With all due respect to the sticker and the kiss, did you see Siegfried and Roy introducing the player introductions? Oof.

Roy could neither speak intelligibly nor orient himself. That he shared the spotlight with suave 67-year-old Siegfried only exacerbated the sadness of the sight. Governor Schwarzenegger should've declared him a disaster Aryan.

Having now witnessed Kirk Douglas, Dick Clark and Roy post-stroke, I can safely say that if I ever suffer a stroke (and my family history suggests I will), I hope it's fatal.