Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

19. Wild and Crazy Kids (Outer Range, S01E08)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • Jerry Buss smacking the camera (Winning Time, S01E09)
  • "Goodness sakes, you've been rich too long. You forgot how to be useful." (Winning Time, S01E09)
  • "I have given my whole life to men. Fathers, husbands, sons. Has its upsides. It's hard to be out there all on your own. I fell on my ass a few times. I gave up. But you're better than me. You're a good girl, Jeanie. Don't be too good." (Winning Time, S01E08)
  • Magic Johnson's memento drawer (Winning Time, S01E08)
  • "They went with Adam DeVine and Josh Gad. Two short guys. Never, ever, ever going to work. Not funny." (Barry, S03E02)
  • "Stop being so much fun!" (Barry, S03E02)
  • "The Man Show does not age well." (Barry, S03E02)
  • "We should talk about it right now because it is tomorrow."
    "But she needs to get spaghetti." (Barry, S03E02)
  • "I need you to not only look inside your wallet, but your soul. It's part of the settlement."
    "To apologize? What kind of law practice is this?"
    "A law practice whose goal is to eradicate meanness."
    "Wait. That's you guys?" (Barry, S03E02)
  • "Gene Cousineau? That's your acting teacher?"
    "That the guy that brought the loaded gun to the Full House audition?" (Barry, S03E02)
  • "You look kind of vegan." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E02)
  • "You know, you'll be my age before that silly cunt brings you your fuck¡ng profiterole." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E02)
  • "Juzzie, bring me some asbestos in a sippy cup for this righteous Greenpeace Olympian. And a slice of dolphin on a Kaiser roll." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E02)
  • "Women are first contact for most humans because they possess an olfactory introduction. I smell no threat in your presence."
    "Okay. Just… Okay. Sit there. And please try not to smell any women." (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E02)
  • "The pupa is afraid as well."
    "Don't talk about my child, please."
    "No faith! A white girl would never…" (The Man Who Fell to Earth, S01E02)
  • "Kid, there's no dictatorship in America more solid than a beat cop on his post." (We Own This City, S01E02)
  • "When things get boring and you wanna second-guess the tap, here's something Judge Quarles told me that might help: 'The bad guy has to be perfect all the time, while all we have to be is lucky one time.'" (We Own This City, S01E02)
  • "A taxpayer murder rates a second detective." (We Own This City, S01E02)
  • "Why you wearing those stupid fucking shoes, man? I see the fucking Jordans, I just give it a smack. Man, my bad." (We Own This City, S01E02)
  • "Oh, no! It's the tall mom from Knives Out." (Mr. Mayor, S02E08)
  • "Why didn't I bring Arby's for her to sign? I'm so stupid." (Mr. Mayor, S02E08)
  • "If those are the wings of a dove angel, there should be four wings since it had two before it died."
    "By that logic, human angels should have four legs."
    "O-M-B. I'm Buddhist now." (Mr. Mayor, S02E08)
  • "You made Z101's Dr. Fart throw up. And I don't know what you said to Sanchez Gomez."
    "Tanto que hasto los moon pies…"
    "You can't just scare people, Arpi. If devastating facts and figures made a difference, I would be eating a much different diet. You need to help people understand. It's like when you're supposed to read Hamlet for school, and your mom's like, 'It's okay. It's not that complicated. It's basically The Lion King. So you watch The Lion King, you get a D, and you graduate."
    "Fine. You're so smart. Tell me how to turn this into 'Hakuna Matata.'"
    "Okay, first of all, that song has a time jump in it, so Timon and Pumbaa had years to cheer up Simba." (Mr. Mayor, S02E08)
  • "Are those LEDs? Yes! Everyone looks terrible." (Mr. Mayor, S02E08)
  • "When I was 19, I was living in a car and heading for Canada because of Vietnam."
    "Oh, my God. I love Vietnam. I was, like, so tall there." (Mr. Mayor, S02E08)
  • "You are the only real superpower…I ever had." (Moon Knight, S01E06)
  • "Hippo!" (Moon Knight, S01E06)
  • "Tell me to spare you, and I will."
    "I choose obliteration over mercy." (Moon Knight, S01E06)


(Moon Knight, S01E06)

  • </Moon Knight, S01>
  • "My god! I got into Raya!"
    "Really? I couldn't. The dragon has hair and doesn't sing."
    "It's the secret dating app for celebrities. [gasps] It's already suggesting. Goldbergs regular Tim Meadows." (Girls5eva, S02E01)
  • "Can Max do karate on Wednesdays? Jane's son has peanut reintroduction on Tuesdays." (Girls5eva, S02E01)
  • Wickie's gallbladder exploding (Girls5eva, S02E01)
  • "Please, Timothy Meadows. Obviously, I wanna cut ribbons at steakhouses with you, meet your boat, inspire your niece to go into fashion. I wanna be there when a hurricane takes your childhood home because the tragedy brings us closer. But I can't. I cannot let you Yoko Girls5eva." (Girls5eva, S02E01)
  • "Ooh, just use the codeword that we had for visible tampon string when we did MTV4's The Grind's Spring Break Slam Palace."
    "Jack Bauer." (Girls5eva, S02E01)
  • "Tim Meadows was heartbroken." (Girls5eva, S02E01)
  • "Half our old songs weren't even spell-checked."
    ♪ "We don't want no average Joe so you better be rollin' in some Doug" ♪ (Girls5eva, S02E02)
  • "According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word 'set' has the most meanings…430. And this song uses all of them." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
  • "'Hope is a four-letter word' came to me while I was eating dim sum. For me, dim sum is the shower." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
  • "Uh, nope, and we don't need a surrogate. But I'm sure you got a dope ute, Sniper Mom Omaha." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
  • "I do not get the foot thing at all. I am just a meat-and-potatoes genitals gal." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
  • "But the other foot, while fully functional, is far from beautiful. Nicknamed Reek, it lives in the shadows." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
  • ♪ "And I know that Gloria punched BJ Novak in the face on an unaired episode of Punk'd" ♪ (Girls5eva, S02E02)
  • "What kind of deep dive did you do on me?"
    "Well, I also saw a post where you ate octopus. How did it feel eating something that's capable of pranks?" (Girls5eva, S02E02)
  • "You should do Peloton. It makes you less precious elsewhere." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
  • "But I get the house, the cars, the Peloton, and Stevia, plus continued support for my extensions and 3/4 of all of our Doug." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
  • "I got rid of my 'Summer loves Kev' tattoo."
    "'Summer loves Kevin Bacon's filmography.'" (Girls5eva, S02E02)
  • "Dawn, your ego could unlock my phone 'cause recognition technology." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
  • "I can't say sorry to a guy that pushes up the sleeves of his blazer."
    "It's called Varvatos-ing." (Girls5eva, S02E02)
  • "It's an ode to the largest city in America that doesn't have a hit song about it!"
    ♪ "Tap into your Fort Worth" ♪ (Girls5eva, S02E03)
  • "Hey, Maria, you gotta get the Sirius station off Raw Dog Comedy. It's 10:00 a.m. Lisa Lampanelli is on a 'vaginal ruin' run." (Girls5eva, S02E03)
  • "I know from Scott's favorite dinner party story that every brick has a unique stamp."
    "Well, that's a good lesbian fact." (Girls5eva, S02E03)
  • "What's the sexiest pain reliever? Bayer, right?"
    "No devices on set"
    "No… I didn't get a chance to press send."
    "Chef's Table wasn't over." (Girls5eva, S02E03)
  • "Sir, uh, this is a Sliding Doors moment."
    "Oh, good, so it'll work out either way." (Girls5eva, S02E03)
  • "Hey, will you watch Max for a minute? I'm just gonna go get him some food."
    "Okay. Okay, sir, come." (Girls5eva, S02E03)
  • "I have seen you flirt a zillion times. You J-O'ed all of O-Town. You blowfished Hootie. You ran the table on the cast of Whose Line Is It Anyway?" (Girls5eva, S02E03)
  • "I filmed that caffeinated-tampons commercial."
    "Tamperx?" (Girls5eva, S02E03)
  • "Okay, little man, are you a kinesthetic learner or a social-interpersonal?" (Girls5eva, S02E03)
  • "She's cute. I like her. My ticker's going, and my knees are weak, and I wanna buy her a horse." (Girls5eva, S02E03)
  • ♪ "From Zendaya to Zen-night-a" ♪ (Girls5eva, S02E03)
  • "He's boring, just like his father."
    "Can I play with another receipt?"
    "Yes, honey!" (Girls5eva, S02E03)
  • "Oh, JK Rowling just tweeted in support of you, Stinker."
    "Shut it all down. I'm going to France." (Girls5eva, S02E03)
  • "So, look, I have to cancel."
    "Why?"
    "My schedule's changed. I have to get up to Durham and back to Tampa in less than a day and…and I just think my ass might need at least a couple days to recover." (The Staircase, S01E03)


Colin Firth eating Toni Collette's ass (The Staircase, S01E03)

  • "Sorry, man. That's not enough."
    "Oh. Well, I'll just let fate take care of it."
    "I'll pay for it, man. Damn, just move."
    "Thank you, fate." (Atlanta, S03E08)
  • "Your friend, you know, he kind of seems like he's seen the other side before, but, uh, are you sure you want this?"
    "My nigga, I had to watch the movie Cats sober with a bitch who lied to me about having some dank, okay? So I know extremes. Yes." (Atlanta, S03E08)
  • "Stereolab? All right, man." (Atlanta, S03E08)
  • "Are you someone to other people?"
    "I'm nobody, so you can leave me alone."
    "Well, everyone is nobody. But are you a nobody to everyone?" (Atlanta, S03E08)
  • "Two dirty martinis, a gin and Hpnotiq, and…"
    "Uh, White Hennessy, neat."
    "Two dirties, a Blue Lagoon, and a Chris Evans." (Atlanta, S03E08)
  • "You're not the first rapper, just so you know."
    "Do you know what they call her apartment?"
    "106 and Park." (Atlanta, S03E08)
  • </Outer Range, S01>
  • "'Big Dick's Halfway Inn'? Really?
    "Yeah. Big Dick suffers from gigantism. Hence, the nickname 'Big Dick.' And he's always wanted to have a hotel halfway between Toronto and Niagara Falls. You know, Halfway Inn!"
    "Yeah, Big Dick's Halfway Inn. Yeah. Oh! Did you see there? They had a gift store. Pants are half off."
    "See? Reasonable prices. But that's just who Dick is. I just hope people can see past his prolapsed anus." (The Pentaverate, S01E01)
  • "Behold, before you is a choice. Take the key, and you shall join us in protecting the world. Take the pill, and you shall end your life."
    "What will be choice? Will it be key or 'peele'?"
    "Come on, now." (The Pentaverate, S01E01)
  • "I can't run too good on account I got necrosis of the left testis."
    "From a western?"
    "No, it's from when I was stunt coordinator on The Golden Girls. Fuck Estelle Getty!" (The Pentaverate, S01E04)
  • </The Pentaverate, S01>

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *