I woke up early on Thursday and, while waiting for my alarm to trigger, I pondered how House misdiagnoses patients repeatedly before reaching the correct diagnosis, and a sketch popped into my head.

White House M.D.

"Weapons of mass destruction! No? Hmmm… Liberation!"

I officially awoke to morning radio personalities discussing a chin dildo.

During lunch, I stumbled upon video of Dr. Ruth demonstrating said chin dildo on Conan.

A link to a tattoo of a hot dog in a leather jacket led to a tattoo of a hot dog squirting condiments on her breasts and free records for anyone who gets a tattoo of a hot dog and a comment from someone who claims to have seen a tattoo of the Black Flag logo with hot dogs in place of the bars.

I…

WHAT?

related: Let Them Eat Cake

Twilight vampire's next role is Salvador Dalí.

The Evolution of the College Dorm

Tanning salons, pool waterfalls, Mongolian grills, and hot tubs large enough for 15 people are some of the amenities offered at colleges across the country — like Boston University's new 35-foot climbing wall. [source]

The highlight of my dorm experience was having an in-room bathroom.

Rutgers University's $55 million Rockoff Dorm features a Coldstone Creamery, a 7/11 and a state-of-the-art gym; residents also enjoy grocery delivery, room cleaning and laundry services. [source]

And then they graduate.

"What is your gr__test weakness?"

My answer: "I'm stubborn."

The truth: "I get off on provoking people."

I received an e-mail in my work inbox titled "Disastrous Failure."

[…] Your instruction manual is absolute garbage and the button menu is moronic. Thanks for fucking up what was a great vacation.

I was so tempted to reply: "You're welcome. ."

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