Literary analysis in general is deeply disrespectful

Motorcycle Drive By, about Third Eye Blind's 1997 track by the same name, will premiere at the 2020 Tribeca Film Festival.

The short film will trace the backstory of the song and highlight how it miraculously became a fan favorite.

"It never had anything," frontman Stephan Jenkins says of the song's history in the film. "The only thing that has kept it alive and vibrant…is you guys." [source]

Wait, "Motorcycle Drive By" isn't their censored school shooting song???

All this time…

A 22-minute short on a Third Eye Blind deep cut sounds, to me, like a backdoor pilot for a docu-series on Third Eye Blind songs — 33 1/3rd Eye Blind.

"Semi-Charmed Life":

It's about a time when my friends and I were at a Primus concert and somebody brought speed. No one had done it before, and, like, three weeks later all of my friends were addicted.

"Jumper": About a gay friend committing suicide.

"Never Let You Go": About Charlize Theron.


Also premiering at the 2020 Tribeca Film Festival:

A Glitch in the Matrix
Are we living in a simulation? Acclaimed documentarian Rodney Ascher (Room 237, The Nightmare) tackles this question with compelling testimony, philosophical evidence and scientific explanation in this engaging journey for the truth.

Double feature with this:

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

11. And Ryan Lewis (Dave, S01E02)


I watched 17 hours of television this week.


Stray Observations

  • "I'm a criminal defense lawyer. I can believe anything." (The Outsider, S01E09)
  • Law and Order dun-dun (Dispatches From Elsewhere, S01E01)
  • ♫: Phosphorescent – "Song For Zula" (Dispatches From Elsewhere, S01E01)
  • "I'm just not sure a pope would choose to appear in shit. Wouldn't he pick, like, motor oil or pancakes?" (Avenue 5, S01E07)
  • "Tobey Maguire died. Throat slit in a prison shower." (Avenue 5, S01E07)
  • "The real hot ticket is the fecal pope." (Avenue 5, S01E07)
  • "Do you wanna go, uh, check out an old pope's face in some excrement?" (Avenue 5, S01E07)
  • "Hey. What's the matter? Why are you acting like a little foster child with a secret?" (Avenue 5, S01E07)
  • "Go play with your axe."
    "It's sleeping." (Kidding, S02E07)
  • Tyler, the Creator (Kidding, S02E07)
  • "You wouldn't have had this problem with the alto." (Kidding, S02E07)
  • "There's nothing more annoying than hearing about someone's dreams."
    "That's not true. Nobody hated Martin Luther King."
    "Well, somebody did." (Kidding, S02E07)
  • "You can feel anything at all. Anything at all, you can feel it."
    "Thanks. That's good advice."
    "It's not advice. I read that on the back of a prophylactic." (Kidding, S02E07)
  • "You are Duterte!" (Kidding, S02E07)
  • ♫: Jimmy Jones – "Good Timin'" (Kidding, S02E07)
  • "Do you not find that offensive?"
    "I'm African-American. I feel nothing." (Kidding, S02E08)
  • Blake Griffin (Kidding, S02E08)
  • "The Jets killed Carl – and a little bit of the Knicks." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S10E07)
  • "Oh, by the way, Seferian-Jenkins didn't survive the recovery, Larry." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S10E07)
  • "You're a bad person, Voiello."
    "No, I am an appalling person." (The New Pope, S01E08)
  • "I always wish I was one of those Asian girls that could draw Pokémon freehand and rip paper in a straight line." (Awkwafina Is Nora From Queens, S01E07)
  • Taco (Dave, S01E01)
  • "Lil Wayne?"
    "Weezy! What other Wayne you know?"
    "Brady." (Dave, S01E01)
  • "Who is this rapper that you are paying $10,000 to?"
    "YG."
    "Is it Why, G? with a question mark? Or the letters Y-G?"
    "Google will answer any question you have."
    "Is it Korean? Like, Wai Chi?"
    "Guys, I'm leaving right now. I'm hanging up."
    "Okay, but is it Korean? Is he a Korean rapper?" (Dave, S01E01)
  • "I have to wire $10,000 to a company called Blood Gang Entertainment LLC, attention or whatever: Nutti." (Dave, S01E01)
  • "Think of me as, like, a corporation. Like, when Wendy's tweets, for example, I don't think anybody thinks that it's actually Wendy."
    "No, because Wendy is not a real person, okay? And Wendy's isn't tweeting that Wendy sucked Dave Thomas' dick."
    "Wendy is a real person. It's Dave Thomas' daughter." (Dave, S01E01)
  • Dark Souls II (Devs, S01E02)
  • "Any French philosophy post-Rousseau is essentially a magazine." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S07E06)
  • "Wario cheats!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S07E06)
  • "All my kids want to do is eat toast and masturbate." (Better Things, S04E02)
  • Mike Judge (Better Things, S04E02)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Watchmen
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Rick and Morty

I'm HPV, don't let me in

We doin' this again?


Never forget.


Players Are Pushing Their Bodies to the Limit Speedrunning Nintendo's Fitness Game

On December 15, a player in Tokyo, Japan calling themselves Sakinyan started playing Ring Fit Adventure, Nintendo's exercise game hybrid.

Sakinyan was attempting to pull off the first world record run for playing through all of Ring Fit Adventure's surprisingly long story mode.

This staggering feat took Sakinyan a little over 18 hours, nearly a complete day of nonstop exercise.

The holy grail for Ring Fit Adventure speedrunners is trying to beat the game as fast as possible on the game's hardest difficulty, which sets exercise intensity at 30.

Sakinyan's 18-hour run happened with the game set with intensity at just one. At 30, you have to do both more reps and better reps; the game judges players more harshly.

On New Year's Eve, Sakinyan booted up Ring Fit Adventure and set the intensity to 30.

Sakinyan manages to keep going for an incredible 11 hours and 16 minutes.

G-D-Q! G-D-Q!

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


10. He Has Risen (The New Pope, S01E07)


Stray Observations

  • "You fucking killed it."
    "What?"
    "Like, I'm smiling. You killed it, like… [chuckles]" (Avenue 5, S01E06)
  • "Yeah, babies are like New Zealanders. Everyone loves them and the funny way they talk." (Avenue 5, S01E06)
  • Ariana Grande (Kidding, S02E05)


(Kidding, S02E06)


(Curb Your Enthusiasm, S10E06)

  • "Hey. What the hell's with your dog?"
    "What?"
    "He was growling at me before, like he was going to attack me, I was scared to death, then I went 'Heil Hitler,' and he suddenly walked over and just lay down."
    "What? Why would you do that?"
    "Why would it work?"
    "Did you put your arm out like that when you said it?"
    "Yeah, yeah. Like that."
    "I know what that is. When I trained him, I would put a treat out with my arm up, like that. 'Heel.'" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S10E06)
  • "I got plenty of ideas and shit."
    "Give me one off the top of your head."
    "Okay. Uh, uh… Pussy tea. Huh? All the taste of pussy without the commitment. Like, put that shit in a tea bag."
    "Well, I'll put you in contact and see if anything flies from it." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S10E06)
  • "It's nice to smoke."
    "No, it's not nice. It's right." (The New Pope, S01E07)
  • "God can fuck off! I only believe in you." (The New Pope, S01E07)
  • ♫: Lean Year – "Come and See" (The New Pope, S01E07)
  • "When you are young, you believe blindly in your own vanity." (The New Pope, S01E07)
  • "I do not perform miracles. I simply find myself at the center of coincidences." (The New Pope, S01E07)
  • ♫: Angelo De Augustine – "Time" (The New Pope, S01E07)
  • "There is one thing you cannot do."
    "What's that?"
    "Give strength to the fragile." (The New Pope, S01E07)
  • Timothy Simons (Briarpatch, S01E03)
  • "I'm such a terrible judge of character. I was wrong about Rosa, I missed all the signs with my cousin Jared…"
    "The sandwich guy." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S07E05)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Watchmen
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Rick and Morty

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

8. Café oy vey (McMillion$, S01E03)


Stray Observations

  • "Is that true?"
    "Well, it was true when I said it, like a marriage vow." (Avenue 5, S01E05)
  • "Do you mind if we don't talk about him? He's only there to stop his skeleton from falling over." (Avenue 5, S01E05)
  • "Do you know how we know Jesus was a real person? Because people didn't like him. He had enemies. If everyone has something nice to say about you, history questions your very existence." (Kidding, S02E03)
  • "Did you lose your virginity to Julie Andrews? Mary Poppins?"
    "My sister calls her Cherry Poppins."
    "How old were you?"
    "I was 16 going on 17." (Kidding, S02E04)
  • "There's no defecation here." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S10E05)
  • "Do you know what the difference is between a whore and a saint? None." (The New Pope, S01E06)
  • "Sex has no value because it lives and dies in the present, but love doesn't. Love is dangerous because it looks to the future." (The New Pope, S01E06)
  • "What happened?"
    "Well, we tried to re‐create the classic Wrestle Kingdom Okada/Tanahashi match. I went for the Rainmaker, and I accidentally threw him into the wall." (Black-ish, S06E16)
  • "Why did you dye your hair the color of Tori Amos' butthole?" (Awkwafina Is Nora From Queens, S01E05)
  • Harley Quinn Season Grade: C
  • "What kind of game do you wanna play?"
    "I don't know. I want something bleak and hopeless, like real life."
    "Oh. Do you know about Dr. Robotnik and the Mean Bean Machine?"
    "This?"
    "So Dr. Robotnik kidnaps the bean people to suck the joy out of this world. I think that's pretty real."
    "Would you consider yourself more the doctor or a bean in this scenario?"
    "Me? I'd be the doctor. Not 'cause I'm an evil genius, but because I'm a man. That was meant to be charming."
    "Uh huh. So I guess that makes me a joyless bean then."
    "There are worse legumes." (Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet, S01E05)
  • ♫: My Chemical Romance – "Welcome to the Black Parade" (Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet, S01E09)
  • Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Watchmen
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Rick and Morty