UPS nailed the casting for its latest commercial.

• What's Become of the Tech Scene?

Sometime around the third day of SXSW Interactive, I started forgetting exactly why I'd come. The Austin-based event I'd signed up for had been advertised as a tech conference, but when I arrived, I found it was just an all-purpose capitalist carnival.

Pennzoil and Oreo were there, as was Kleenex, which had rented a house-sized exhibit to show off its Cottonelle toilet paper to the estimated 30,000 techies in attendance.

It's like a convention you would see on The Simpsons. Conan should send Triumph next year.

• 2014 March Madne$$: The School Tuitions Of The NCAA Bracket
  Michigan State costs more than UCLA?