This clip from the Fox show Beat Shazam is the bleakest thing on television. Darker than Euphoria or Chernobyl. I implore you to watch the entire clip pic.twitter.com/exocXvCaVg — Mike Abrusci (@mikeabrusci) July 15, 2019 28. Duel of the Fates (Beat Shazam, S03E07) Stray Observations…

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27. Joey Chestnut trains to eat 70+ hot dogs (30 for 30: The Good, the Bad, the Hungry, 07-02-19) Honourable Mention Micropenis (Euphoria, S01E03) Stray Observations "Look, why don't you just tell us what you're trying to do, and we can tell you how we…

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26. Udiquitous (Euphoria, S01E02) Stray Observations "Let's hover the fuck out of here." (Perpetual Grace, LTD, S01E04) "Hey, I'm Ethan." "Please don't be a mass shooter." (Euphoria, S01E02) ♫: Gabriel Black and Phem – "Dead Yet" (Euphoria, S01E02) ♫: Unreleased Labrinth song over end credits…

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25. Windmills (Holey Moley, S01E01) Stray Observations "This is snake repellent." "Yep." "We wanted something to attract snakes." "Like snake cologne?" "Yeah." "We don't sell that. I don't think anyone makes that product. Why would they?" "What do they like?" "Yeah, what are rattlesnakes into?"…

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24. Al Pastor (Perpetual Grace, LTD, S01E02) Stray Observations "This is my first furlough earned through 900 hours of prison rodeo clowning, which is, you know, tough on the bod. But I have researched multiple franchising opportunities, and LensCrafters, can I say, is just number…

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23. Imperial March (Tucker Carlson Tonight, 06-05-19) Stray Observations "I am bathed in the blood of the lamb, you spic." (Perpetual Grace, LTD, S01E01) Chernobyl Season Grade: B Warrior Season Grade: C "I fucked a polar bear and still couldn't get you out of my…

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22. High School Bruisical (Cobra Kai, S02E10) Stray Observations Killing Eve Season Grade: D Fosse/Verdon Season Grade: C "I won't have my semen stolen again!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E10) "You are a goader, Guillermo is a goader… You saw an opportunity to…

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21. Céline Dion Carpool Karaoke (The Late Late Show Carpool Karaoke Primetime Special 2019, 05-20-19) Stray Observations Game of Thrones Season Grade: C Barry Season Grade: C (Chernobyl, S01E03) Black-ish Season Grade: C "Bat codpiece." (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E09) "Did you ask…

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20. Duel to D'spayre (Cloak and Dagger, S02E08) Stray Observations "I don't have love here. I only have fear." […] "All right, then. Let it be fear." (Game of Thrones, S08E05) "I'm the man who killed Jaime Lannister." (Game of Thrones, S08E05) "I just hate…

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19. The Vampiric Council (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E07) Stray Observations "Heard you were broken in." (Game of Thrones, S08E04) "We can live together." "We can. I've just told you how." (Game of Thrones, S08E04) "Cocks are important, I'm afraid." (Game of Thrones,…

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18. Barry vs. Lily (Barry, S02E05) Stray Observations ♫: Ramin Djawadi – "The Night King" (Game of Thrones, S08E03) Nunchucks (Barry, S02E05) "Yowie wowie!" (WWE Raw, 04-29-19) "He was off doing photo shoots, commercials, speaking at long snapping conventions…" "Is that a thing?" "In Canada,…

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17. Focus group (I Think You Should Leave Now with Tim Robinson, S01E03) Honourable Mention Firefly Fun House (WWE Raw, 04-22-19) Fully loaded nachos (I Think You Should Leave Now with Tim Robinson, S01E04) Honk if you're horny (I Think You Should Leave Now with…

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16. Simon Devious' Crew (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E04) Honourable Mention Conan Learns How To Survive In The Australian Bush (Conan Without Borders: Australia, 04-17-19) Stray Observations "So, you know what, Thomas Friedman? You are bad at writing, and nobody likes you." (Barry,…

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15. Haven's Gate (Shark Tank, S10E18) Honourable Mention Bray Wyatt, Children's Puppeteer OF DOOM (WWE Raw, 04-08-19) Sam's fecal marathon (Better Things, S03E07) Stray Observations "Gene Cousineau Is Twelve Angry Men." (Barry, S02E02) "Dan fucked you?" "Mm-hmm." "What, were you wearing a full-length mirror?" (Veep,…

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14. Ronda Rousey, Becky Lynch, and Charlotte Flair are arrested (WWE Raw, 04-01-19) Stray Observations "You can't just walk out. This isn't a Terrence Malick movie." (Veep, S07E01) "I, uh, just had to get away from Blue Is the Most Annoying Color." (Veep, S07E01) "I…

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13. CrazySexyCool (Fresh Off the Boat, S05E20) Honourable Mention Eliot × The Pretenders (The Magicians, S04E10) Stray Observations Katt Williams (Black-ish, S05E16) Miracle Workers Season Grade: D "Look who's up: Trump and Aunt Lydia." (The Magicians, S04E10) "Last night, there were all these people down…

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12. Split (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S06E11) Stray Observations Killian (You're the Worst, S05E11) "I've never felt this way about anyone. Not even Dave Navarro." (You're the Worst, S05E11) ♫: Birdlegs and Pauline – "Mist of a Dream" (You're the Worst, S05E11) Rice conversation (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S06E11)…

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11. Guy Fawkes Panel (Kraft Punk's Political Party) The panelist in the red hat is my friend's brother. Stray Observations ♫: Brockhampton – "San Marcos" (Shameless, S09E14) Shameless Season Grade: C Crashing Season Grade: C "This is when it pays to have a little dick."…

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10. First Kiss (PEN15, S01E08) Honourable Mention Thong Struts (PEN15, S01E05) Killing Paul F. Tompkins (You're the Worst, S05E09) Stray Observations "No more 'thon." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S02E09) ♫: Peter Oren – "Pictures from Spain" (You're the Worst, S05E09) "I'd be jealous too if…

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9. The Ceremony (You're the Worst, S05E08) Stray Observations "I was doing real good without no head-shitting birds in here." (True Detective, S03E08) ♫: Jon Batiste – "Saint James Infirmary Blues" (True Detective, S03E08) True Detective Season Grade: C "A good drunk is fun. A…

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