23. Imperial March (Tucker Carlson Tonight, 06-05-19) Stray Observations "I am bathed in the blood of the lamb, you spic." (Perpetual Grace, LTD, S01E01) Chernobyl Season Grade: B Warrior Season Grade: C "I fucked a polar bear and still couldn't get you out of my…

Read More

22. High School Bruisical (Cobra Kai, S02E10) Stray Observations Killing Eve Season Grade: D Fosse/Verdon Season Grade: C "I won't have my semen stolen again!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E10) "You are a goader, Guillermo is a goader… You saw an opportunity to…

Read More

21. Céline Dion Carpool Karaoke (The Late Late Show Carpool Karaoke Primetime Special 2019, 05-20-19) Stray Observations Game of Thrones Season Grade: C Barry Season Grade: C (Chernobyl, S01E03) Black-ish Season Grade: C "Bat codpiece." (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E09) "Did you ask…

Read More

20. Duel to D'spayre (Cloak and Dagger, S02E08) Stray Observations "I don't have love here. I only have fear." […] "All right, then. Let it be fear." (Game of Thrones, S08E05) "I'm the man who killed Jaime Lannister." (Game of Thrones, S08E05) "I just hate…

Read More

19. The Vampiric Council (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E07) Stray Observations "Heard you were broken in." (Game of Thrones, S08E04) "We can live together." "We can. I've just told you how." (Game of Thrones, S08E04) "Cocks are important, I'm afraid." (Game of Thrones,…

Read More

18. Barry vs. Lily (Barry, S02E05) Stray Observations ♫: Ramin Djawadi – "The Night King" (Game of Thrones, S08E03) Nunchucks (Barry, S02E05) "Yowie wowie!" (WWE Raw, 04-29-19) "He was off doing photo shoots, commercials, speaking at long snapping conventions…" "Is that a thing?" "In Canada,…

Read More

17. Focus group (I Think You Should Leave Now with Tim Robinson, S01E03) Honourable Mention Firefly Fun House (WWE Raw, 04-22-19) Fully loaded nachos (I Think You Should Leave Now with Tim Robinson, S01E04) Honk if you're horny (I Think You Should Leave Now with…

Read More

16. Simon Devious' Crew (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E04) Honourable Mention Conan Learns How To Survive In The Australian Bush (Conan Without Borders: Australia, 04-17-19) Stray Observations "So, you know what, Thomas Friedman? You are bad at writing, and nobody likes you." (Barry,…

Read More

15. Haven's Gate (Shark Tank, S10E18) Honourable Mention Bray Wyatt, Children's Puppeteer OF DOOM (WWE Raw, 04-08-19) Sam's fecal marathon (Better Things, S03E07) Stray Observations "Gene Cousineau Is Twelve Angry Men." (Barry, S02E02) "Dan fucked you?" "Mm-hmm." "What, were you wearing a full-length mirror?" (Veep,…

Read More

14. Ronda Rousey, Becky Lynch, and Charlotte Flair are arrested (WWE Raw, 04-01-19) Stray Observations "You can't just walk out. This isn't a Terrence Malick movie." (Veep, S07E01) "I, uh, just had to get away from Blue Is the Most Annoying Color." (Veep, S07E01) "I…

Read More

13. CrazySexyCool (Fresh Off the Boat, S05E20) Honourable Mention Eliot × The Pretenders (The Magicians, S04E10) Stray Observations Katt Williams (Black-ish, S05E16) Miracle Workers Season Grade: D "Look who's up: Trump and Aunt Lydia." (The Magicians, S04E10) "Last night, there were all these people down…

Read More

12. Split (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S06E11) Stray Observations Killian (You're the Worst, S05E11) "I've never felt this way about anyone. Not even Dave Navarro." (You're the Worst, S05E11) ♫: Birdlegs and Pauline – "Mist of a Dream" (You're the Worst, S05E11) Rice conversation (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S06E11)…

Read More

11. Guy Fawkes Panel (Kraft Punk's Political Party) The panelist in the red hat is my friend's brother. Stray Observations ♫: Brockhampton – "San Marcos" (Shameless, S09E14) Shameless Season Grade: C Crashing Season Grade: C "This is when it pays to have a little dick."…

Read More

10. First Kiss (PEN15, S01E08) Honourable Mention Thong Struts (PEN15, S01E05) Killing Paul F. Tompkins (You're the Worst, S05E09) Stray Observations "No more 'thon." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S02E09) ♫: Peter Oren – "Pictures from Spain" (You're the Worst, S05E09) "I'd be jealous too if…

Read More

9. The Ceremony (You're the Worst, S05E08) Stray Observations "I was doing real good without no head-shitting birds in here." (True Detective, S03E08) ♫: Jon Batiste – "Saint James Infirmary Blues" (True Detective, S03E08) True Detective Season Grade: C "A good drunk is fun. A…

Read More

8. Killing Bill Maher (Miracle Workers, S01E02) Context: Steve Buscemi is God. Stray Observations Bumping tucks (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S02E07) "I just don't get it is all." "There's nothing to get, Tim. I'm pretending that I have a vagina. It's very simple. What is…

Read More

7. Trash Talk (Pen15, S01E01) Stray Observations "These kids are up to no good. They are making way too much noise, okay?" "Noise? That's Tyler, the Creator." (Shameless, S09E10) (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S02E06) "Guys, I appreciate your help, but I can't do this. I've…

Read More

6. Boxed Waffle Mix Drama (Top Chef: Kentucky, S16E10) Stray Observations "We've all peed in things we regret." (The Magicians, S04E03) "Hank, bring me…a Charbonnay." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S06E05) "I also deleted photos of you from Halloween as Terri Schiavo." "Okay, I went as Terri Schiavo…

Read More

5. The Rocketeer Pack (Shark Tank, S10E12) Stray Observations The new WWE Championship, made of "100% sustainable hemp" and "naturally fallen oak" (WWE SmackDown LIVE, 01-29-19) "Yesterday, Paul F. Tompkins made me drink two liters of split pea soup." (You're the Worst, S05E04) "But you…

Read More

4. Daniel Bryan vs. Baby Boomers (SmackDown LIVE, 01-22-19) Stray Observations Jaboukie (Crashing, S03E01) Crystal Pepsi anachronism (Black Monday, S01E01) "Hey, Dre. Why so happy? Oh, did they just free Mumia?" (Black-ish, S05E11) Dangerous Minds + Finding Forrester (Black-ish, S05E11) "Spent Friendsgiving in Zermatt with…

Read More