I thought the offensive Halloween costume of the year would be "monkeypox victim," but then Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story happened.

Offensive pumpkin of the year: knucklehead.

Everything you can imagine now has a seasonal pumpkin variant.

Pumpkin manifest destiny.

Who is buying all this pumpkin shit, though? It feels like supply exceedingly outstrips demand.

Imagine being poor in December and receiving a box full of just pumpkin-flavoured shit.

Pumpkin food pantries.