Previously on Adam Riff™: I have an ACCENT?

Danielle:
it's a northern californian accent
youve always had it, i always noticed it
it's light
like… say california
you probably say caulifornia
[ed: I might if I was Austrian]
say dollar
it sounds more like dullar

[pause]

Robert:
how could you not know
everyone thinks you do

I'm not oblivious; I just can't hear this mysterious itinerant accent. Beverly Hills, Long Beach, Nor Cal…

Young Republican Mark (ever the reliable little shit):
you have a stanford accent
asian/rich/stoner/liberal/pompous
its ironically the same accent black guys have
when they become white washed

Okay, let's settle this issue once and for all — with a podcast.