"what to play for that special someone"

for the Catholic…
2 Live Crew
"Me So Horny"

for the country music artist…
Terrence And Phillip
"Uncle Fucka"

for the homosexual man…
Outthere Brothers
"I Want To Fuck You In The Ass"

for the homosexual woman…
Village People
"Macho Man"

for your mother…
Sir Mix-A-Lot
"Baby Got Back"

for the perfect couple…
Eminem
"Kim"

for the playa…
Detroit Grand Pubahs
"Sandwiches"

for the playa hater…
Divinyls
"I Touch Myself"

for the politician…
Bloodhound Gang
"3.14"

for the premature ejaculator…
Celine Dion
"My Heart Will Go On"

for the prostitute…
Touch And Go
"Would You"

for the unoriginal fuckhead…
Sisqó
"Thong Song"

for Aaron Carter…
Nirvana
"Rape Me"