Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

8. Café oy vey (McMillion$, S01E03)

Stray Observations

  • "Is that true?"
    "Well, it was true when I said it, like a marriage vow." (Avenue 5, S01E05)
  • "Do you mind if we don't talk about him? He's only there to stop his skeleton from falling over." (Avenue 5, S01E05)
  • "Do you know how we know Jesus was a real person? Because people didn't like him. He had enemies. If everyone has something nice to say about you, history questions your very existence." (Kidding, S02E03)
  • "Did you lose your virginity to Julie Andrews? Mary Poppins?"
    "My sister calls her Cherry Poppins."
    "How old were you?"
    "I was 16 going on 17." (Kidding, S02E04)
  • "There's no defecation here." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S10E05)
  • "Do you know what the difference is between a whore and a saint? None." (The New Pope, S01E06)
  • "Sex has no value because it lives and dies in the present, but love doesn't. Love is dangerous because it looks to the future." (The New Pope, S01E06)
  • "What happened?"
    "Well, we tried to re‐create the classic Wrestle Kingdom Okada/Tanahashi match. I went for the Rainmaker, and I accidentally threw him into the wall." (Black-ish, S06E16)
  • "Why did you dye your hair the color of Tori Amos' butthole?" (Awkwafina Is Nora From Queens, S01E05)
  • Timothy Simons (Briarpatch, S01E03)
  • Harley Quinn Season Grade: C
  • "What kind of game do you wanna play?"
    "I don't know. I want something bleak and hopeless, like real life."
    "Oh. Do you know about Dr. Robotnik and the Mean Bean Machine?"
    "So Dr. Robotnik kidnaps the bean people to suck the joy out of this world. I think that's pretty real."
    "Would you consider yourself more the doctor or a bean in this scenario?"
    "Me? I'd be the doctor. Not 'cause I'm an evil genius, but because I'm a man. That was meant to be charming."
    "Uh huh. So I guess that makes me a joyless bean then."
    "There are worse legumes." (Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet, S01E05)
  • ♫: My Chemical Romance – "Welcome to the Black Parade" (Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet, S01E09)
  • Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Watchmen
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Rick and Morty

It's just a game

Lost in all the Sonic mania is the news that Gareth Evans (The Raid 1 and 2) adapted a mediocre PSP game for television:

Berlin Hidden Gem: Death of Nintendo Depicts Coming-of-Age Tale From the Philippines

"This film is Stand by Me … with circumcision."

While the kids are focused on familiar obsessions — video games, sex, even ghosts — the filmmakers surround them with specific insights into life Philippines-style, including re-created scenes of the public flagellation ceremonies that accompany Easter across the predominantly Catholic nation each year, as well as the traditions of tuli, or circumcision, for boys just prior to the full onset of puberty.

Wikipedia » Tuli (rite)

There exists two common ways of undergoing tuli: either the traditional way by a local village circumciser or having it done by medical practitioners in a hospital or clinical setting.

The traditional circumcision makes use of a curved piece of wood which is anchored into the ground. The protruding part of this apparatus is pointed at its end: the foreskin of the boy being circumcised is drawn over this protruding part. The circumciser rests his knife lengthwise across the boy's foreskin and then a quick blow is made with a stick, slicing the upper foreskin into two and exposing the glans. Prior to and while the procedure is being performed, the boy is told to chew guava leaves. The masticated guava leaves are applied onto the wound as a poultice and is bandaged. The boy is then to wash off in the cold waters of a nearby river.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

7. Kayfabe Bites (WWE Raw, 10 Feb 20)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "Have you seen Mr. Judd's skulls of the four Beatles?"
    "Four Beatles? John Lennon was cremated, wasn't he?"
    "All right, keep that to yourself. I think one of the skulls is actually Micky Dolenz." (Avenue 5, S01E04)
  • Dick Van Dyke (Kidding, S02E02)

(9 Feb 20)

  • ♫: Millie Turner – "Night Running" (The New Pope, S01E05)
  • "This is the flope right here." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S07E03)

(14 Feb 20)

  • "There's no such thing as a 40-year-old woman in gaming." (Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet, S01E04)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Watchmen
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Rick and Morty

Eliminator Boat Duel

Today I learned that at least 10 Colorado mountain town music festivals exist.

Assuming the Colorado Tourism Office paid Rolling Stone to publish this, wouldn't you want people to know about all of your state's mountain town music festivals of 2020?

What aren't they telling us about the Colorado mountain town music festivals of 2020 that didn't make the cut?

Virginia is for nightlife lovers?

"The definitive mountain-town-music-festival-lover's guide to Colorado" – better, no?


Submitted for the approval of English 101

truTV's new series Hot Ones: The Game Show is set to make its debut on Tuesday, February 18.

In each episode, Sean Evans welcomes fans into the "Pepperdome" to compete against one another by answering trivia questions and eating increasing mouth-scorching hot wings for $25,000.

This dude has parlayed eating hot wings into three series.

A hot-food-centric travelogue can't be far off.

Hot Ones × Beanboozled: Some wings are blazing hot, some have unexpected flavours.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

6. Marilyn Manson (The New Pope, S01E04)

Honourable Mention

  • Three Stooges (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S10E03)

Stray Observations

  • "I have a thick skin, Rav. I mean, I fought in the Huawei Wars." (Avenue 5, S01E03)
  • "I'll hire the actors now."
    "They gotta be sad looking and non-union."
    "One thing usually means the other." (Avenue 5, S01E03)
  • "F me. F me with a…CB."
    "What the fuck is a CB?"
    "Oh, um, uh, cheese baguette."
    "Well, this is classic passenger liaison, Karen. You've gotta go out there, and you've gotta liaise them up the A with a very cheesy baguette." (Avenue 5, S01E03)
  • "You're blithely eating an apple here."
    "There's no other way to eat an apple but blithely. That's how apples are eaten."
    "I think you're incorrect about that. My dad ate angry apples all the time."
    "An angry apple?"
    "He communicated a tremendous amount of hostility."
    "Cannot eat an apple angry. It's impossible."
    "In fact, I think there are a lot of emotional colors available when eating an apple." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S10E03)
  • "Marilyn Manson doesn't know who I am."
    "Marilyn Manson doesn't know who he is."
    "The Church I have in mind must be better at informing people. Every Marilyn in the world should know reflexively who the pope is. This is not vanity. This is necessity. Um, as for them knowing who they are, there's always time for that." (The New Pope, S01E04)
  • "And what type of food is a McNugget?"
    "Some type of a…paella?"
    "You had to know that was a bad guess." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S07E01)
  • "She's serving my favourite dessert: carrots." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S07E02)
  • "No photos of Wuntch."
    "That's because vampires don't appear on film. Perhaps we should be looking for a 17th-century woodblock print." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S07E02)
  • "But you said I could come."
    "I just think Broadway star Sutton Foster is gonna like the other guy a little bit better." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S07E02)
  • "How dare you try to weasel out of this when the love of my life is splattered all over that room."
    "The chair?"
    "Get her name out of your mouth!"
    "Her name is the chair?"
    "I warned you!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S07E02)
  • "Hey! Watch the hair, shitbag. I can't pull off a Felicity season two."
    "No one can. Not even Felicity itself." (Harley Quinn, S01E11)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Watchmen
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Rick and Morty