Outstanding Character Voice Performance – Motion Picture
• Issa Rae – Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse [winner]
• Ariana DeBose – Wish
• Brian Tyree Henry – Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
• Daniel Kaluuya – Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
• Shameik Moore – Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Lol at the NAACP giving it to her over the milkman.

Drama Series
1. The Crown
2. The Morning Show
3. The Gilded Age
4. Slow Horses
5. Loki
6. The Curse
7. 3 Body Problem
8. Sugar

Comedy Series
1. The Bear
2. Hacks
3. Abbott Elementary
4. Only Murders in the Building
5. Curb Your Enthusiasm
6. What We Do in the Shadows
7. Reservation Dogs
8. Palm Royale

Limited or Anthology Series
1. Fargo
2. Lessons in Chemistry
3. True Detective: Night Country
4. Shōgun
5. The Regime

Plotting a Disney Emmy triple crown:

With Fargo and Shōgun seriously contending in Limited or Anthology Series against divisive True Detective: Night Country, run season two of The Bear in Drama Series against the middling final season of The Crown, somehow the only serious contender in the category.

Then campaign Abbott Elementary hard against Hacks to split votes, leading to an Only Murders in the Building win.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

11. "I'm Just Ken" (The Oscars, 10 Mar 2024)

Stray Observations

  • "I really don't see how you can stand this place."
    "Blur your vision, breathe through your mouth. How else does one get through life?" (The Regime, S01E02)
  • "You know who's gonna be a billionaire? Motherfucker who's gonna, uh, create a car that runs on piss. No more time wasted. You're driving across country… You drink water and Gatorades and shit, fucking coffees and shit the whole fucking trip. You pull over, take your dick out, put it in that little hole where the gas goes, and fill that motherfucker up. You're on your merry way. The Peeus." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E06)
  • "They grazed your lips with a dick." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E06)
  • "Hey, I think you're getting a post-penis bump." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E06)
  • "Little jizz. Jizz will knock it out of the park."
    "Warren Buffett never made a business plan having jizz on the face." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E06)
  • "You crazy, Bradley." (Abbott Elementary, S03E06)
  • "You know, I really admire the commitment to the middle initial, but does anyone know what the 'R' stands for?"
    "Uh, maybe Rashid? No. Probably… Probably Robert." (Abbott Elementary, S03E06)
  • "Go help her! Damn! What if she needs to reach a book on the middle shelf?" (Abbott Elementary, S03E06)
  • "Let's make sure that he's squeaky clean."
    "He wrote a Medium article…"
    "Oh, no." (Abbott Elementary, S03E06)
  • "Tell this milk-dribbling fuck smear I'm ready to go." (Shogun, S01E04)
  • "Hey, Mr. Johnson, where'd you get those shoes? Crappos?" (Abbott Elementary, S03E07)
  • "Why did she choose to make all the characters Jamaican?"
    "Just let her cook, Gregory." (Abbott Elementary, S03E07)
  • "You made my dreams and ambitions seem so ugly when it was all I had. I consisted of my ambitions, you fuck!" (Feud, S02E08)
  • </Feud, S02>
  • Magnum π poster (Invincible, S02E05)
  • Young Tupac Shakur (BMF, S03E03)
  • </Masters of the Air, S01>
  • The 178 Types of Women spreadsheet (Girls5eva, S03E01)
  • Bob Schieffer Face the Nation shirt (Girls5eva, S03E01)
  • "I haven't gotten that level of applause since I agreed to leave an airplane." (Girls5eva, S03E01)
  • "Just call me 'Ho Spice.' But don't write it down because it looks like 'hospice.'" (Girls5eva, S03E02)
  • "It's a damn boob desert!"
    "What is that a play on?"
    "'Food desert.' Keep up, Dawn." (Girls5eva, S03E02)
  • "Good gracious, this set list. 'Big P-word Energy'? 'A Gay Anthem by Hospice'?"
    "It's 'Ho Spice.' It should never be written down."
    "Even worse. Girls, this isn't Decatur, Georgia." (Girls5eva, S03E02)
  • "I used to do clean Kidz Club versions of N.W.A."
    "♪ Ducks are mean geese coming straight for the campground ♪" (Girls5eva, S03E02)
  • "Oh, stop the charadé." (Girls5eva, S03E02)
  • ♫: "Is There a Me?" Adele parody (Girls5eva, S03E02)
  • "I declare a Footloose!" (Girls5eva, S03E02)
  • "Well, when my fragrance, Thrust, was purchased by Terminix, I bought my mother a house." (Girls5eva, S03E03)
  • "Oh, no, that's perfect, because I'm about to be a slutting-edge she-E-O." (Girls5eva, S03E03)
  • "Wickie's just a real Sebastian Maniscalco." (Girls5eva, S03E03)
  • Streamberry (Girls5eva, S03E03)
  • "When I was living in L.A., I took a job doing background work on The Goldbergs, rather than go crying to mommy and daddy. Ever walk through a Jeff Garlin fart cloud, Dawn? Well, I would walk through a billion Garlin farts before I ask them for money again." (Girls5eva, S03E03)
  • "Gloria, I'm useless. I may as well be food on The Bachelor." (Girls5eva, S03E03)
  • "No! I forgot to unsubscribe."
    "That says, 'um, subscribe.'" (Girls5eva, S03E03)
  • "I need a Vodka Orbitz, extra weird little balls." (Girls5eva, S03E04)
  • "Torque is giving me a massive Home Alone doorknob."
    "A what?"
    "You know in Home Alone? When Kevin heats up that doorknob until it's glowing red-hot? I have that for Torque." (Girls5eva, S03E04)
  • "Thought about you being sad and it made me sad. Like Kevin when he missed his family. Even Buzz." (Girls5eva, S03E04)
  • Step and Repeat step and repeat (Girls5eva, S03E05)
  • "Yes, king! You went there. You should be Bill Burr." (Girls5eva, S03E05)
  • ♫: "English Lonely Boy" (Girls5eva, S03E05)
  • "Billie Eilish got $25 million for her doc. I can wear sweatshirts and have a brother." (Girls5eva, S03E06)
  • "I'm a P.C. baby!"
    "A what?"
    "My mom got pregnant with me with the stuff that comes before sperm." (Girls5eva, S03E06)
  • "I added Avatar to maximize searches." (Girls5eva, S03E06)
  • </Girls5eva, S03>

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

10. Original Hold Music (Extraordinary, S02E04)

Stray Observations

  • "You really are a mewling vulva, Mr. Schiff." (The Regime, S01E01)
  • "It speaks of a very unusual perversion. A man attracted to a thimble-sized fairy."
    "Tinkerbell fine as fuck." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E05)
  • "How 'bout Foots?"
    "Foot Zeckelman?"
    "Foots." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E05)
  • "There's nothing in the Torah about defamatory bricks." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E05)
  • "There's nothing in the Old Testament about defamatory bricks?" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E05)
  • "I don't tell you what to do with your semen."
    "Well, what am I gonna do with semen?
    "A normal man knows what to do with semen."
    "I do normal things with semen. I wipe it up and throw it away." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E05)
  • "Oh, anal leak. I can't do it." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E05)
  • "If he's not a warlock, he's most certainly a pimp." (Shogun, S01E03)
  • </The Traitors [USA], S02>
  • "Does he have the mind of a child or an old man?"
    "I want my raisins."
    "I can't tell." (Extraordinary, S02E02)
  • "Look, Carrie, you have been given a gift. You're single on Halloween. It's the perfect time to step out of your comfort zone. There's so many options: Classic slսt, topical slսt, scary slսt, slսt slսt…"
    "Can I be a slut on Halloween? Sluts don't have to pay capital gains tax, do they?"
    "Unfortunately, sluts do have to pay tax." (Extraordinary, S02E03)

(Extraordinary, S02E03)

  • "Why don't you come on in here and help me wipe, big boy?" (Extraordinary, S02E03)
  • "I've seen this before. A man in my village when I was small."
    "How did you drive it out?"
    "Well, we beat him with sticks. And it turned out he wasn't possessed in the end. He was just Portuguese." (Extraordinary, S02E03)
  • "Is it too late to be a slut?" (Extraordinary, S02E03)
  • "Oh, my God. Kiss." (Extraordinary, S02E04)
  • Derek Jacobi reading Jen's lies (Extraordinary, S02E05)
  • "Okay, triage! What's gayest?" (Extraordinary, S02E06)
  • "Stop titting my macarons." (Extraordinary, S02E06)
  • "Does he know his penis is still out?" (Extraordinary, S02E06)
  • ♫: Vundabar – "Alien Blues" (Extraordinary, S02E07)
  • "These are your character sheets. Study them, okay? They have to feel real, like whole, complex humans."
    "Mine just says 'girl.'" (Extraordinary, S02E07)
  • "But what about the city?"
    "It's just Milton Keynes. Who gives a shit?" (Extraordinary, S02E08)
  • </Extraordinary, S02>

Cerveza Cristal

Comcast should demolish CityWalk at Universal Studios Hollywood and better use the land to expand its constrained park. Could Super Nintendo World be split? Standalone Donkey Kong Country?

If you demolish CityWalk, you demolish Los Angeles' only true IMAX screen, but five miles away in downtown Burbank are three AMC Theatres in a two-block radius, anchored by the highest-grossing cineplex in America.

Also in said radius is Burbank's former IKEA. Replace said abandoned building with a fourth AMC, featuring the largest true IMAX screen in America.

Disney and Warner Bros., IMAX's biggest champions, are headquartered in Burbank.

Disney World should integrate FX and Searchlight IP into its World Showcase at EPCOT.

The black ship from Shōgun in the World Showcase lagoon outside the Japan pavilion.

Dr. Godwin Baxter's house from Poor Things in the United Kingdom pavilion.

And Disney World should create a Huluwood area inside Hollywood Studios with The Original Beef of Chicagoland, Paddy's Pub, Bob's Burgers, a Hell's Kitchen restaurant…

A theatre in which Only Murders in the Building's Death Rattle musical and Abbott Elementary's F.A.D.E. (Friends Against Drug Exposure) perform.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

9. Remembering Dipper (The Daily Show, 26 Feb 2024)

Honourable Mention

  • Art car fight (Furies, S01E08)

Stray Observations

  • "Does your husband have a very low-hanging scrotal sac? A lot of guys do."
    "Oh, my God."
    "How long is it? When he goes to the bathroom in the night, can I just say…"
    "No, you can't just say!"
    "I hear them slapping on his thighs."
    "It sounds like, you know…"
    "Get the hell outta here."
    "A flip-flop in a Mexican resort." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E04)
  • I came here in '72, clutching my rosary. Visions of the souls I would save. Then I learned the true tenets of the cloth: Silk, gold and guns." (Shogun, S01E02)

(Abbott Elementary, S03E05)

  • "It's just… It's not working. It's like a DC movie over here." (Abbott Elementary, S03E05)
  • "What is a choir if not a sorority for the Lord?" (Abbott Elementary, S03E05)
  • "I am not Christian enough for them."
    "All because you got a few piercings? If anybody can appreciate a few extra holes in their bodies, it's Jesus." (Abbott Elementary, S03E05)
  • "Zach has already started writing a one-man show about me. He's calling it Fleabag, but with an 'F.'"
    "Fleafaf?" (Abbott Elementary, S03E05)
  • "Is the dick that good?"
    "It's worth every goddamn inch." (BMF, S03E01)

(Furies, S01E01)

  • </Furies, S01>

Waves egg sandwich around.

Did you know that Travis Kelce is producing a documentary on Jean-Michel Basquiat?

Or that the company that gutted Sports Illustrated co-owns Shaq?

Salter founded Authentic Brands Group in 2010 after a career in financial services. It is a brand ownership firm that buys the intellectual property of celebrities dead and alive — including Elvis, Shaquille O'Neal and David Beckham — and then collects royalties from their use. Authentic launched a production studio that was involved in Elvis the movie and Beckham's Netflix docuseries. It bought O'Neal's brand rights and owns approximately 50 percent of his future lifetime earnings, from endorsements to his HBO show to his broadcasting deal with TNT.

"He got a lot of money from us [upfront], and [we] grew his brand exponentially," Salter said. [source]

Moments before O'Neal closed the deal to sign away half of his brand proceeds to Authentic, he turned to Salter with an idea.

"[O'Neal] says, 'You know all that money you're going to give me?'" related Salter. "'I'd like to invest it in ABG.' And that's how he became the second-largest shareholder of ABG." [source]

So Shaq co-owns the company that co-owns him.