Spaghetti Cat, meet Cupcake Dog.

related: Best Week Ever with Paul F. Tompkins is awful.

• Chipotle Employee Just Gave Guy In Front Of You More Rice

You have resorted to communicating your displeasure in a number of passive-aggressive ways. These include glaring at the employee when he looks away and providing somewhat curt burrito-filling instructions in an apparent hope that your cold tone of voice will make him realize that a terrible mistake has been committed.

BWAH!

I've stewed similarly over portions of chicken, particularly when I order tacos.

"What is that? Type 1 on the Bristol Stool Scale? You gave the guy in front of me a heaping scoop! This is un-egalitarian! I'm paying the same price for tacos!"

"Is that an air pocket in my container of guacamole?"

Prolonged frowning once scored me free soda pop.

Women scooping chocolate ice cream also exasperate me.

If you know that part of your job involves scooping chocolate ice cream and that chocolate ice cream is difficult to scoop, do some forearm curls!

"What is that? I'm paying for a scoop of ice cream, not a number! You don't get to round up! How would you like it if you had breast cancer and I scooped 'plenty' of the tumor out?"

"Get FREE chips and salsa when you buy anything* from our FIESTA PLATTER MENU."
* Does not include chips and salsa.

"Do the chips and salsa come with chips and salsa?"

Get FREE rice when you buy anything from our NIGIRI SUSHI MENU.

Wait, the offer ends February 14?

"Happy Valentine's Day."
"Chips and salsa? You shouldn't have!"

Pro Bowl party at my place.