First rule of being a Stanford fan: you do not talk about how much they SUCK. Apparently, the Cardinal rule says that Stanford teams go far in NCAA play and then choke on a ham sandwich. It happened at the Rose Bowl in 2000 and it happened again today against Maryland. Mike "I'd like to buy a vowel" Krzyzewski, go back to hell. And take that 2001 NCAA men's basketball title with you.

Okay, my attempt to start a feud with Rory Brown was pathetic. Look, I'm currently in the market for a rival, somebody I can playfully fight with. If you're interested (and your name is not Hugh Riddell), e-mail me at roryhornblower@hotmail.com.

Drugs are bad. This is even worse.