Treat yourself a round of sausage

Idea: A New York Times Connections game show.

Round one: Three contestants solve Connections puzzles. Alternating turns. One attempt per turn. $100 for a yellow group, $200 for green, $300 for blue, $400 for purple.

Round two: Same as round one, but the dollar amounts are doubled.

Bonus round: A variation on Pyramid's winner's circle. A contestant's chosen companion receives the four groups and feeds the contestant items. Dollar amounts are tripled. If the contestant solves the whole puzzle within 30 seconds, they win $10,000.

Idea: A rice cooker that also washes the rice, like a washer-dryer combo.

J-Kwon should interpolate Shaboozey's "A Bar Song (Tipsy)," and then Shaboozey should interpolate that song, and they should keep doing it, back and forth, forever.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

44. Crackheads (Shark Tank, S16E04)


Stray Observations

  • "Now, would you care to know who's got the smallest dick in Hollywood?"
    "It's gotta be one of the kids from Stranger Things, right?" (The Franchise, S01E05)
  • "And off I fuck for treacle pud on the beanbag." (The Franchise, S01E05)
  • "The dead do not menstruate!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E05)
  • "Lieutenant Alexa. Tell this piece of shit to leave."
    "Now playing 'Leave' by JoJo."
    "Wait for the chorus." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E05)
  • "I, too, was once CC'd." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E05)
  • "We ride for Hanover!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E05)
  • "Nothing more dangerous than a Black man with a fresh haircut." (Abbott Elementary, S04E05)
  • "A West Philly Darnell wants to fight Gregory."
    "That's how Fresh Prince began. We can't lose Gregory to Bel-Air." (Abbott Elementary, S04E05)
  • "Hey, Gregory Eddie! I heard you've been talking trash…about gay people."
    "Whoa!"
    "What?"
    "No, no, no."
    "Just… Just go with it."
    "No, no, break character."
    "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. First you cross me. Now I'm hearing tell of homophobia. That's not cool, man. We think my cousin's cousin might be gay. Now I gotta beat your ass for me, for Jabari, for him, and for Frank Ocean." (Abbott Elementary, S04E05)


(Disclaimer, S01E07)

  • </Disclaimer, S01>

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


43. Chappell's Show (Saturday Night Live, S50E05)


Stray Observations

  • "Look, he's here now, and he's the talent, so let's pre-vis our happy faces and go tell the man we hate how much we love him." (The Franchise, S01E04)
  • "Oh, he can be difficult. Believe. You know that time when we ordered takeaway and you assumed rice was included?" (The Franchise, S01E04)
  • ♫: Third Eye Blind – "Graduate" (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E04)
  • "Jordan loves me because I crush it, and you're all sitting around with your dicks in your hands."
    "Why not? It's our house." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E04)
  • "Plus, that real estate girl I've been fucking, she told me Staten Island, it's the new Bushwick." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E04)
  • "Nandor couldn't make me a vampire, and I can't make him a janitor." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E04)
  • "Lester, I have urgent business, so I need you to take over. Now, I trust you completely, but just know if you get anything wrong, I will destroy you. [pause] What? All he does is let in murderers." (Only Murders in the Building, S04E10)
  • </Only Murders in the Building, S04>
  • "Don't steal her struggle." (Agatha All Along, S01E08)
  • "Agatha, am I killing this boy so my brother can live?"
    "No, Billy. Sometimes…boys die." (Agatha All Along, S01E08)
  • </Agatha All Along, S01>
  • "Do you really not know who we are?"
    "Well, give me a hint."
    "It's a movie, starts with a J."
    "Jumanji! No, that doesn't make any sense. Um, Jennifer's Body."
    "What?" (Abbott Elementary, S04E04)
  • Ash Wednesday costume (Abbott Elementary, S04E04)
  • "Next up, we have Grace Jones with a sword!"
    "I'm Blade, bitch." (Abbott Elementary, S04E04)
  • </Like a Dragon: Yakuza, S01>

Blessica Blimpson

The thing about stealing Quentin Tarantino's personal 35mm print of Pulp Fiction is that he could just make another one. Then you'd just have a 35mm print of Pulp Fiction.

Sure, you could still make money selling it, but how many people want a 35mm print of Pulp Fiction? It's a buyer's market.

And if Tarantino didn't make another 35mm print of Pulp Fiction, how would you verify that yours was his personal print?


She also ditches an unwanted child to focus on her own self-advancement?

Curious how this film passes off Bartlesville, Oklahoma, its filming location, for Silicon Valley.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

42. Nixon (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E03)


Stray Observations

  • "I'm just nodding today. No dialogue. Nod away and let those clever little boys in India paint round me with their graphics." (The Franchise, S01E03)
  • "Not to man-explain this thing."
    "It's 'mansplain.'"
    "I don't think it is." (The Franchise, S01E03)
  • "I just want to let you know that you guys are out of hot water."
    "Hold your horses, Noël Coward." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E03)
  • [white noise]
    "I appreciate you playing my favorite song to cut the tension." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E03)
  • "Oh, Marmaduke. You are something else." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E03)
  • "What is your major malfunction? FMJ, 1987." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E03)
  • "You saw Ron Howard's nipples?" (Only Murders in the Building, S04E09)
  • "Did you know that she used to come to my house for dinner every Wednesday when you had your meetings with the weird heterosexual men's club?"
    "It was pick-up basketball." (Shrinking, S02E03)
  • ♫: Angie McMahon – "Letting Go" (Shrinking, S02E03)
  • "We are not cool, teenager."
    "Damn, using his full name." (Agatha All Along, S01E07)
  • "Hey, Shirley, order me a little fish mirror for Queen LaSeafah." (Abbott Elementary, S04E03)
  • </The Old Man, S02>

Time is deadass a gimmick

It's Sherlock Holmes without Sherlock or crimes?

What if House, but with Moriarty?

Didn't CBS just air a modern-day twist on Sherlock Holmes?

Yes. Elementary. 2012-2019. Lucy Liu as Watson.

Watson's showrunner also worked on Elementary.

A legal procedural in which Watson's non-binary, half-Latine son prosecutes crimes that he and Sherlock solved, to complete the triptych.


The Turkish show Muscles and Brains filmed recently in the Dominican Republic and will launch on October 28.

The format sees twelve men and women live together in a camp, where in duos they compete in intense physical tasks and complicated brainteasers.

The longer the men endure in physical, the longer the women have to solve the questions.

Competitors search for their ideal partners as they go, meaning strategic alliances and plots will form, with the goal being to outlast the others and win a grand prize. [source]

At least the women aren't cooking…?

Blacks and Asians.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

41. Sister Sister (Grotesquerie, S01E07)


Stray Observations

  • "Maybe a drink then and, uh, hopefully some wings as well."
    "I don't think they have wings, but there is a cum-themed Bundt cake." (English Teacher, S01E08)
  • "Guys, I'm on the root beer Wiki. It's true." (English Teacher, S01E08)
  • "Yeah. It's getting sad and sexual here. You know what's coming? Something really hot. ♪ I wanna hold the hand inside— ♪ Shit. It was supposed to be a whipped cream reveal but it got smooshed in the jacket. ♪ I wanna hold the hand that's true ♪ But it looked good before." (English Teacher, S01E08)
  • </English Teacher, S01>
  • "Hey, I'm going to brunch with Summer. I said you'd pay for it because you felt guilty about being weird yesterday."
    "You're correct."
    "We're not going to brunch in the '80s."
    "Being weird is expensive. Okay." (Shrinking, S02E02)
  • "After that, I cut and run. Left my entire Blu-ray collection behind. Agatha can keep my BowFlex." (Agatha All Along, S01E06)
  • "The U.S. Constitution established the framework for our government and included the Bill of Rights. But have you guys ever heard of Draco?"
    "The wizard or the rapper?" (Abbott Elementary, S04E02)
  • "I got a date this weekend, Jacob. Did you ever stop to think of that? And the guy's got a hot tub. In-ground!"
    "What's the relevance of that?"
    "I can't with this virgin." (Abbott Elementary, S04E02)
  • "You're being real cavalier right now. Maybe you're infected and that's the ringworm talking?"
    "Yeah, when's the last time you washed your legs?"
    "I do not have ringworm."
    "Okay, Robert F. Kennedy Jr." (Abbott Elementary, S04E02)
  • "I got ringworm. It was as horrible as I thought."
    "But we got it together. And look, we even have matching rings, so…"
    "No, no, it's not as cute as you think." (Abbott Elementary, S04E02)
  • "Robert has to stop reading, appalled by an intense feeling that troubles him. The anxiety and anger piercing his stomach has found its way further down, where the gash has swollen into an erection between his legs." (Disclaimer, S01E04)

Al Roker's Sweet Potato Poon

Nestlé makes Crunch Bar, except in America, where the Ferrara Candy Company makes it.

Nestlé makes Kit Kat, except in America, where the Hershey Company makes it.


Rowntree's created Kit Kat and licensed its production in America to the Hershey Company.

When Nestlé acquired Rowntree's, it had to honor the Hershey Company's Kit Kat license.

So long as the Hershey Company is not sold, Nestlé cannot make Kit Kat in America.


Kit Kat is Nestlé's best-selling confectionery product globally, so of course it wants the Hershey Company to sell.

But whoever acquires the Hershey Company will not acquire Kit Kat, one of the Hershey Company's best-selling products, with it.

No Kit Kat decreases the Hershey Company's valuation.

As such, the Hershey Company is not incentivized to sell.

Nestlé should cut a 'Marvel Studios Sony Pictures Spider-Man' deal with the Hershey Company to make better Kit Kat in America.


Wikipedia » The Hershey Company » Perception outside the U.S. »

The presence of butyric acid in Hershey's chocolate, due to the use of controlled lipolysis in the production process, results in a flavor unfamiliar to those accustomed to chocolate from other parts of the world.

In the UK, this has often been compared to the smell and taste of vomit.