. But isn't it better to abort a healthy baby?" (Ramy, S03E06)
  • James Badge Dale (Ramy, S03E08)
  • "The Quran Is the Original Blockchain." (Ramy, S03E08)
  • "And then I got this meme, Sheikh James Harden. This really makes me laugh, akhi. Halal comedy. Only engage in halal comedy." (Ramy, S03E09)
  • "Like Marie Kondo. She really figured out how to deal with immigrant clutter." (Ramy, S03E10)
  • "Congratulations" callback (Ramy, S03E10)
  • </Ramy, S03>

You Mexicans

When a Spirit Halloween store opens in a deserted strip mall, three middle school friends who think they've outgrown trick or treating make a dare to spend the night locked inside the store Halloween night. But they soon find out that the store is haunted by an angry evil spirit who has possessed the creepy animatronic characters. [source]

An angry evil spirit that haunts a vacant retail space? Or an angry evil spirit that haunts seasonal pop-up stores?

I freely admit a movie branded with the Spirit logo is a bit crass; the worst kind of consumerism. But here's the thing: the Spirit Halloween store at the center of this film feels like an afterthought. I started to get the impression that the filmmakers didn't actually have the rights to use much of Spirit's stuff, and thus were forced to improvise with material that has very little to do with the store. [source]

Explains the titling on the poster.

From Strike Back Studios. What else has it released?

Next Halloween: Spirit Airlines: The Movie.

Thatcher's Techbase

Guns III?

Oh, it's Young Guns III!

I understand that Emilio and Lou are not young anymore, but the adjective is kinda critical to appeal to nostalgia, particularly since "guns" is such a generic noun.

Boosie can drop "Lil" and still be recognized; Lil B cannot.

Weapon 5 comes 35 years after the original, much like fellow '80s hit follow-up
Gun: Maverick, and the fourth Cop movie, Cop: Axel Foley.

The Fast and the Furious franchise is an outlier, being able to toggle between "fast" and "furious" in titles.

Guns III? Nope.
Young III? Nope.
Weapon 5? Nope.
Lethal 5? Okay, that works.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

39. Nonna Lina (Best in Dough, S01E01)


Honourable Mention

  • Double L (Los Espookys, S02E02)

Stray Observations

  • "I'm just saying, lies pile up. Like credit card debt. You retain an advantage by staying liquid." (Rick and Morty, S06E03)
  • "What the hell did you do in my holodeck?! Holy shit, you did a full 'San Junipero' in here? My god, Beth, there’s masturbating and then there's masturbating." (Rick and Morty, S06E03)
  • "Anyway, he's in perfect health in there and he can unroll when he chooses to but can also stay in metabolic hibernation pretty much indefinitely. It's a cool power to have, like if you have to fly coach or if Summer asks you what you thought of Wonder Woman 1984." (Rick and Morty, S06E03)
  • "No, no, she's the one who did that movie at South by Southwest I told you about."
    "What was it called?"
    "Thank you, um, for having seen it. It's called Cunt Saw." (Reboot, S01E01)
  • "I don't know. It might be too edgy for you."
    "You're talking to the guy who, uh, greenlit the fifth season of Handmaid's Tale."
    "So brave. So brave." (Reboot, S01E01)
  • "I, I, I want more people to see the potential I had when I came out of the Yale School of Drama."
    "Oh my god, you have such a large penis, why do you always have to bring up Yale?" (Reboot, S01E01)
  • ♫: Modern Baseball – "Re-Do" (Reboot, S01E01)
  • "'Music cue: St. Vincent's 'Birth in Reverse.' As the camera slowly pulls back, we fade to black,' and that's our show." (Reboot, S01E02)
  • "That song you wanted, that St. Margaret's, whatever the hell it's called, $80,000 for a song. Here. Here's a list of public domain songs. Pick somethin' you like."
    "'She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain.'" (Reboot, S01E02)
  • ♫: "She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain" (Reboot, S01E02)
  • Chicago Hope: Miami (Reboot, S01E03)
  • "Just be careful wearing them [Spanx] on a date. When a man undresses you, you expand like one of those mattresses in a box." (Reboot, S01E03)
  • "I heard that, too, Carrot Top. Or Carrot Bottom, I don't wanna make assumptions." (Reboot, S01E03)
  • "We don't need a bunch of dinosaurs in the writers' room."
    "So funny you say that, Alan ran the last two seasons of Dinosaurs on ABC."
    "Yeah, again, 'wrote for giant puppets' is not the mic drop you think it is." (Reboot, S01E03)
  • "Your vibe sucks. I walked the Trail of Tears and I smiled more than you." (Reservation Dogs, S02E09)
  • B2EMO (Andor, S01E01)
  • "Hurry up. Quiet down. Be silent in the presence of greatness." (Abbott Elementary, S02E01)
  • "Um, yeah, I've got a killer icebreaker planned. Most infamous parties in history? Donner, Boston Tea, and, uh, this one." (Abbott Elementary, S02E01)
  • "Anybody drive a beat-up sedan?"
    [everyone raises hand] (Abbott Elementary, S02E01)
  • "Um, hey, don't you have, like, a guy in parking enforcement or something?"
    "No, I got a guy in enforcement, but that's like a last resort kind of call." (Abbott Elementary, S02E01)
  • "Janine, what is going on? Unpaid parking tickets, landlord troubles, this outfit?" (Abbott Elementary, S02E01)
  • "Everything is chaos. And we all lose." (Abbott Elementary, S02E01)
  • "$20 in my hand is worth me in a bush." (Abbott Elementary, S02E01)
  • "Barbara had mentioned that there were once students here who needed ADA desks, and I doubted that somebody had just thrown those away, so I asked Mr. Johnson if there was storage here. He said, 'Yeah, I forgot because I'm a custodian and not some lil' storage-ass ho.'" (Abbott Elementary, S02E01)
  • "Okay, huge boobs. Congrats. Whatever." (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E06)


(Atlanta, S04E03)

  • Benny and Lil Rick Moranis = Benny Blanco and Lil Dicky (Atlanta, S04E03)
  • "God Saved Me From The Trap" shirt (Atlanta, S04E03)
  • "But if rapping meant you made money, then Cassidy would be a fucking billionaire." (Atlanta, S04E03)
  • "YWA + GRAMMYS = $$$" (Atlanta, S04E03)


(Atlanta, S04E03)

  • "What is D'Angelo? We are D'Angelo. Let me experience…D'Angelo." (Atlanta, S04E03)
  • Peanut butter and fried chicken skin sandwich with Lawry's Seasoned Salt (Atlanta, S04E03)
  • "I'm telling you, Grammys ain't for a Black man." (Atlanta, S04E03)
  • "I just remember it's not about what feels good. It's about…what survives." (Atlanta, S04E03)
  • ♫: Kodak Black – "Let Me Know" (Atlanta, S04E03)
  • "Uh… you OK?"
    "As OK as the classic and underperformed Rodgers and Hammerstein musical." (Little Demon, S01E06)
  • "When I said I was OK as the famed Pulitzer and Tony Award-winning musical, I wasn't." (Little Demon, S01E06)


(Little Demon, S01E06)

  • "But why an internship and not a job?"
    "Because there's no better way to be respected and show your value than to work for free." (Los Espookys, S02E02)
  • "Never trust a white Latina." (Los Espookys, S02E02)
  • "They're very sophisticated people. All of them earn points at the supermarket." (Los Espookys, S02E02)

Looking forward:

Pleasure Palace

// Toronto, Ontario, Canada

None of the public toilets I used in Toronto provided seat covers. No seat covers in a washroom in North America's busiest shopping mall. No seat covers in a washroom in a four-star hotel. No seat covers in a washroom in an international airport.


Only $40 USD!


C'mon, man.


The free gift? Fentanyl.

Openly French-Canadian

// Toronto, Ontario, Canada


With green papaya, comes great responsibility.


Thai and Italian is not a combination I'd encountered before.

That Italian classic, Cajun Tilapia.


[pause]


Uzbek cuisine and photographs of technology and sexuality is also not a combination I'd encountered before.


Canada's first coffee vending machine?


"If you ain't no drunk, holla 'We want Prenup!'"

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

38. Fish Love (Reservation Dogs, S02E08)


Stray Observations

  • "My name is Kevin! I'm a Marine. I'm 30. I'm a little racist but my best friend is an immigrant that translated for me in a generic overseas war." (Rick and Morty, S06E02)
  • "It's not every day one meets a fellow Die Hard enthusiast, Ms…"
    "Call me Die Hard."
    "Okay. Die Hard. Tell me. What do you know about Die Hard?"
    "What do you care? You writing a book about Die Hard?"
    "As a matter of fact I've written several. Every sentient civilization across the galaxy eventually develops the same myth. In Centauri, it's known as Tower Man. The Orionese have their Thornberg Cycle, and in Andromeda, it's called Foolish to Have Imagined You'd Be Able to Kill…all of them what you'd call Die Hard. The difference being that cultures like mine are aware of its importance whereas I'm starting to doubt you could even recall a single line."
    "Walkie talkie Die Hard, motherfucker." (Rick and Morty, S06E02)
  • "You're fine leaving eight percent of me to die?"
    "It's not your finest eight percent, Morty. And eight percent of anything is expendable. Eight percent of pizza is crust. Eight percent of the Snyder Cut was Batman dreaming." (Rick and Morty, S06E02)
  • "Why isn't anyone attacking him?"
    "It's fucking freezing out."
    "No, I think it's the sign."
    "Well, the sign from Die Hard 3 was clearly racist."
    "Obviously. But I think we went too broad. 'Everybody.' I mean who is that offending?" (Rick and Morty, S06E02)


Marvel sneakers (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, S01E05)

  • A Hard Wayne's Gonna Fall (Harley Quinn, S03E10)
  • "Suffice it to say, the scale of potential devastation was enough to make even me soil my boxer briefs."
    "And you don't shit your pants for anything." (Harley Quinn, S03E10)
  • "I'm both a maniacal force of nature, and I want free universal health care." (Harley Quinn, S03E10)
  • "Does she still put one giant cardboard box in the recycling bin so that nothing else can fit?"
    "Oh, my God, yes, she does do that."
    "But it's, it's just, it's like, what's so hard about breaking down a box? You know what I mean? Just hit it with your fucking bat." (Harley Quinn, S03E10)
  • "Let my death…define your entire life." (Harley Quinn, S03E10)
  • "Let's go get blackout on bulk champagne." (Harley Quinn, S03E10)
  • </Harley Quinn, S03>
  • "It is pretty wild in here. Kind of looks like a Marshalls now." (Atlanta, S04E01)
  • "Jamaica's a good one."
    "Mm."
    "But… Overrated is their weed, overrated is that movie Shottas."
    "Yo, that's a dab point."
    "It be doing too much."
    "Too motherfuckin' much, bruh." (Atlanta, S04E01)
  • ♫: Earl Sweatshirt as Blueblood (Atlanta, S04E01)
  • "Gyu-Kaku. We went on three dates, and I ghosted him." (Atlanta, S04E01)
  • "And he's the last American white I've kissed." (Atlanta, S04E01)
  • "I love spite. It's a pure, powerful thing."
    "Hmm."
    "It gave me courage. You know, I can count on it. I used it when I came back to Atlanta, you know?"
    "Spite can be…spite can be very powerful. But it can also leave you…depressed and empty. Goals stop becoming yours. You start becoming a…a book written by somebody else. Someone with no incentive for your well-being." (Atlanta, S04E02)
  • "Is this an 'eat the rich' thing? Are you AOC?" (Little Demon, S01E05)
  • "And with what authority do you speak, Elf? That of your people? Or are you a castaway, grasping for a handhold in a tempest?"
    "There is a tempest in me. It swept me to this island for a reason. And it will not be quelled by you, Regent." (The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power, S01E04)
  • Mi Puta Suegra (Los Espookys, S02E01)
  • "I can't bear listening to that woman and her little chunks of ham." (Los Espookys, S02E01)
  • "Allow me to take your Toshiba." (Los Espookys, S02E01)

Antidepressant Thursdays

// Toronto, Ontario, Canada


How do you do, fellow marts?

Toronto has a 24-hour Popeyes, but not a seven-day public transit pass.

Also, what do you mean the subway doesn't begin running until 8:00am on Sundays?!

Cannabis shops and notices of proposed development are absurdly ubiquitous here. In 10 years, Toronto will just be condos and dispensaries.

"As you get high, we encourage you to reflect on the land that you are on. These luxury condos are located on the Treaty Lands and Territory of the Mississaugas of the Credit and the traditional territory of the Anishinaabe, the Wendat, and the Haudenosaunee."

Zack Panther

// Toronto, Ontario, Canada

It's early afternoon on the second day of the 2022 Toronto International Film Festival. I'm at the Hyatt Regency Toronto, where TIFF's Press and Industry Centre is, pooping.

Someone enters the toilet stall beside mine.

What is that noise?

I hear what sounds like—

Is he… Is he masturbating?

I notice a shadow of his right arm.

Oh, he's definitely masturbating.

He knows I can hear him, right? Because he could definitely hear me…

After he softly orgasms, I see his bare right foot, then said right foot in a light blue sneaker.

Was he naked? Or did he… Did he ejaculate in that shoe?

[pause]

So: Press or industry?


It's early afternoon on the second day of the 2022 Toronto International Film Festival. I'm at the TIFF Bell Lightbox to see a film.

I go to pee before the screening begins.

Which washroom is…?

Nope, that's the women's washroom…

I notice a sign.

TIFF is committed to maintaining an inclusive environment for all of our visitors.

To solidify this commitment, TIFF Bell Lightbox washrooms are now only labeled by the facilities available in each room.

Please continue to use the washroom that is most appropriate for your needs.

Left: Handicap-accessible, stalls, urinals, sinks.

Right: Handicap-accessible, stalls, sinks, baby change table.

Dare the mystery masturbator use the right washroom?