9. #1 in the U.S. Today (Ginny and Georgia, S01E08)

Stray Observations

• "Do you think I want Sim's Market Brand Milk Alternative for my coffee? No. I want the purple half-and-half, but nobody here is making half-and-half money." (Young Rock, S01E02)
• "Their crab cakes make me horny." (Kenan, S01E02)
• ♫: Labi Siffre – "I Got The…" (Snowfall, S04E01)
• "Can't trust Skully with his crucifixing ass." (Snowfall, S04E01)
• "And I know Skully crazy. But he always stay in his lane."
  "'Lane' like the New Testament type shit?" (Snowfall, S04E01)
• "Everybody came at us, trying to take our territory and fuck us up. Who you think kept 'em back? Louie? Jerome and his fucking speakers?" (Snowfall, S04E01)
• "No, I ain't gonna crucify. That's too good for that motherfucker. I'm-a stone his bitch ass." (Snowfall, S04E02)
• "Chet, I-I think your viewers—"
  "Viewer, singular. Helen got Netflix." (Mr. Mayor, S01E09)
• "Bring them in. Bring them all in. Let's have a meeting."
  "Your funeral."
  "We'll be at the 18th hole of the Brentwood Country Club. They're gonna use my ashes to make a golf ball, and Phil Mickelson's gonna hit a drive at sunset. This will be nothing like that." (Mr. Mayor, S01E09)
• "I'm a psycho?"
  "Hella psycho. [pause] What? I'm an L.A. rabbi." (Mr. Mayor, S01E09)
• "All right, I'm gonna need you all to do two types of ups: shut and listen." (Mr. Mayor, S01E09)
• Mr. Mayor Season Grade: C
• "I did not break your rules. They simply bent to my power." (WandaVision, S01E08)
• "I got close with fake Pietro. Fietro, if you will." (WandaVision, S01E08)
• "Did you forget who's got your children stashed away in her bewitched basement?" (WandaVision, S01E08)
• Who's the Boss? (WandaVision, S01E08)
• "Dick Van Dyke again?" (WandaVision, S01E08)
• "So, what I see here is a baby witch, obsessed with sitcoms and years of therapy ahead of her." (WandaVision, S01E08)
• "Is it funny because of the grievous injury the man just suffered?"
  "No, he's not really injured."
  "Ah. How can you be certain?"
  "It's not that kind of show."(WandaVision, S01E08)
• "But what is grief, if not love persevering?" (WandaVision, S01E08)
• "I can't feel you." (WandaVision, S01E08)
• To grow old in New Jersey? (WandaVision, S01E08)
• "My other friend was working at The National, says this one walks around with a boyfriend like it's not even a secret."
  "Hm?"
  "Derek Jacobi." (It's a Sin, S01E03)
• Stephen Fry: "I think Nanny's cross with me." (It's a Sin, S01E04)
• Doctor Who (It's a Sin, S01E04)
• "I pissed in Mrs. Thatcher's coffee."
  "You're lying."
  "Black man's piss." (It's a Sin, S01E04)
• "I've got news for you all. I wanted you to be the first to know. I'm gonna live."
  ♫: Belinda Carlisle – "Heaven Is a Place on Earth" (It's a Sin, S01E04)
• ♫: R.E.M. – "Everybody Hurts"? (It's a Sin, S01E05)
• It's a Sin Season Grade: C
• "We saw this really old movie at school today called King Kong! It had Jack Black in it!" (Close Enough, S02E01)
• "We got our results back from that bulk genetic test we bought from Costco!"
  "Nice. So, whose ancestors killed who?"
  "Well, my people came from Guadalajara, Bridgette's came from Kyoto, and Josh is white."
  (Close Enough, S02E01)
• "When you're with the Trickles, McRibs are on the menu year round!"
  "Take that, Ronald McDonald, you withholdin' sack of dog shit." (Close Enough, S02E01)
• "We'd do it at our place, but we're re-glazing our butthole washers." (Close Enough, S02E01)
• "Do your mom and dad have money?"
  "No, my dad does improv." (Close Enough, S02E02)

(Close Enough, S02E02)

• "Remember, tomorrow is Cher Day, so bring in a small item that makes you believe in life after love." (Close Enough, S02E02)
• "Who's this chick? She on the rag, too? Oh, cycle sisters. Hot." (Close Enough, S02E02)
• "It's lunchtime, bitch!" (Close Enough, S02E03)
• "No, don't stop to blow up your hemorrhoid donut!" (Close Enough, S02E03)
• ♫ "Want some hummus at 10:15 delivered to your door? / Access all man's knowledge and really specific porn?" ♫ (Close Enough, S02E03)
• "Out there, I'm a divorced adjunct professor with paper cuts on his dong. In here, I'm an invincible penised god." (Close Enough, S02E03)
• ♫: Smash Mouth – "All Star" (Close Enough, S02E03)
• "Not now, Beyoncé!" (Close Enough, S02E04)
• "Henri and I have so much in common. He also hates fake bitches." (Close Enough, S02E04)
• "I've also written an opera about your face." (Close Enough, S02E04)
• "And that, my friends, is how you disarm somebody who's holding a churro." (Close Enough, S02E04)
• "Pearle's simulating a terrorist takeover, just like in Die Hard 2, except in a building!" (Close Enough, S02E04)
• "Don't look at me, I'm just your dong."
  […]
  "Nooo! I wanted no part of this." (Close Enough, S02E04)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: P-Valley
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: How To with John Wilson