Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

23. Imperial March (Tucker Carlson Tonight, 06-05-19)

Stray Observations

  • "I am bathed in the blood of the lamb, you spic." (Perpetual Grace, LTD, S01E01)
  • Chernobyl Season Grade: B
  • Warrior Season Grade: C
  • "I fucked a polar bear and still couldn't get you out of my mind." (Black Mirror, S05E01)
  • ♫: "Head Like a Hole"?
  • Black Mirror Season Grade: D

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Homecoming
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

22. High School Bruisical (Cobra Kai, S02E10)

Stray Observations

  • Killing Eve Season Grade: D
  • Fosse/Verdon Season Grade: C
  • "I won't have my semen stolen again!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E10)
  • "You are a goader, Guillermo is a goader… You saw an opportunity to goad and what did you do? You goaded it." (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E10)
  • What We Do in the Shadows Season Grade: C
  • Cloak and Dagger Season Grade: F
  • "But you're sure you're looking for Chinaman, right, Bill? Sometime white people kill white people, no?" (Warrior, S01E09)
  • "Sorry, but whoever had a miscarriage, could you take it to the kitchen, please?" (Fleabag, S02E06)
  • "I think you know how to love better than any of us. That's why you find it all so painful." (Fleabag, S02E06)
  • "Love isn't something that weak people do. Being a romantic takes a hell of a lot of hope. I think what they mean is, when you find somebody that you love, it feels like hope." (Fleabag, S02E06)
  • Fleabag Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Homecoming
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two

Looking forward:

FX went from airing nothing in Q1 to programming five nights a week.

No Achomlishments

C+C Music Factory is performing at Gathering of the Juggalos, and Village People are performing at Riot Fest.

I keep conflating this June's Shaft film with last June's Superfly film.

On the incel forum Lookism, users regularly Photoshop each other's selfies to show what they would like if transformed into Chads.

In forum posts, incels classify Chads by phenotype ("Keltic Nordid," "Gracile Mediterranid") and style (jock, lumberjack, vampire, pretty boy).

Netflix Show Idea: The Chads, a motley crew of Alpha men.

Pokémon Virgin and Pokémon Chad.

In Virgin, you can evolve your monsters via microtransaction. In Chad, your starter begins at level 100.

Eater's Digest: Sydney, NSW, Australia

Previously on Adam Riff™:

April 2019
mcdonald's / black star pastry / biang biang / gelato messina / ms. g's / bourke street bakery / acme / marrickville pork roll / paper bird / kurtosh / butter / aqua s / bl burgers / ciccone and sons / ester / saga / general chao / bills / yomie's rice × yogurt / saint peter / edition coffee roasters / mary's / grill'd / m.r hot dog / nomad / gelato messina / dutch smuggler / chef's gallery / banh xeo bar / black star pastry


(Ester) was the best restaurant I tried in Sydney.

Potato Bread (Ester)
kefir cream, trout roe

Blood Sausage Sanga (Ester)

Hanger Steak (Ester)
anchovy, harissa, onion

★★ Leftover Sourdough Ice Cream (Ester)
blackened sourdough crumb

★★ Mi Goreng Toastie (Dutch Smuggler)
mi goreng noodles, free range egg, cheddar, magic sauce

^ Southeast Asian fried noodle sandwich.

"Stoner's Delight Part 3" (Ms. G's)
doughnut ice cream, peanut dulce de leche, peanut and pretzel brittle, crispy bacon, mars bar brownie, raspberry curd, potato chips, deep-fried nutella

The General's Fried Chicken (General Chao)
too many herbs and spices served with house fermented sriracha, kewpie mayo

Thai Green Curry and Rice (General Chao)
salted coconut rice pudding with roasted rice, mango, chilli, and thai green curry ice cream

^ A dessert featuring curry.

Yomie's Purple Rice Yogurt (Yomie's Rice × Yogurt)
—Instead of tea and tapioca pearls, drinking yogurt and rice.

Chongqing Popcorn (Paper Bird)

Shallot Pancake (Paper Bird)
jamon and shiitake

Chocolate and Murray Cod Fat Caramel Slice (Saint Peter)
—A dessert featuring caramel made with fish fat.


While (Ester) was the best restaurant I tried in Sydney, it also produced the worst dish I tried in Sydney:

✕✕ Squid Ink Noodles (Ester)
caramelized yoghurt, potato

^ Utterly unpalatable.

✕✕ Korean Caesar Salad (General Chao)
lettuce, pork crackling, pickled ginger, fried garlic, seaweed seasoning, with kimchi buttermilk dressing

^ Limp cracklings, oppressive ginger…

Flame Canada Burger (BL Burgers)
beef pattie, american cheese, maple glazed bacon, chilli maple aioli, jalapeños, habanero poutine, on a chilli milk bun

Traditional Pork Banh Mi (Marrickville Pork Roll)
—Tasted off.

"Mapo Tofu" Agnolotti (Ms. G's)
tofu- and stracciatella-filled pasta, mixed mushrooms, mapo sauce
—At least you tried.

Richard's O Couto Peppers and Esperance Bass Grouper Taramasalata (Saint Peter)
—I expected a dip, but not a dip for blistered peppers.

Smoked Mushroom and Bone Marrow Empanada (Nomad)
—Waste of $8.00.

Sweet Corn Fritters (Bills)
roast tomato, spinach, bacon, avocado salsa
—This is a signature dish?

Sea Salt Soft Serve (Aqua S)

^ Bland ho.


Strawberry Watermelon Cake (Black Star Pastry)
two layers of almond dacquoise, watermelon, strawberries, garnished with pistachios and dried rose petals

^ Impossible to eat without a knife. I stuck a fork in and couldn't pull it out.

Mini Cake "Peggy" (Saga)
passionfruit bavarois, chocolate fudge cake, baked cheesecake, passionfruit curd, salted caramel, candied hazelnut, torched meringue

Choux Buns (Saga)
pecan pie filling, salted caramel chantilly

Banana Cream Pie (Saga)
chocolate biscuit base, salted caramel, banana cream, jack daniel's gel, vanilla chantilly

Nutella Laces (Butter)
shoestring fries covered in nutella and crushed hazelnuts

^ Too much, even for me.

Chicken Skin Gelato Sandwich (Butter)
crispy chicken skin, peanut butter, salted caramel gelato, peanuts, on wonder white bread

Frog Skin Melon Sorbet, Yoghurt Mousse (Acme)
—Not frog skin and melon, but frog skin melon, also known as Santa Claus melon.

M.R Original Hot Dog (M.R Hot Dog)
—My first experience with a Korean myungrang hot dog – basically, a corn dog with a chewy rice batter shell that you can opt to roll in sugar before enjoying with ketchup and mustard.

Japanese Soufflé Pancake (Edition Coffee Roasters)
cascara jelly, lemon thyme cream, ume and cascara sugar
—My first experience with Japanese soufflé pancakes.

Miso Banana Bread (Edition Coffee Roasters)
yuzu curd

Ricotta Hotcakes (Bills)
banana, honeycomb butter

Coconut Sorbet (Ester)
cloudy sake
—Served in a pool of nigori.

Burrata "Strange Flavour Style" (Ms. G's)
sesame sauce, chilli oil, spinach, peanuts

^ Needs to be served with something dry.

Macaroni, Pig's Head, Egg Yolk (Acme)

Roast Pig Head Banh Xeo (Banh Xeo Bar)

Mooloolaba Albacore Eye Chip (Saint Peter)
—Raw fish served in a chip made out of fish eyes.

Albany Bar Cod Stomach XO Crumpet (Saint Peter)
—Not a crumpet made out of fish stomach, just one topped with it.

Hoedeopbap (Paper Bird)
a rice bowl of cured kingfish and salmon roe, rice, scallion oil, seaweed

^ Korean poke bowl.

Shrimp-Brined Chicken Karaage (Paper Bird)
mussel emulsion, beer-pickled daikon

^ Gentrifried chicken.


Vego Burger (Peanut Butter Jelly)
dorito-crumbed cauliflower patty, mac 'n' cheese and romesco sauce, lettuce, slaw
—For unhealthy vegetarians?

David Chang's Ramen Gnocchi (Mr. Miyagi)
wagyu bolognese, salted buffalo ricotta

Japanese Forest Cake (Black Star Pastry)
hōjicha sponge, choya confit ume fruits, umeshu infused cream, matcha moss, leaves and bark of dark chocolate, confit whole ume
—Black Forest cake with green tea and plum instead of chocolate and cherry.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

21. Céline Dion Carpool Karaoke (The Late Late Show Carpool Karaoke Primetime Special 2019, 05-20-19)

Stray Observations

  • Game of Thrones Season Grade: C
  • Barry Season Grade: C

(Chernobyl, S01E03)

  • Black-ish Season Grade: C
  • "Bat codpiece." (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E09)
  • "Did you ask about the jade buttock eggs?"
    "No, I did not."
    "Butter cakes."
    "Buttock eggs made from jade that you put inside your butt."
    "I don't think they have them."
    "I'd have to check on that, for sure."
    "They don't have to be made of jade. They can be made of anything. But not silver, because, you know, otherwise…ouch."
    "He's joking."
    "There's a silver egg in my butt." (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E09)

"If you saw a man dressed in this mask, would you think it was a mood killer, or would you come?" (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E09)

  • "There was a girl, though, right?"
    "Oh… Yeah. Oh, I just started seeing this woman."
    "There you go. Yeah, I thought so."
    "It's for my nosebleeds." (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E09)
  • "Half the bats you see, they are just vampires that have thrown terrible orgies and they are too ashamed to regain their vampire form. They just flit around. Shame bats. Bats full of shame." (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E09)
  • "Chinese jumping vampire."
    "Brought my cousin."
    "Is he a Babadook?"
    "No, actually, I'm a Badabook. You know, like, uh, 'bada-bing, Badabook.'" (What We Do in the Shadows, S01E09)
  • "Is that fur?"
    "Yes, but it's okay because it had a stroke." (Fleabag, S02E01)
  • "Just get your hands off my miscarriage!" (Fleabag, S02E01)
  • "'Scuse me, I've got dry forearms." (Fleabag, S02E02)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Homecoming
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two