Adam Riff™

13. A Quiet Place (WWE Raw, 16 Mar 20)

Stray Observations

• Kid Cudi (Westworld, S03E01)
• Marshawn Lynch (Westworld, S03E01)
• ♫: Death Grips – "Bubbles Buried in This Jungle" (Westworld, S03E01)

(Westworld, S03E01)

• "Fuck off." (Westworld, S03E01)
• "You take H sector, including the peripheral horseshoe."
  "It's called the donut."
  "No, it doesn't go all the way round. It's always been a horseshoe."
  "I call it a ringpiece. No, that's not helpful."
  "It's not important what it's called, but we call it the nearly circle." (Avenue 5, S01E09)
• "How 'bout this tough guy captain, huh? Alpha to the nut sack."
  "Proactive."
  "Yeah, like a yogurt." (Avenue 5, S01E09)
• "You've got to shit out of the back of the ship! This is basic shitting!" (Avenue 5, S01E09)
• "You no-good fuckin' side-shitter." (Avenue 5, S01E09)
• "Iris! You were like a co-worker to me." (Avenue 5, S01E09)
• Avenue 5 Season Grade: C

(Curb Your Enthusiasm, S10E09)

• "I'm so sorry again for the delay. I have diarrhea." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S10E09)
• "No one's down with diarrhea, Diane!" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S10E09)
• "Something wrong with a person supporting black and shit? Black licorice, black jelly beans, fuckin' blackouts, burnt toast… I don't give a fuck. I eat burnt toast."
  "Oh, so you must love pumpernickel."
  "Oh, fuck yeah. I take that piece of burnt‐ass toast, put it between two pieces of fuckin' pumpernickel, have a burnt‐toast pumpernickel sandwich." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S10E09)
• "I love Bowie. Little drummer boy. And the edgier stuff." (Breeders, S01E04)
• "Life is not my strongest suit." (Breeders, S01E04)
• "I've got a thing I can't say."
  "Ooh, what is it? Is it a swear word? Is it 'tits'?" (Breeders, S01E04)
• "No, we don't want to get married, okay? It's just a piece of paper. Now, Ally and Liam had the paper, but me and Ally have the kids, and kids beat paper in Kids, Paper, Scissors."
  "Although scissors beat kids if they run with them." (Breeders, S01E04)
• "Is Ava from Ava Gardner?"
  "Was it Ava Braun or Eva Braun?" (Breeders, S01E04)
• ♫: Moses Concas – "I Feel the Street [Live]" (Breeders, S01E04)
• "Dude, step the fuck off, okay?
  "Young man, I'm trying to help you. If you want to make a difference in this world, you can do better than distraction. What you need is an accelerant. What is the one thing you have in abundance? It's time. Youth is nature's purest and most fleeting resource. It burns brighter than magnesium. Of course, youth doesn't make you unique. What makes you special is what you don't have. What you don't have is a single thing to lose. That's what makes you interesting. That's what makes you valuable. All the fury you feel, put it into action, not reaction, and watch the world tremble."
  "Who are you?"
  "Oh, did you not understand? I am the accelerant." (Briarpatch, S01E06)
• The Isoceles Falcon (Briarpatch, S01E06)
• "Maybe we just watch in Diane's room."
  "Yeah, mine doesn't look like the inside of Terrence Howard's brain." (Black-ish, S06E18)
• Troll 3 (Black-ish, S06E18)
• "Come on, Mason, let's play Smash Bros. in my room." (Black-ish, S06E18)
• "I'm just, like, their Pac-Man. I'm just eating shit, just like [imitates Pac-Man]."
  "Pac-Man doesn't eat shit. He eats whatever the coinage is that he levels up with." (Dave, S01E04)
• "How is this art?"
  "I see what's going on here. You don't like Koons."
  "Oh, my God. This is not racial in any way, my man." (Dave, S01E04)
• "Fuckin' Young Thug." (Dave, S01E04)
• "Oh, I am culturally hip. I want to fuck girls who wear Pumas." (Dave, S01E04)
• "Last night, I chopped it up with the most famous rapper I've ever met – Todd Dillerson."
  "Todd Dillerson?
  "Yeah, Todd Dillerson."
  "Ty Dolla $ign?"
  Ty Dolla $i— That's it, Ty Dolla $ign. Yeah, him. I thought it was more formal to say Todd." (Dave, S01E04)
• "No skin off my clit." (Dave, S01E04)
• The Mask (Dave, S01E04)
• Ninja (Dave, S01E04)
• "Hey, are you the gay guy from Modern Family?" (Dave, S01E04)
• "You're horny for Gallagher?" (Awkwafina Is Nora From Queens, S01E09)
• "Oh, cool, he hangs out with Skrillex."
  "Yeah, and Martha Plimpton."
  "He's in Martha Plimpton's home!" (Awkwafina Is Nora From Queens, S01E09)
• ♫: Patrick Cowley – "Menergy" (Devs, S01E04)
• Mark Cuban (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S07E08)
• "Take the penises off the wall." (Better Things, S04E04)
• "You're a big fucking cunt, your sister's an asshole, and your other sister's great!"
  "Aw, thanks, mom!" (Better Things, S04E04)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Watchmen
Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Dave

12. Lil Quickie (Dave, S01E03)

Stray Observations

• The Outsider Season Grade: C
• "You guys know Bloody Mary? It's an old drink named after this woman who liked to set Protestants on fire." (Avenue 5, S01E08)
• "Right, I'm just gonna listen to this true crime podcast about that Greta Gerwig thing." (Avenue 5, S01E08)
• "I work in VFX." (Avenue 5, S01E08)
• "I'm getting gang buffeted." (Avenue 5, S01E08)
• "You named your axe Dolores?"
  "After Dolores Claiborne. It's my favourite axe movie."
  "It's a hatchet. Go to sleep. Blade side out."
  "I know how to sleep with an axe, mom." (Kidding, S02E09)
• Kidding Season Grade: C
• "This could be the pee Amazon."
  "We need a name."
  "Poober." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S10E08)
• "It's actually not funny, Jon Hamm." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S10E08)
• "You know what, Jon Hamm, it was nice meeting you." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S10E08)

(The New Pope, S01E09)

• "Europe has become irrelevant – an old abandoned shop window that doesn't interest us anymore." (The New Pope, S01E09)
• The New Pope Season Grade: C
• McMillion$ Season Grade: C
• "Sometimes accidents just happen."
  "Look at Princess Diana." (Breeders, S01E03)
• "Cindy's pudding shows are way better live." (Briarpatch, S01E05)
• "That's what journalism's meant to do – comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable." (Briarpatch, S01E05)
• "I would never eat Rachel McAdams' asshole." (Dave, S01E03)
• "That's Phish."
  "But when they gonna stop warming up, though?"
  "Oh, no. This is the whole show. This is what they do the whole time, man." (Dave, S01E03)
• "Your pussy is premium." (Dave, S01E03)
• "What-what is that?"
  "It is…called a Fuck Me Silly 3." (Dave, S01E03)

(Dave, S01E03)

• K-drama (Awkwafina Is Nora From Queens, S01E08)
• Primus (Devs, S01E03)
• "People have become scared of the tech companies, Forest. Really scared. AI is gonna create 60 percent unemployment. Instagram makes people feel like shit about their lives. Twitter makes them feel reviled. Facebook destroyed democracy. They use you. They need you. But they don't like you anymore." (Devs, S01E03)

(Devs, S01E03)

• "Guess who's walking the red carpet this Saturday?"
  "Chord Overstreet."
  "Who?"
  "Sam Evans from Glee."
  "No, me. Why would you guess that? I was clearly talking about me."
  "Okay, but for the record, I bet Chord Overstreet will also be walking one."
  "Stop talking about Chord Overstreet." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S07E07)
• "She was so young!"
  "For a redwood tree." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S07E07)
• "And I read him my all caps speech."
  "And I loved it. It was like poetry."
  ["Madeline smelled like dog crap."] (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S07E07)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Watchmen
The New AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Dave